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05 Dec, 2012 03:27 AM

Nothing is worse than the loss of a friend. David was a sweeter boy than anyone would ever understand. From my light of my first love to the depths of heart break he was there for me, lifting me up and keeping me in check. His friendship lifted me when the depths of sadness chilled my heart, weighing it down in the most painful ways.

I loved David with a love unconventional. I was 15 when I understood it and he was already in college. I didn't lust for him; I loved him more deeply than I ever will a significant other, but for different reasons.

I loved David for his beautiful smile, his laughter. I loved when he lifted me onto his shoulders at fireworks and took me to the beach in the hot summers. I loved that he held me when I cried and laughed with me when I was happy. I loved David for everything he was and stood for.

On the last day I saw David we walked through the forest near a lake. It was dark, the night much cooler than the July heat. I cried over the heartache I felt over my first love and he listened intently, so much wiser than I will ever be. "You’re one of the few people in this world that really feels; one of the few that loves and understands the feeling as true as it is. That's why you hurt this badly." he said after a moment. "Then what do I do?"
"You'll find someone who's perfect for you, in time, someone else that can understand love the way you do. He's not too far away."

I never learned what David meant that night. I didn't ask then and can't ask now. On August 4th, 2011 David was killed by a drunk driver. My heart has been heavy with sorrow since that day; I was held up only by him and in his absence I weigh down into myself, crushing everything inside of me and feeling every tiny prick of that grief. I can't feel happiness anymore.

I'll always love David; I can almost feel him touching my shoulder when I cry or see his face on those around me. I walk by myself now, following those paths we used to and listening for his footsteps beside mine.

David Michael Johnson; always loved, forever missed, never forgotten.

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