My first love23 Mar, 2016 08:17 AM
His smile, if only I could have it . He was ... No He is my first love because I haven't been able to get him out my head and makes me sad to think that he doesn't feel the same or idk.
It all started in 9 grade he was new to my school apparently, everyone knew him expect me. When I first meet him, it wasn't like the best first impression (showing if you screw the first time don't worry it not big deal), it was beginning of the year in 7th period, which I had him on my 2nd period too the teacher put him and me on the same group but he told me to past him the paper and how I didn't know him i handle him the paper and said "here you go" really quiet and he made fun of me because I was quiet saying "are you always this quiet?" he asks all the group "is she always this quiet?". Well of course I got really embarrassed and I didn't like him because of that. I didn't see him attractive, I mean just like a pretty face. What I did noticed is white perfect smile and a tiny little scar next to his pink lip.
Then days when on I didn't really noticed/ actually I really didn't bother to talk to him because I didn't like him I really really dislike him. After few weeks I noticed that he was dating a girl, they look like a cute couple but afterwards I didn't see them no more. I remember that day I ask him "what happened to your girlfriend" and he look pretty sad and he answered "I don't feel good talking about it" and I left it there because I didn't care I was just being a little curious. Afterward we didn't talk at all expect when I drop the colors pencils and he said "good job" and not even in 5 minutes he drops his and I say "good job"(I don't even know how I remember all this). When the second 6 weeks started we got new groups and with my good luck he was in my group, it was him, this girl (that never came to school) and me which were usually always me and him. We started talking and I noticed that he was really interesting and hot and I started to crush on him. This is when I saw him and said (holy he is hot).
I remember once I was walking in the hallway with a huge smile in my face. Into I saw him taking to his ex the one that I told y'all. I felt like shit and my smile disappear they were walking and talking into he saw me see him talking to her I stop walking they stop and we were just looking at each other and I was looking at his at his eyes(his light brown eyes). His ex was so focused because on the corner of my eye I could see her turning to look at me and turning back to look at him. It was about 3 to 5 seconds but it felt like ages. I noticed and I shake my head and start to walk off. But it wasn't the first time that happen the other I was walking with my guy friend to my locker and while he was walking with his friend and I noticed he saw me and at that moment I was talking to my friend but when we see him we just stop talking and just stand there again so all four of us were standing in the middle of the hallway without talking (he look at me with I don't know if it was a sad face or a angry face or upset face) and I turn around to look to my friend and we just walk off. What was really funny was that my friend ask me "are y'all dating" I answered "no we are not (almost laughing) why" he replied "I felt like he was coming to jump at me at any time(laughing his ass out) "
I remember we had a project on the computer lab. I was sitting next to my best friend. The teacher made us go up to pick up a paper that said either read,draw or write. He goes up to me and asked me "hey what did you get?" I replied "write how about you?" He said "write too we are meant to be together" I was dying inside like omg what I was super happy but I replied"oh" and smile at him and I touch his shoulder I walk back to my seat and sit and I was completely good and act naturally but inside I was dying I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling. But my best friend said "we are meant to be together" really loud on a funky voice I replied
whispering "stop(between my teeth)" and I turn to look at him he was looking at me and smiled at me. I don't if heard her but afterward I was jumping walls of happiness.
I remember we have a super weird conversation but i ended up saying"no I just look around the room and look at you because are interested to look at" he replied "don't worry I look at you all the time" and smiled I replied "stocker" laughing. I remember that he smell super good not trying to sound like a creep or nothing but once I stole his sweater omg I want to keep it but no I give it back (I should have kept it). His hugs they just filled me up . One of his best hugs was when I was walking my friend to class which he had with her so that's one of the reason why I would walk her to it. We got to her class and hug her. We saw each other and I raised my hands so he could give me a hug. He told me "you come "so I went he was sitting down, what I love that they were this guy talking to him and he move him out the way so he could hug me. I made sure to hug him really hard., making his face ending up between my boobs so I let him go. when I turn around my other friend gives me a big hug almost dropping me to the ground and he said"watch out you almost kill my girl" I got so red and left the class it was amazing.
We stop talking I hated it so bad. I would try to talk to him as much as I could but the weeks when on and on and it felt like he didn't want to talk to me no more. He dated his girl it seemed that they were really happy and I stop trying. The got alternative for about one month and he came back on the last week of school. I noticed that it was done no other way we weren't going to be more that friends. The last day of school I saw him he saw me and he raised his hands for me to hug him, I hug him really hard almost crying he noticed my eyes were watering and ask me "what wrong" I said "I'm going to miss my friends" and smile.
Sometimes I think it was my fault that we weren't more than friends because I didn't let him know I that I like him, which I think it was real obvious. Or I think he like him but he give up because I didn't tell him I like him? Or did he not like me at all? He made me feel butterflies on my stomach he still does when think of him. Some stories don't have a happy ending and welcome to my life.