Elise Harvey27 Feb, 2019 07:24 AM
Dear Love of my Life,
I was twelve. 6th grade. last year before middle school. I had made a deal with myself that year. No crushes. No love songs. No stupid valentines.
5th grade was a disaster. 4th was worse. I just wanted... a break. And that's what I was going to have.
Until I saw your face.
You were not the kind of kid most girls were into, to say the least.
But I was not like most girls. from the moment your piercing blue eyes met my gaze, I knew you were the one.
The one who would't betray me, or ignore me, or force me.
No, you were truly mine.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fight it. You were funny. you were smart. you were a bit insane. I loved insane.
You introduced me to new people. I... Didn't have anyone to introduce you to.
That was the year my best friend ditched me. I don't know how. I don't know why. But her new friend has utterly heartless and excluding. Oh, how I hated that little *****. But she is not important.
We became friends with a girl... I'm going to call her... Brownie.
It was you, brownie and me.
At night, I fantasized my future. Our future. I could hear the bells ringing already... (OK, I was a bit dramatic)
That little bubbly feeling I got whenever I looked at you started to expand rapidly, until I thought I would burst.
So I was gonna do it. I was gonna tell you I liked you. I made a plan. I was going to do it in 8th period, when you and I had Art Class.
first period. Second period. third. fourth. fifth. sixth. seventh...
The bell rang. I sprung from my seat and raced towards Art class.I was the first one there. I waited.
And then you ran up to me.
I inhaled. This was it. I stepped toward you with pride.
I started to speak. You cut me off. You said you had important news.
And then you told me you were dating Brownie.
You had asked her out at the end of seventh period.
I didn't even get a chance.
At that moment I stopped breathing, right then and there.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to run home, collapse on my bed, and kill myself.
You said I looked pale. You asked if I was okay. but your voice was just a distant ringing.
"I'll be right back," I said.
I left him, standing there, lovesick and confused. I made a beeline to the nurse's office.
I threw up.
~10 years later~
I'm the maid of honor at your wedding.
I glance at brownie, happy as hell. That could have been me.
You smile at me. And right then, you realize.
You realize that after all this time, I loved you.
After all this time, I needed you.
And you weren't there.
But it's too late.
"Does anyone object?" The Priest says.
I want to stand up and scream, "ME, ME!", But I remain quiet.
Goodbye,love of my life.
"I do," Says Brownie.
You look at me. I see the sadness and guilt pooling in your eyes.
And I realize, at this moment, after all this time, You liked me too.
My 8th period never came.
But anyone reading this, I hope your 8th period comes.
Here is my advice: Don't wait for 8th period. Tell him First period.
Because you never know when something might happen.
And to you, Love of my life,
Best wishes to you both. she is a beautiful woman. May you live a happy and perfect life.
A life I never could live.
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