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My Life

mayflower

31 Jul, 2011 09:51 PM

I don't know how exactly to start out the story so i guess ill start of with the first sad thing?

I was born into this world with a heart condition called I.H.S.S. I can't play any sports, i can't get too mad. My heart rate can't too high or i could die. I can't do many things actually. I can't work out too much and i can't eat many sweets. I found this out when i was 8. I ran to my mom saying i wanted to play a sport. I don't remember what it was, but I've always wanted to play softball. She told me i couldn't. I asked why, and, well, there's the answer.

Along with a heart condition, I was born with a gene to be very overweight. I was adopted, and i didn't know that 'til i was about 11. And you know, when your a kid you eat lots of candy. Gladly i got rid of the fat. I don't exactly know how, but i did. It made/makes it worse that i'm extremely picky also. I don't eat any fruit or vegetables, i don't eat applesauce, I'm not the most healthy person you would know.

My Birth mother died because of being too overweight. My birthday was/is a mystery. No one knew who he was. It was a one-night stand. They were drunk. 9 months later? here i am.

When i was about 4, me and my adoption family lived in Florida. My dad, uncle, and cousin were playing pool. My cousin popped the ball and it hit me in the eye. There's my first black eye. Afterwards, My cousin wanted to apologize, so he took me into the other room, laid me down and pulled off my one-piece bathing suit. He spread my legs and pulled down his pants. And, well.. you get the rest. I didn't know what was happening obviously, so i didn't say anything.

My mom and dad had an argument, and they divorced. We moved to NC. I haven't had a real dad in 9 years. My mom has to be the dad in the house. She always was. The only memory i have of my dad being around was the one day that was one of my worst.

After 5 years of being in one city, we moved to another. I had to leave my best friend for the first time. for about 3 years i tried to contact her. I though about her everyday. Cried myself to sleep, begged my mom to take me back. All i wanted was to see my best friend. Then one day i saw on the news "car crash-6 year old Katie killed". My best friend was killed by her drunken father.

About a year after that, i made some new friends. I did, not knowing how. Well, one of my new best friends had killed herself. she was about 2 years older than me at the time. All i knew what to do was to cry. So i did. I cried all night, the next night and for about the next 2-4 days.

Then, about 2 years later, another one of my best friends committed suicide. along with another a year later. All of these deaths coming along with nothing prepared. Life never prepares you for anything.

After all the suicides, i started to think about it. I tried and tried. I cut, i choked, i did everything i could but somehow im still here. I got sent to holly hill. When i came back, i sat in my room all the time. i only came out to eat, which was barely ever. i stopped eating. i ate about a bag of chips a week. i drank milk with alcohol mixed in a lot. Not to the point were i was an alcoholic though.

I finally stopped and carried on, and finally got a boyfriend. i was with him for a year. But, in the 4th month, he told me he loved me. I loved him. then he started to beat me, when he found me talking to some of my guy friends. Then by the end of our relationship he told me he didn't want me, he didn't love me anymore and he cheated on me with 4 other girls. That's when i started back.

I finally got to the point where i was sick of everything. i didn't talk to anyone. I didn't look at anyone. Only 2 people i would talk to was my best friend and my mom. Only 2 i could trust. Then, my best friend and me got into an argument. Because of that argument we didn't talk for a year.

We made up after me trying to talk to her for a year and were still best friends. But then, i moved again. So, i can't see her anymore. Once again, i have left my best friend.

My mom and my brother would always fight. They fight at least everyday. My brother has threatened to kill himself, and almost did by a drug overdose. My mom has called the police because she was so scared of my brother killing her or hurting her. My brother has ran away for about a week but came back. School mornings, we would always have a fight. Either me and my mom, my mom and my brother, me and my brother, or all of us. I would always go to school on the urge of tears until i finally got used to it. but then they started breaking things. i cringed hearing the beating of the hammer smashing against things. Boom. Boom! Boom! over and over.

But then it got worse. my mom wanted to leave. she started to cry, which she never does. i haven't seen her cry in 5-7 years. My mom is a happy person usually. She started packing and let me and my brother alone at our house for about 2 days with only macaroni to eat and water to drink. She finally came back. I saw her, and literally begged her never to leave again. My mom is all i have in this world. i don't have anyone else. No one but a pencil and paper. So once again, i live behind makeup and fake smiles.

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Brij jaisal says:
10 Sep, 2011 01:30 AM

So unlucky frnd bt be bold and possitive always thought thought that u r the best and their be every tink be okey.. Bye nic real story.

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Amy says:
12 Sep, 2011 06:16 PM

made me cry but i cant. cuz my family will- yea well i feel bad for u :( i wanna be friends :)

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Amy says:
12 Sep, 2011 06:17 PM

oh and my email is amychen249@aim.com :O

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kiara says:
13 Sep, 2011 06:48 AM

is this all true. how can this all happen to one person? i want to you to be happy, never give up and make sure you grow up with kids and a husband that loves you. Goodluck x

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Khadija says:
14 Sep, 2011 05:42 AM

Hey! i read your story today in school and i feel for you mate, im so sorry about your friends and everything, i have alot of shit going on at home and i can relate with you, if you wanna be friends sure! I don't mind, my email adress if : kadey96@hotmail.co.uk x hope to get in touch soon :D

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mr.prince says:
14 Sep, 2011 09:07 AM

wtf life tough to u :'(

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libo says:
16 Sep, 2011 04:08 AM

aww i am soo deeply sorry what u are going throuh.. life is hard yes but u dont deserve all those things that happen to u. GOD LOVES U. he is the only one that can help u in all these things...turn to him and open ur heart to him and everything shall be okay.

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ajinkyafoka says:
18 Sep, 2011 12:46 PM

so sad....
Wud u lyk to do frndshp wid me..?
Ma email adrs is..fokaajinkya@yahoo.com.

Also on facebook....ajinkya foka..
Tc

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harshwordsright says:
19 Sep, 2011 06:07 PM

the whole thing about your brother sounds just like my brother and i only have 1 friend and i lost her when i needed her most but i got her back.but ya my brother runs away and every week the cops show up at my house when i get home after school he has threatend my mom too him and i got in a fight next thing i knew he grabbed a knife and gashed his wrist open in front of me and said "see what you make me do?!"

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mayflower says:
20 Sep, 2011 07:19 PM

thank you all for your comments. i hate that some of you have similar problems. it sucks, i know. if you would like to talk you can just send me an email at hannahblueeye@yahoo.com or add me on skype. you can just askk for it in an email, and ill give it to you.
<3 love you all.
-writer of 'My Life'

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N says:
21 Sep, 2011 07:58 PM

OMG! I would have commit sucicde by now! :(

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DHERIAN says:
27 Sep, 2011 10:24 PM

So sad add me on fbook or yahoo dher_ceb@rocketmail.com

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Dherian says:
27 Sep, 2011 10:39 PM

Wanna be friends add me on fbook or dher_ceb@rocketmail.com

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Emma says:
02 Oct, 2011 09:01 AM

I fell sooo bad for you! Life through you a curve ball but stay strong because now you are an insperison to so many people. I wish you the best in all that you do. You're amazing and everyone should know

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Parra says:
04 Oct, 2011 04:37 AM

whatever will say cant fill all but whenever u going to cry, dont cry just talk with some one u will feel better, all here for u including me

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Parra says:
04 Oct, 2011 04:39 AM

oh i forget to mention virtualseason@yahoo.com

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eddie says:
05 Oct, 2011 12:12 AM

well i had read your stories but only one advice God loves you my friend and take care of yourself.

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SrsBznzer says:
06 Oct, 2011 08:04 AM

You seriously have that bad of a life? You must have googled random diseases and put them in, then afterwards thought of bad things that could happen to you. There's no way this is real.

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mayflower says:
07 Oct, 2011 09:49 PM

No. I dont see how someone could lie about this type of stuff. Thatd be terrible.Everyone has their own stories and this is mine. Once again, i wouldnt lie about this.

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Lauren says:
07 Oct, 2011 10:19 PM

I feel horrible I hope things get better for you and hope that never happens again... Dont ever give up hope its all we have in this world so never ever give up.

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ali says:
08 Oct, 2011 02:25 PM

a really nice story..but the one who is in this story in very unlucky from life..but he/she is lucky by his/herself ..live ur life with a new start

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catt says:
09 Oct, 2011 07:13 AM

Do. not.give.up.ever.
Jehovah loves you. Find out who he is and you will find happiness.

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nashiralee says:
16 Oct, 2011 12:14 AM

this is crazy i am truly sorry for everything i dont wanna think about somebody passing through that i want us to talk be friends i will love too my fb email is nashi.93@hotmail.com please add me sweety

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mikaela says:
19 Oct, 2011 02:40 AM

Wow..that's really hectic! I'm so sorry about what has happend to you in your life! Wow,I'm so shocked after reading this...
i hope everything turns around for you and your family!

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Aly_The_Taco says:
11 Nov, 2011 08:09 PM

I don't like your cousin. I feel so bad for you, I thought my life was bad but I was wrong. I think you might have saved my life. Thank you.

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Jakethesnake says:
20 Nov, 2011 11:48 PM

Yeah right. If all of your friends committed suicide dd u ever think u was the problem? Lol, if everyone I knew committed suicide I'd start to get a complex. Maybe u have fetal alcohol syndrome and life with ur lame stories are so unbearable that they ended themselves. If I wanted a whopper,id go to burger king. Not buying it. We allot problems. Unless u live in Afghanistan than there is no way that u have that many dead friends.peace

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nicky says:
22 Nov, 2011 11:05 AM

Owww...this is really terrible. i cant believe it is all happening to one person. I'm adopted too. My birth mom had tried killing me but luckily, someone stopped her. Then my birth dad is also a mystery. like no one even knew who this woman was. except she gave birth to me on her own?

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Logan says:
25 Nov, 2011 04:47 AM

Its life honey..Don't worry..There is someone named GOD there..Even if it is JESUS,ALLAH OR BUDHA...

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Anonymous says:
28 Dec, 2011 08:09 PM

I read your story trying to understand your situation and what you've been going through.I cant even begin to contemplate what you've been going through day after day. "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". Take every bad situation & view it as an obstacle that you've accomplished. Nothing, and I mean nothing can stand in your way after all you've been through.Study hard & accomplish your dreams because you owe that to yourself. Nothing is impossible, and I wish you the best of luck in your life.

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LoveIsPain says:
04 Jan, 2012 08:04 PM

Really sorry but I dont believe that your friends all committed suicide.

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Mai says:
08 Jan, 2012 10:51 AM

you've been through a really tough time but since has been so hard for you behind the dark wall happiness awaits you so dont give up!

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Jessica says:
04 Feb, 2012 03:58 PM

omg i feel so bad!!always think positive,at least you are alive!ALWAYS stay positive and be happy,if you need a friend just turn the corner on your street and talk to someone, there is a million people on this earth!-or u could go to school then invent something and be a millionair!keep me in mind...........facebook me at jessica reuling

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teresa says:
23 Feb, 2012 04:39 PM

what a sad story of you

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Emmalee says:
01 Apr, 2012 02:18 AM

I have tried to kill miself multiple tomes, and cut everyday for months. My to neatest friends in the world are literally going to do it, and are reallly close. The say it everyday, and my best friend told me she's probably going to this weekend. I am still waiting for a phone call, and I'm cry while I right. I no where you are, but not completely. If all that stuff happened to I would I'll my self. YOU ARE SO STRONG. Stay alive, u are put on this earth for a great reson, if god as giving u all
these problem. Stay strong, u are amazing. Please, write me and tell me what's ping on, and if you are ok. I have a therapist, so maybe your mom would get you one???? Please, email me at emmaleercw@live.com. Please DON'T KILL URSELF!!!

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Gundoslye says:
06 Apr, 2012 01:11 AM

Aloha! rac

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sherin says:
29 May, 2012 02:48 PM

dats so unluky n sad..i wanna b ur frnd..want to tlk to u .. b pstve
add me on fb at Sherin1796@gmail.com

u can evn mail me on ashley17.meyer@gmail.com

i wud love itof u add me

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Peanut butter jelly says:
02 Jul, 2012 09:37 AM

Awh ://

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Brian says:
28 Jul, 2012 02:34 PM

I know how you feel

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Mc Kyla says:
07 Aug, 2012 07:57 PM

OmG! ! ! Hope u are ok!

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Omesh says:
08 Mar, 2013 05:52 AM

I tried mailing to the adress you have here. I just wanna be a friend. You dont deserve all this shit that happened to you. My e-mail is omeshdarkchild@gmail.com. You need to know that people care

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UROCK says:
23 Mar, 2013 07:02 PM

look..if u feel ike life is hard.........make it better..remmember the future doesnt come by itself.. u make it happen....i love u and i'll be there 4 u o mateer what.....just remember..God loves u a lot.....u dont deserve an hard life and i do love u

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Aiman says:
28 Jul, 2013 06:04 AM

Hey im soooooo sorry about you life and if you need someone to talk to you can email ke at aiman.sadiq101@gmail.com Bye and Good luck!

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maha says:
06 Jun, 2014 07:14 AM

this is so sad just never give up stay strong
xoxo maha

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Anonymous says:
17 Feb, 2016 05:01 AM

Life really is very unfair ! Im hanging on too like you ! Hope you find peace

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Kari says:
01 May, 2017 04:47 PM

You've gone thru so much!

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