Vote +25

Sacrifice

Riza

12 Aug, 2011 05:43 PM

I was never the popular one in school, mostly ignored or bullied by my peers. I spent my school days being bullied and listening to the "cool" girls talk about boys. I wasn't one to believe in love and happily ever afters, as I thought who would love me if no one even wanted to be my friend?
I was an outcast, my friends were all boys. But as we grew up, the boys wouldn't hang out with me anymore.
At home, I was a good girl, listening to everyone and playing fair.
Until I met him.
My first impression of him was of an adorable, nerdy fellow. He proved me quite wrong, he was a fighter, a trouble-maker. And I loved him for him. I loved his strong side that he showed everyone, I loved his sweet smile and adorable accent, I loved his serious side and I loved his cute fear of spiders. I still do.
He had a girlfriend then, and seemed happy, so I decided not to tell him anything. I didn't want to ruin his world or our friendship. A year went by this way.
Something happened, he broke up with his girl, but he wouldn't tell me why. It didn't really matter and our friendship continued. He came over to my place, I went to his, and he even slept over once. Life looked less grim and school became a happier place since I began standing up for myself.
I asked him to be my boyfriend and he accepted. That had no much effect on us, our easy-going friendship continued. We hung out at arcades and played stupid games, like nothing changed.
Until I got angry at him one day, and he dumped me. At first, the pain seemed surreal. I was still his friend and there wasn't much awkward stuff to get over because I didn't want to break our friendship too. It worked fine for me, being his happy friend in the mornings and crying myself to sleep at night.
Then he moved away to another country, and I never got to say goodbye. I couldn't. When he was leaving, I gave him a small nod and moved off, as if if I denied that he was truly leaving, he would stay.
When I woke up in the morning, I was hit by an overwhelming tide of emotions. I checked the clock, 5:30am. He was gone already.
I missed him terribly and took to cutting myself to try ease the pain I had hidden. I cried incessantly, it hurt so badly. I felt like my soul was broken to pieces and set on fire.
He has a new girl there and I was really happy for him. It was my only wish, to have him happy, and I would gladly support him from afar if need be. I'd do anything for him.
Every time he visited, I wanted to hug him so desperately, but I was afraid it would ruin the perfect world he must have fought to build in his new home, if someone spread a rumor out saying he had some other girl in Singapore, his real girl would get angry at him, and he loved her. He didn't want to lose her.
My happiness is of no importance to me, I was never meant to have any. But he had been happy all along and I would do anything to keep it that way. Even if that means cutting and crying alone at home, hurting when he has problems and sacrificing my life, dreams and whatever happiness I may find.
I'll always be waiting for him, to pick him up when he's down and help him through whatever problems I can. It's been that way for three years, and it will stay that way.

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ginger says:
01 Nov, 2011 12:37 PM

im really sorry for what u have to go though this remind me of my boyfriend who was happy whith mw one day and the next never realy aknowlage me the next day

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Mary says:
02 Nov, 2011 05:44 PM

This is so sad :"(

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me.. says:
03 Nov, 2011 08:21 AM

this is the exact same happening in my life now !!!

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Shawna says:
04 Nov, 2011 04:20 AM

I'm so sorry. wish you luck

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Aayat says:
04 Nov, 2011 11:36 AM

I almost have the same story bt never really dated bt kissed n he never knew how much i love him but i guess we just have to be alone all our life....

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Lover Boy says:
05 Nov, 2011 12:55 AM

Its so sad., the boy has to know wat u feel., just tell him about ur feelings.,

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Ezekiel says:
05 Nov, 2011 09:07 AM

My dear i think thats where am heading but there is nothing i can do abt it. But my advice to you is STOP. I know is easier said than done but you will hurt yourself d more as you already have. Why not confide in sum1; say and OLd and trusted friend. He does not deserve you and its not his fault he just switch feeling which is natural. I can help u with things to do, aeze2009@yahoo.com mail me cos am broken hearted myself but i can help you dear.

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Ariana says:
05 Nov, 2011 09:25 PM

this reminds me of mah ex bf. he wld say he loved me one day but then not show it the next day. he wld kiss me in the shadows nd not in public. he didnt evn hold mah hand during school or walk me to mah classes. he only wanted one thing from me nd i wldnt give it to him so he wld get mad nd threaten me. i had to dodge his swings, exspeacialy wen he was drunk. i finally broke up with him. but he will nevr know how much i still love him. no one will...

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Anon/troll says:
05 Nov, 2011 10:51 PM

Umm.... Those of you here who are actually on this site.... -.- What the fuck??? Reading this shit is depressing look at it, if you're going to be sad, grow some balls and actually get an adventure on and do it, i mean this story is fake, there is no way some girl who is confident, and who'd actually grown confident could start cutting -.- cutting shows a lack of confidence, and break ups don't happen *Snap* like that it takes a little while of signs.

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Stephie says:
08 Nov, 2011 07:33 PM

Cheer up.... my case is sth similar... bt... for me... he is still in s'pore.... bt right aft he broke up wif me he patched back wif his ex which is my fren n he still gave me hope tat we cn b back tgt.... it really hurt me... they still held hands , kissed and stared at each other in front of me... although i still loved him .. i dun feel tat hurt now... cos he is my 'brother' now n i just hoped he cn b happy... so cheer up...

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Reyna says:
11 Nov, 2011 04:13 PM

Wow..-__-
I wont hurt u like the rest of the people but just one advice please get over it .. He dosent deserve u at all ..maibe some one else will. NOT him ..dont even think about him...use your time wisely and remeber life is short dont waist it..u sound like a wonderfull person that any person would never deserve to even be friends with..:)

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Shy says:
11 Nov, 2011 06:50 PM

After reading this I feel like my heart got steped on </3 I am so very sorry

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Muzzammil says:
13 Nov, 2011 10:46 AM

I thought that love is no more in this selfish world but u prove that love is still alive and i salute u for what u have done for your love.................:)

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Victory is for loosers says:
14 Nov, 2011 09:22 AM

Dear troll....
Your wrong...

Sinceerly </3

My way of dealing withh it is to just stay friends, i love one of my friends deeply and she i, we both have patners and constanly have people trying to get us to hook up.

It most likely will never happen but the great thing about it is not that we do physical stuff (we don't and have no reason to) however we connect deeply on an emotional level and coming from a guy thats something...

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awww says:
21 Nov, 2011 12:15 PM

this is so sad...but dont blame yourself or anything close to that. You can continue loving him but do move on. btw, did you just say Singapore? :D

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king says:
23 Nov, 2011 03:10 AM

itz sad 2 c al dis n i went thru abit of pain s wel bt cnt live in ur past na??? eida v cn move on o jst sit n w8 4 dt persn 2 come bck

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Sheline says:
05 Dec, 2011 12:35 AM

Aww.... this is so sad

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aliya says:
12 Jan, 2012 07:15 AM

this is so sad yaar...wish u luck..>!!!

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aaliya says:
01 Jul, 2012 09:20 AM

it was not so good.......

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shishya says:
02 Oct, 2012 07:47 PM

i truly admire youe passion...........and if you love someone so truly .you need to tell them.....or else ..they would be gone even before you know it !! :)

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Tef says:
16 Oct, 2012 09:37 PM

STOP OK? He doen't deserve your tears you're such an strong person for being with him even if he doesn't want to be with you but the thing is that you'll end up hurting yourself more than you think! Go meet people, have fun with your family,dog,cat,friends wathever but please sweety stop doing that!

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Phoenix says:
18 Jan, 2013 10:40 PM

Wow. I admire how you don;t care about your feelings totally devoted to him but you have to care for yourself too!

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Lisa says:
05 Feb, 2013 12:42 AM

Same thing. Except I'm shy tomboyish and a loner

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