Vote +53


This summer

13 Feb, 2011 09:08 PM

Love wasn't in the air the night you unbuttoned my shirt and kissed my skin. No, love definitely wasn't in the air the night we spend in heat of moment, sweating and tumbling and fumbling on your linens.

I can't remember much but I can remember the beginning. The burn of the acid bleeding and gushing past my tongue and down my throat. The noises, and then your silence. The clumsiness and then the awkward kisses.

You had a garden of dark brown hair growing from your scalp with dirt eyes. You had a protruding belly button and clown feet. You smelt like my uncle in his coffin.

You didn't ask me if you could take my virginity. You just assumed I would give it to you. I always wonder where you put it, if you take good care of it and how it is doing. I always imagine you put it in a shiny jar with a sticky label reading "Candace's Virginity", although I could be wrong - you always seemed like a box sort of a person. I imagine you keep it next to your bed and show visitors when they visit, "And this is Candace's Virginity." You'd tell them, sticking your gaunt chest out proudly. They'd applaud you.

I've never made love, you know. Never. I checked afterwords, but love was still missing. I think we did it wrong.

I saw you once more. You were pushing a trolley and the muscles in your arms were thick bands around your bones, they must keep him together, I thought. You didn't see me, blue wide-eyes from the edge of the corner, but I noted everything about you and wrote in my diary that night, filling in gaps.

I noted everything. I noted all that I could remember from that night, and all I got was: He had vodka on his breath, dark tangles of hair, and a bumpy stomach. He is covered in miles of dark skin, like dirt and like soil, and he took me away. He whispered into my ear and it was potent, but I was numb all over and he holding me from falling to my knees. There was a window above us, and a streetlight that shone through saying don't mind me, as it sent its light to his abs. And they were wonderful. I didn't say yes, he didn't ask, he didn't say anything. Maybe he was a mute. But his breath was far too loud for a mute. He took my skin in his teeth and my jeans at my toes, but the rest is a blur or hue and maybe vomit.

Why didn't you say goodbye? Sometimes I think about you. I have to hold my ribcage tight to try and stop my heart from beating too fast and I hold my breath in my palms. Lights outside draw silhouettes of you, you, you and I want that warmth back.

It's an ache, a wonderful ache but a terrible ache. I dream of planting seeds beneath your flesh and having exotic flowers erupt from the soil in a heap of soft petals and green leaves. I pick them all and hand them to you in colorful bunches of lovely. Birds dance around your empty face as I clutch the edges of my dress and I ask, "May I have my virginity back now?"

You never answer me.

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Riham says:
25 Feb, 2011 03:53 AM

this is one of the best story here.. you write really well and have touched my heart

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Justine Kohler says:
13 May, 2011 12:06 AM

i know exactly how that feels i just had the same thing happen to me. the guy i liked used me and took mine and now he doesnt even speak to me. he used me then dumped me to the side and i feel really stupid for it. he didnt even ask if i wanted to but now that he doesnt even speak to me i miss him alot. i am very sorry for what you have gone thru and if you ever want to talk you can always email me and i will reply.

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Jade says:
15 May, 2011 01:24 PM

This was written so beautifully <333 Thank you for sharing this, it's heart breaking as well.

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Destiny says:
18 May, 2011 12:42 PM

This is so sweet, but so sad... :/

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amy says:
20 May, 2011 08:13 PM

awwwwww :<

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bailey says:
30 May, 2011 09:29 PM

I know how you feel.. Same thing happened to me. It was a summer thing. Said he really liked me, told me everything was going to be okay. Then after he took mine, he didn't talk to me for five months, then messaged me asking if I wanted to do it again...

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weirdo says:
02 Jun, 2011 05:14 AM

it's beautifully written.... i'd love to read some more like this from you

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SEMPA-FI says:
06 Jun, 2011 03:23 AM

wel we ladies have to be very careful to you you give it to if you were @ ma state you wil understand better cuz a kiss n caressing and touches does not comit to

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i like pie says:
12 Jun, 2011 06:21 PM

thats nice i did not really understand but i was wondering if at that time was he the love of your life ???? i know something that will help go to youtube and listen to never let you go by miley cyrus

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dont eat raw fish says:
12 Jun, 2011 06:25 PM

that was soooooooo sad im like weeping good story

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sarah spence says:
12 Jun, 2011 06:28 PM

i love jacod k.s

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Sabby says:
08 Jul, 2011 09:41 PM

Wow. Beautifully written. It has really touched me <3 it makes me really think and consider thoughts I have. I absolutely love this

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hap says:
26 Jul, 2011 02:18 AM

the story is metaphoristic, she composes the line beautifully...

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Sarah says:
25 Jul, 2012 10:02 PM

Sad... Most of men is in the same way... Just have buzz with a girl and then,left her to go with an other virgin girl and do the same again... There are a few honest boy... and i somehow experience that... I dont know what to tell u to do... It is too hard to tolerate this terrible happening... Im so sorry... :(

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victoria says:
04 Oct, 2012 03:17 AM

i love this story!

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