Hurt16 Jul, 2012 10:24 AM
I'm not sure I will be able to write this story the way I would want to, I mean it's very difficult to include all the details but just read it and your comments will be very helpful. But one thing remains, so many things have happened, I'm so sad and I need to talk to someone.
I keep asking myself the same question, why do we have faith that makes us fight for the things we'll never have?? ...Everything kept getting worse, I tried to have faith and to be positive, but I failed.
First, there was my first love, and he was sweet and nice and texting me and calling me all the time, but it turned out he was just trying to be friends. Too late... I was already in love. I was so hurt so in order to get over him, I started dating this guy that I wasn't even in love with but it turned out he was also just using me. Now there's a guy I like but I can't even let him know, in fact I don't even want him to have a clue because if its not reciprocated then what?
It kills me everyday to just think about all of this but I can't do anything I just lie in my bed and cry.
When I was growing up, I always told myself that if something did not make me cry, then it was not so painful after all. Now every night I just lie in my bed and cry.
My life has changed a lot over time, I know better now but then again, everything around me is painful, everything leads to trouble.
The new guy, I really like him, I can't walk away. It's not an option anymore. But the only thing I do is keep hoping to just see him at least once each day. I'm so helpless without hope or trust. Every time I get so mad at the world, I think of him and I wonder, what would it have been like if he was here?
I have a lot of long time girlfriends who really care about me and trust me a lot but I never have the strength to trust them back. My life is very difficult and complicated right now, I just want the new guy now more than ever. By the way, I have had a crush on him for over a year now!!
if you really care, send me an email; firstname.lastname@example.org.
I'll be waiting.