Forget or Fight?12 Sep, 2010 08:42 AM
I'm a 14 year old girl who is very depressed and wanting to be loved by him...
Now some people would say that 8th grade was too young to have their first love?I, on the other hand, think otherwise. It was a Monday, the second week of school. I was off to my 8th period class, Spanish. We were assigned to sit at a table of four. Grant S sat in front of me. He was very shy and never talked. At least that's what I thought.
The next day when I went to Spanish, I overheard two girls shouting at Grant.
"Why won't you ask her out!!!!" shouted one girl.
"Don't you like her?" yelled the other.
Grant stood for a second, looking like he would explode. Right before he could respond, class started. After school, I came home and went on Facebook to check out my Farmville. I was still a bit curious about the argument in Spanish today. I found out that Grant was online so i decided to ask him about it.
"Hey Grant. Its Audrey from Spanish. I was just wondering what you and those girls were yelling about?" i typed.
"Hey well they were getting me to ask out this girl but my religion wont allow me to date till 16." texted Grant.
I was surprised and thought what religion he was. He replied that he was LDS, or Mormon. I didn't know what that was so Grant explained that he couldn't have caffeine and couldn't date till 16.
Soon after that, the two became great friends. I secretly thought Grant was cute and funny. And i wanted to find out if he felt the same way so I texted him and asked who he liked. He didn't reply for awhile and I worried. He finally told me that he liked me. I was relieved and surprised and said that i liked him back. Soon they were inseparable. All i could talk about was Grant and they stayed up texting all night.
One day when I came home from school, I got a text from Grant asking if they could talk on the phone. They ended up talking for 2 hours and Grant even went to my cheer leading game. After he had asked if I would want to go out with him. Of course I said yes but then complained that he needs to ask me out in person. So the next day in the computer lab, Grant called me from behind and I turned.
"Will you go out with me?" Grant asked nervously.
"What???" I whispered.
"Will you go out with me?" Repeated Grant.
"Of course" I smiled.
The two were finally going out officially. In Spanish they would always flirt and laugh. Sometimes they would get in trouble for interrupting the class. They would even play footsie under the table. They were so adorable together that everyone commented on their relationship. Keeping in mind that Grant was a Mormon. I thought that I was so special for him to be breaking his beliefs just to go out with an average girl like me. They went out for awhile and one night Grant said something that I will never EVER forget.
"Audrey umm i don't know how to say this but i love you. Oh my gosh i have never said that to anyone and what the perfect person to say it to." texted Grant.
"Oh wow um i love you too Grant" I said shocked.
The two became in love. So in love that they were never apart. Grant and I would always flirt and play argue. David(who sat beside me in Spanish) was also a Mormon and he did not approve of Grant breaking his beliefs. Grant didn't care. He was truly in love?or so I thought.
After school,awhile later. I came home to find a long inbox message on Facebook. It was from Grant.
"Audrey?you know how I'm Mormon? and i cant date till 16? well I'm feeling really guilty about that so can we just be friends? i still really really like you but i don't think its right. We are only in 8th grade and I'm 13. I know we haven't kissed or gone on a date but please lets be friends. i still like you. a lot. but this is the right thing." Messaged Grant.
I couldn't believe what was happening. It had been 3 months of pure happiness and it was gone in 4 seconds. He had dumped me on Facebook. That was worst then breaking up over text! I was so upset that I deleted every picture of Grant and didn't talk to him the next day in Spanish. After school Grant texted me 5 times asking me what was wrong and that he was sorry. Finally I answered and asked why he did it at the moment he did. He said that his church friends were making him feel guilty about it.
That night, I cried my heart out(i still do...every night). I really loved Grant. I decided to write a song about how I felt. Weeks went by and Grant and I stopped talking. Soon it was winter break and Grant texted me for the first time in awhile. He confessed that he still thought about me all the time and that he still loved me, I was so happy and decided to show him my song. He said he loved it. Soon after the break i was excited to go back to school. This time Grant was ignoring me. After school he told me he didn't like me anymore. I cried more and more and soon became depressed. Grant was my first and only true love. And I was Grant's first and only love too. I kept writing sad love songs about Grant. I listened to our "song" everyday.(If you're not the one by Daniel Bedingfield) I totally wasn't myself without him. I found out that I was moving to London at the end of the year. And the rest of the year went past like a blur. Soon it was the last week of school and I was arguing with Grant. After he said he had to go, He had told me to look up a song called "You're the inspiration." He said it reminded him of me and it was a love song. He told me that he had always loved me and that he wished he could hug me forever. I almost cried when i heard this. i could not believe what i was hearing.
The next day he had told me that he still liked this girl but he LOVED me?as a friend. I was once again heartbroken and became depressed. The last day of school came quickly and then came my last day in America. I had already texted everyone goodbye except one person. Grant. I had asked him if he loved me deep down at all.
"No." texted Grant.
I was sad and soon i was in London. Now everyone told her that she was gonna find hot guys in London but she kept thinking about Grant?
Its been about 2 months since i moved and i still deeply love him, I always stalk him on facebook and see him talking to other girls and it crushes me. I deeply love him. I want to tell him that i still miss him and love him but i just cant. Also on the last week of school he had told me that when i came back in two years, he would be 16 and he hoped he would deeply care about me so that we could be together. It crushes me literally to see him forget about me and forget about the feelings i deeply have for him. I cry every night and write songs about him. I cant feel happy anymore i just cant:( I miss you Grant i really do:/