like it was just yesterday..01 Oct, 2010 06:05 AM
I was twelve when i had my first love. Alex he was a close friend of mine. He always was there for me when i needed him. Then after school he confessed he loved me. And so did i so we dated for a while then at September 14, 2006 we were official. We were like any couple we loved each other. And always wanted to be together. He always calls me like there's no tomorrow. And he always picks me out and drop me off my house. But on January 12, 2007. It was so different he didn't call he was distant. He was silent and stiff. And i missed the way he says the word i love you when I'll i love he'll say...
Alex: Love you too..
Me: Why? not i love you why just love you?
Alex: I don't want to talk about this your being childish.
He left me and walked away without saying a word i went home crying and when i reached home i expected a call from him then he didn't call at all and i waited all night. and so the following morning after that day no show at my house i walk myself to school. I felt so depressed. Then on our anniversary he didn't say a word at all. We past by each other he didn't even say hi at all. He would just look at me even at lunch. I always went to the bathroom a lot to pull myself together. I kept looking at myself in the mirror and say all these things in my head. It frustrated me. And then unknowingly I collapse in the bathroom floor. This time i was expecting him to show up in the hospital but he didn't. Then when i got back to school i was sad,angry and heart broken where was my Alex gone? Was it me? Did he want to let me go? but he was just afraid too. I couldn't bare talking to him. later that night he called me to meet him at the park.I was so surprised.I went because i was curious on what he wanted to talk about.So i went even i if i didn't want to go because i was afraid he'd let me go.
Me: So what do you want to talk about.
Alex: Well, I know you have a lot on your mind this is your chance to say it.
I started to cry..
Me: I hate you. You left me alone when i needed you. You never called like you use to. You never said a word, You left me in the dark, You kept secrets and when was the last time you said i love u and i feel so pathetic after all this....
Alex: Why do you feel so pathetic?
Me:But after all that i still love you.
He stared at me as i cry. And came closer and hug me tightly.
Alex: I'm sorry i thought pushing you away will not hurt you because...
Me: Because what?
Alex: I'm sick..
Me: What do you mean by sick?
Alex: I have brain tumor.
Me: since when? why did you pushed away why didn't let me in as you are supposed to?
Alex:Since last six month ago. I thought i could fight it. But it's getting worse. So to save you the pain. Because i hate to see you suffer i needed you to forget me. So i stayed away from you. But I can't, I can't even last a week I'm in love with you. And the more i try to ignore you the more i feel i want to just die. I'm sorry baby. I love you. I just want to be with you right now. Let just hug each other like this.
After that day we turn back to normal. We were so happy. He was recovering and everything was perfect. until January 2, 2007.It was my birthday he planned this romantic picnic set up in the park where we made up.I was so happy.I was holding he hand then he told me.
Alex: I love you so much baby.
Me: I love you too.
Alex: Please say forever.
Me:Forever and ever.
Then his hand started to lose up from his tight grip. I look at him screamed his name. He didn't answer i started to cry called an ambulance. But there was nothing they could do. But i could never could forget him forever and ever. And still today i still love him like it was just yesterday..