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A love that could (never) be

Janae

10 Aug, 2010 12:37 AM

I've been getting bored a lot with life and thing's. It felt like there was nothing to do... One day I found this site on my cellphone and decided to try it out. I signed up and immediately started getting messages and I was replying. This one guy really stood out from the rest, he was really sweet and never said anything bad about anything. Which made me think "is he really this way?" We've been talking for awhile and About a month or so later... He asked me out, and stupidly, I said yes. Even though he was from Nevada and I am from London Ontario. So it was like a long distance relationship. We were going strong and he always made me happy. He never failed to not put a smile on my face. He made me blush with his words... and I fell for him so hard then... One day my sister told me he wanted to be with her. and we were still together! So I decided to text him and he thought she was my friend. I said "u wanna date my sister now?" and he said yes, ignoring my feelings... I began bawling and barely able to text right. He tried to say sorry but I said "forget it you love my sister. Don't talk to me anymore." and he wouldn't stop apologizing, which made me think he cared about me. I eventually forgave him and we began dating again. I loved him too much to let him go. I loved him more than anything in the world... Then he started trying to make me jealous about other girls, that is not the right way to treat a girl. I gave him a piece of my mind and we broke up... But... I forgave him again... Like I said, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. this same thing happened multiple times and I began to say meaner things to him and I could tell he was getting tired of it as much as I was getting tired of his games... And I'd always end up saying sorry... I don't know what made me fall so hard for such a bad guy... But he kept me back there, I felt like I was unable to forget him and move on. I needed him at this point... One day I consulted him about how we argue a lot and needed to break up he gave me all these words (lies) of love. No girl deserves a guy who lies about love. Its not an everyday lifestyle game thing. Its real emotions with real people. And he hurt me badly but I could not let him go... I apologized... I said I loved him, I was afraid of losing him forever... I thought he hated me... I got a big pain in my stomach that night because he hadn't text me or anything that whole day... I cried, I was in pain... I wanted that (one) text... the one usually saying (Oh okay) at least I knew that meant he forgave me... But I never got it... :( I thought of everything he's ever said to me... I loved the way he lied... I knew he was lying about his feelings but I wanted to hear it from him even though they were lies.. I knew something was wrong with me because I wanted him back so much. But I couldn't have him because he didn't want me... I cried myself to sleep... thinking of EVERY single lie that made me so happy... (I love you forever), (U mean the world to me), (i will always love u and only u), (i cant ever let u go), (I wish u were with me right now).... Those all ran through my mind as i drifted off to dreamland where, my dream was to talk to him again....... The next day, he still wasn't answering me... So I decided to call him while I was at school. I left and went into the bathroom, sat down and called... all I heard was 1 ring and then (the number u have reached is unable to take ur call) then the sound of the mans voice saying those words, and the beeping followed shortly after... I began to cry, feeling tears rolling down my cheeks nonstop and feeling the pain worse than ever... I wanted to be mad at him, but I couldn't cuz he was gone... I wanted him to be there for me again... but he was gone... I knew what he had done... He erased me from his life... and this time, for good.....



I appreciate if anyone reads this I actually did fall this hard for a guy... But I do hope it never happens again... and I hope it doesn't happen to u either... Nobody knows the pain I went through and I am still going through... I still think about him and I still am waiting for that (one) text... And Hopefully, I will get it one day... Wish u the best in ur love life

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naqiya says:
16 Aug, 2010 07:08 AM

heyy janae....ur storyy was very touching dear...i hope he texts uu soonn...!!

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merry says:
16 Aug, 2010 06:35 PM

wow i am so sorry for what u have felt i have felt that befor so i do know what u are going throgh but my pain was not for long i just fell in love with someone els and forgot about him it helps

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noor says:
19 Aug, 2010 09:36 PM

heyy my best advicee is too just 4get aboutt him! u have the same problem as my matee in skool she kept on 4 givin him nd he kept on makn her jealuse nd shit nd in the end they 4gave each other but one day he broke her heart soo badly she didnt kno waht hit her. so darling my best advice find a new guy nd dnt be upset cuz u guys broke up be happy u had the experience wiv him:)learn from ur mistakes..:)TC

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ankita says:
24 Aug, 2010 08:47 AM

Hey Janae,ni read ur story n i thot it iz similar to my situation...bt v havn't broke up wid each othr. nso.......hiz name iz Rahul v too met on a networking site n den jst after one week he propozed me i didn't wat waz in ma mind dat i jst jumped up n accept hiz propozal...he stayz in Delhi,india n i in maharashtra,india so basically itz a long distance relationship in my case too.nv started takin to each other on fone for 5 hourz at a stretch bt dn't knw wat happened to him suddenly dat he started to avoid me badly.ni too uzed to cal him,argue wid him n den apologize to him....i too started to tell him dat i feel for him strongly n asked him not to b'have so harshly wid me,nt to ignore me bt everytime i uzed to call him he uzed to scold me badly n started giving excuzes saying he iz too buzy to tak to me,dat i shudn't b disturbing him,keeping d fone occupied b'cz he getz callz for d job he haz applied....den wen i uzed to break up wid him he jst uzed to blackmail me emotionally dat he luvz me,he cudn't have imagined in hiz rarest of rare dreamz dat i wud break up wid him n stuffs....nthen i realized dat i shud not tak to him,disturb him n i stopped calling him that frequently,infact i didn't uzed to cal him at ol.ni waz at ma native place n since there waz no network there so i uzed to keep ma cell fone switch'd off.none day luckily i waz on my terrace listening to some songz suddenly d network came n i got hiz messagez dat he had sent me for many dayz wen ma cell waz switch'd off n den he call'd him n he started shouting on me saying-where wer u for so many dayz,y waz ur fone switch'd off,y weren't u calling me ....blah....blah....blah....i told him d problem n then he told me he needed some money to pay d rent for a hotel b'cz he had got a job n he had to stay in a hotel until he getz hiz own plce to stayni reach'd maharashtra transferred some amount to hiz account since then i've noticed him changed,talking polotely wid me,apologizez for everything to me even if he haz done nothin,callz me everyday n sayz u r only one for me n dat he'z nothin without me.....bt d thing iz dat he alwayz haz some or the other problem regarding money n m bound to help him....nw m feelin stuck wid him dnt knw wat to do n m wondering abt dis sudden change in him..ni think he iz wid me b'cz m helping him financially n nt b'cz he luvz me.ni can't even break up wid him b'cz i luv him very mch.ni wish some day the Almighty will surely let me knw d reazn for this sudden change in hiz b'haviour n also that whether he luvz me or not.

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Janae says:
24 Aug, 2010 05:22 PM

Thanks for the advice and opinions they mean alot... im glad that There are other ppl not just me who experienced sumthin like this... not glad that ur hurt though... I found out he was with other girls too, i called him a player, and he was like "no i only love u" but when he didnt wanna deal with me he just start ignoring me and let me cry... Then i guess when he would do that i'd say i was sorry for calling him all this other stuff... But he was so nice, NEVER got mad at me... he even got mad at my sister but idk why... I do truthfully think he did like me, just that, idk he was havin too much fun playing with other girls feelings... I feel sorry for those other girls he still talks to... :'( sorry just all those memories running through my head now... anyway thanks for reading

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Janae says:
24 Aug, 2010 05:24 PM

BTW I dont think i'll ever forget him he left his mark in my heart its gonna stay there... like a scar... but he didn't break my heart its still beating just love him too much

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Ana Karen says:
30 May, 2012 01:49 PM

well i just wanted 2 say dat i know its hard 2 pass through dis.......but theres TIME 4 everything=]

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JANA says:
14 Nov, 2012 04:41 PM

HEY JANAE.. I noe wts it has been like..hope u r fine..

i really felt bad after readin dis...Wish u oll da best in ur life!

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brota says:
24 Aug, 2015 06:52 AM

hey janae....i hv read ur stry...its kinda heart broken story.....n i hope one day he text u....bt i will only say..that just be strong....n everything happens for a reason....

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aditi says:
08 Aug, 2017 08:08 PM

love is blind and its also happened with me

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cattie says:
29 Jan, 2018 04:35 AM

Your story is quite similar with mine... "thinking of EVERY single lie that made me so happy..." damn...
how to move on? haah

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