True But Sad Love
Ajern9907 Feb, 2013 12:50 PM
It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm. She said, "I miss you." I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home." She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine. I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go." Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat. Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!" Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."
We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go. She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this." With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever." She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face. She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore." I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?" I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.
Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain wouldl go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide. But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years's feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.
The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence. I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself." She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the gate that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her. I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.
She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn't see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I left without regrets. But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words.
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CommentsPost a Comment
25 May, 2013 02:32 AM
This story is soooo sad...I thought that it was actually Chris telling this story. This story is very inspirational to all readers. And I'm very sorry for your loss Susan.
31 May, 2013 08:50 PM
Some thngs r so hard to explain yet so important as wel. I put myslf in the shoes of this guy, how cud he tel da apple of his eyes dat it oz tym 4 ha to pluck it? To all readers, treasure ua relationshps... Neva search 4 lov, let it search 4 u. So saad it invited water of my eyes
05 Jun, 2013 10:50 PM
Sooo sad /;
07 Jun, 2013 06:04 AM
I thought it was very touching. At first I thought the guy was telling the sorry. I thought I want nice for Edgar he did. Loved the story
11 Jun, 2013 09:31 AM
this is so very sad..........
i wish susan and chris will be together someday'
and continue their love for each other....
11 Jun, 2013 04:01 PM
This was soooooo sad i though chris was telling the story :'( that made me cry now im gonna go tell my boyfriend how much i love him and how amazing he is
11 Jun, 2013 08:35 PM
Umm... So you never called him still ??
13 Jun, 2013 04:02 PM
Bro so touching. I can`t read this
14 Jun, 2013 05:27 PM
Wow that is so sad but you know he loved you till the last day of his life
17 Jun, 2013 01:13 AM
17 Jun, 2013 04:56 PM
I am very very sorry for this, it bough tears to my eyes
18 Jun, 2013 01:03 AM
this story Is soo sad
19 Jun, 2013 03:13 AM
): that was sad (aww! Tear)
21 Jun, 2013 12:05 PM
God bless u...
24 Jun, 2013 09:14 PM
I'm sorry Susan
25 Jun, 2013 02:34 AM
so did chris kill himself, or change his mind?
27 Jun, 2013 01:14 PM
I pray fr thm
28 Jun, 2013 11:13 AM
no pain can b as PAINFULL as d pain of love.... it was so heart touching..... it made tears to my eye. susan, no one can undrstnd Chriss better than u....
02 Jul, 2013 05:38 AM
Its a very sad story :(
05 Jul, 2013 10:43 AM
...=( so sad.!! its very admiring story ever!... whoooh!!! C.R.Y me gaushhh
07 Jul, 2013 09:25 PM
i died reading it .
09 Jul, 2013 11:47 AM
Feeling hard sadness
11 Jul, 2013 04:12 AM
This made me cry so much , made me want to hold the one I love closely but his feelings correspond to someone else
11 Jul, 2013 07:18 AM
11 Jul, 2013 11:52 AM
16 Jul, 2013 10:14 AM
i'm realy sorry susan,is was a sad story u make me cry
16 Jul, 2013 01:51 PM
Please you guys are a bunch of pussys. Its not even that sad. If that made you cry your a fucking waus. Thats all.
17 Jul, 2013 10:00 AM
21 Jul, 2013 06:10 AM
that was sad...im sorry for you susan but i bet he is watching over you:) god bless you.
22 Jul, 2013 06:34 AM
Very hurt story...
26 Jul, 2013 03:02 AM
Hey Susan you tried to get close to him you did your best I'd be sad too. Quite emotionally
This is a sad day i wish you all the happiness i can give
30 Jul, 2013 08:56 AM
A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you,but later find out that it was not meant to be,you just have to let go. very sad story, i wept after reading
31 Jul, 2013 09:55 PM
That was a very nice touching story I liked it I also wanna be a writer one day hope my dream come true
02 Aug, 2013 07:44 AM
Font you got it she found diary after death of Chris
02 Aug, 2013 07:47 AM
Heartless it better you come to your true face you hiding your soft part and pretending to be hard so love you, and every good persone
02 Aug, 2013 07:48 AM
I want to share this story to everyone I love but cant????
02 Aug, 2013 07:49 AM
I want to hug you rightly Susan????
02 Aug, 2013 07:54 AM
Viktor I already did what you said let love search you but in reality this doesn't work
06 Aug, 2013 02:25 AM
its tru love...and tru love nvr ends
06 Aug, 2013 07:35 AM
it was amazing i liked this story i have no words really true love some time far away from us but emotions no ways we should carry on.....never stop
07 Aug, 2013 07:48 AM
This touched my heart and made me realize that the person you love can be gone instantly . Also appreciate & love thoes who do Love and care for you and tell them before it's to late . /:
18 Aug, 2013 11:29 AM
I love this story i swept right after i read it Susan i feel sorry for you
19 Aug, 2013 12:20 PM
ooh so sad .. in this disgusting life we couldn’t do anything except see what will happen 4 our lovers so !!! i can’t say any words :(( >> god bless u ^^
23 Aug, 2013 04:04 PM
at the beginning, I was so mad, that why he reacts this way, while he loves her too, but at the middle it took the twist, that almost made me to roar like a wounded lion... But very Sad, very traumatic for me. Because only those people can realize this sad story that they are fallen once due some untold reasons.
24 Aug, 2013 11:31 PM
Awww so sweet I dont read much but I really got into this story
24 Aug, 2013 11:32 PM
Sad this is so sad
15 Jun, 2014 11:12 AM
life is full of things which we wished to have said, wished to have done,but washed away by some reason. this makes great loses in life.
18 Jul, 2015 06:16 PM
I'm a cancer patient too! My love got married with other guy coz of her parents I still loved her and I will loved her till the end of my life...
11 May, 2016 05:03 PM
...wow...susan,im so sorry. but at least he cared enough to not cause yu pain and sadnesss. he didnt want u to hurt,id appreciate that. i lost someone to cancer as well,they didnt tell me until theyre mom told me at her funeral...i know somewhat howu feel. at least yu know he loves yu still. even tho he is gone jus make sure u see hi when ur gone too. dont give up o love tho. anther lover will come eventually,and yu cant let it go,sure it wont be the same,but try ...im sorry for ur loss,,im crrying right now...im sorry
03 Jul, 2016 02:30 AM
aww they were both oblivious about what they were doing i dont want to loose my love like that
03 Jul, 2016 02:33 AM
okay one thing that rememinded me of a song sad song and now that is there song
07 Jan, 2017 10:27 PM
I feel so sorry 4 u Susan.I am sure u and Chris will be together 1 day...
U have truly inspired me to not be afraid of telling the my BF how much I(truly)love him. Thx so much!It's so annoying when the time u notice how much u love that "someone" is when u lose them:( Heartless FYI twinkle twinkle little star what u say is what u r.So ur the pussy(a cold-hearted 1)and ur the fucking waus.And guess what I did cry 'cause I "actually" have a heart.
16 Apr, 2018 07:40 PM
I literally started tearing up to this story that my friend saw