Vote +21

All alone forever

The broken girl

18 Apr, 2015 03:16 PM

I literally will be all alone......forever.

I am the cheerful kind person everyone loves except some people don't see me like that. I have a lot of friends because I study people and then act like their ideal person. I'm not pretending. Each person I act like is just another part of me. Though I always regret it in the end because when I act like myself they think I'm acting weird. I get sad when they look up what our names mean and it shows the exact description of the TRUE me in the middle of all those other ones because when they see it they say its the exact opposite of me or its nothing like me. People pretend they know me all the time when they really don't. I just smile and agree but what they also don't know is I'm a great actress too.

I recently got in a fight with one of my friends at school during lunch. She was depressed because someone passed away just the night before. I was having a bad day too that I was at my breaking point. She started getting ticked off at me and called me a liar. She thought I was pretending to be sad. That's the problem. They think I'm always happy and never sad when in truth its the opposite. I just care about everyone so much that I endure it. Sometimes I even wonder if I'll ever have someone who truly understands. Then I think again and I realize......I won't.

My disease
I have some kind of heart disease. When my heart gets flustered or is happy I get really sick or get bruised all over. That means if I care about someone it hurts to be around them or talk to them. When they touch me I get hurt. They just don't know that because I endure it. I had to be a brat and rude to my parents so that they'd stay away. It hurts when they talk about me and think they know their daughter but it hurts even more that I cant be around them just because I love them. Four of my best friends died because of me. They were all boys because I liked them. They liked me back. Whether its a coincidence or not it happened. How am I still going on and not crying? I really don't know.

My declaration
There's a boy at school who's my best friend. I care about him a lot but like someone else. He must care about me too because he hurts me the most. Everyone says we're perfect and maybe we are but that shouldn't be why he hurts me the most. He touched me on the arm last week and now I have a bruise there. It spread to my other arm yesterday. I can't even be around him now but what am I supposed to tell him. We tell each other everything but my parents even called me a liar. How can I stay away from him without breaking his heart. Its scary hard but I haven't once thought about suicide. That's my story. Well, just part of it. I swear I wont kill myself because there are to many people I need to confront. For you people who are alone don't think about suicide. Take it from me. I will always be alone because of my heart disease but I still keep on trying because I care about him way more then I do myself. Keep trying not only for yours but their sake and mine. This is a completely TRUE story. Please tell me what happens. I really want to hear your story too. Thanks if you read all this and wish me good luck on Monday. I'm going to confront him.

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sam daley says:
30 Apr, 2015 08:30 PM

Depression can take anyone at any moment. I haven't heard of that heart condition however you shouldn't worry about physical bruising worry about emotional bruising. You might get a bruise where he touches you but it isn't as bad as you pushing him away, scarring him for life.

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Fighting against fate says:
03 May, 2015 07:48 AM

the word is love right? Is it even true? Is life unfair or are the people in it unfair? what have i given life and what has life given me? what am i doing even doing?

my life revolves around these obscure questions, or maybe conflicts......

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Sanya says:
03 May, 2015 09:37 PM

It's okay it happens

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ravi says:
05 May, 2015 12:00 PM

its total about life

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The broken girl says:
06 May, 2015 10:41 AM

I know and thank you Sam. I didnt push him away. He hurts me even more now but that's okay. I learned that this is just a part of my life.

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Cindy says:
08 May, 2015 04:26 AM

Omg this is a story a girl can relate to (such as me) it really made me feel better to know there is actually more girls who feel this way.

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The broken girl says:
10 May, 2015 12:00 PM

Yes don't worry Cindy. Your not alone. You may be alone at home but just kno that out there are people who feel the same way.

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Liam Anderson says:
13 May, 2015 09:22 PM

Hey, I love this story. You should be careful when you confront him. You don't know what will happen. But you are not alone. I will be here if you ever need me :) Be safe :D

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Shishir says:
14 May, 2015 04:21 PM

Try to love yourself and people around you will fall for you..

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The broken girl says:
15 May, 2015 08:06 PM

Thx Liam. Yesterday was really fun actually. It hurt me a lot but it made me really happy to have fun with my boy budday. So even if it hurts it still feels good. Thx and if anything else happens I'll post a story or poem.

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The broken girl says:
23 May, 2015 01:19 PM

Please check out my story There's a boy for every girl coming soon if you liked this story! A shorter version of how I met my Boy budday!

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Raven says:
17 Jul, 2015 06:05 AM

I love your story you are strong and we need more people like you with your spirit.

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The broken girl says:
17 Jul, 2015 07:38 PM

Thanks Raven! :D I agree. I hope anyone who's feeling down gets better soon. I hate seeing people die that didn't get to see the world in bright colors. But its not just for my sake and hating of it. Its for theirs. I believe they gave up to early if they commit suicide. Thats okay and I hope they are reborn into a better life but I just wish they could've opened their eyes before it was too late.
R.I.P everyone who has committed suicide up till now. ????

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Majdiyah says:
14 Jan, 2016 05:41 AM

This story is very heart touching and similar to my life,I don't have any boy friends. Just, my life is about school its like I am a very good actress too , my friends and every other person I know thinks that they know me very clearly and deeply but actually they don't , not even 1% , no one understands me other than the god,some people see me alone but I am not alone because my god is always with me.
Ok and you also don't feel sad because God is with every one . I feel so bad , but I pray that you be all right

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The broken girl says:
22 Jan, 2016 02:26 PM

Thank you so much Majdiyah. Its great to know other people understand. I've started acting more like myself to my friends and parents. Even though they don't except me 100% its a start. So you keep fighting too and we'll both pray. :)

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elie ziadeh says:
04 Jun, 2017 08:32 PM

I feel you no one has ever liked me even my friends are acting that the love me but i know they dont everyone think i always but in truth i never lied i always honest and kind im just an ugly boy that hate himself all i need is one person to show me i have a value in this world someone that make me feel that im not born just to take place an empty on this planet im just living in darkness i just keep faking smiles. I just wish one day someone juat to look in my eyes and ask me why are you sad. All im doing these days is studying than faking smile all day open my phone at night read sad stories to make me feel that im not the only one who is suffering from sadness . i keep crying all night and try living in my imagination where i pretend to have someone who love me someone who accepte me for who i am. Thanks for sharing with us your story wish you the best.

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