Vote -4

The "Happy Mask"

Jill

03 Sep, 2015 10:16 AM

Having everything yet feeling empty is quite a weird feeling. Smiling to others when you feel like you want to cry and just die just eats you up. Saying your 'fine' when really you're not is more than just a lie, it's a weapon that breaks you every time.

Putting on a mask of a happy face on everyday and acting like a happy person is very tiring. Because you know that if you show your true face, you will be hated, you will be beaten up, and you'll be scolded and lectured. People will tell you "You have no right to be sad!", "You have no reason to be tired when you didn't even do a single thing!"

The people around me just don't realize just how hard I work to play the role as the happy-go-lucky child. They never realized how much I've been hurt because of this mask, this emotion called "happiness". I never was happy, I was really just an emotionless brat that followed whatever people wanted me to do, what they wanted me to become. They decided everything for me, and I was used to it.

The mask I wore everyday, the "happy mask", it gets thicker and thicker everyday, making me have a hard time breathing everyday. The risk of me suffocating just gets higher and higher, and once I cant take it anymore, I take off the mask and my true colors show.

"How weak," they would say. Calling me ugly, a fatty, a liar, a weirdo, they would call me a millions of names just because of my true face.

I just wanted to breathe... Did they really want me to die that badly? Did they really want me to suffocate from the lack of air? I was choking on my tears, did they really want me to die? Or was it just because I didn't have the right to live, did they decide that too?


How annoying, these people. To think I'm bound to them by blood. To think that they are the people who should know me best, but don't they know? I'm already dying inside. I've been crying, screaming, begging, yet they never heard anything. They pretend not to. They walk away as if there was nothing there...

The mask that I am forced to wear, the chains that bound me to this bottomless pit, the people above, who are probably laughing at me and don't even give a damn about me, hear my plea, bear my screams, ignore these tears and blood that I shed right in front of you, hate me for all I care, but remember the face of the actress that wore the "happy mask", try saying I love you to the monster you've made her become.

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Phantom says:
24 Sep, 2015 07:39 PM

Love the story I'm 15 male and I'm going through the same thing right now ^^ and for years actually...but anyways I feel better now that I know that I'm not really alone in the feeling

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Avaaxan says:
24 Sep, 2015 10:45 PM

This, sadly, explains my life ;(

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Pepsi says:
25 Sep, 2015 10:03 PM

To whoever wrote this story: what i just read was the best writing ever if you aren't already a writer you must become one, because you have a strong talent for it.

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Zyan says:
28 Sep, 2015 05:07 PM

Hey just wanted to say that I'm going through the same thing right now....I'm 15 and starting high school should be in 10th grade but wanted to do 9th grade again. I've wore that mask many times before and still do and not express my true colors out in public but instead in my room secluded from the outside world. I still feel this way and I don't know how to control myself anymore...I haven't cut myself before but I've been curios on how it is but I'm afraid of it being addictive.

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Zyan says:
28 Sep, 2015 05:47 PM

I'm 15 and started middle school. I'm going through the same situation but maybe have more support than others but I wish there was someone out there I could relate to more...I've wore that mask for years now and haven't shown my true colors yet.but I feel like everyday I'm at the breaking point. I don't want anyone to know how I feel on the inside I just want them to see the disguise I wear in order to keep the people I care about by me instead of away.

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Casey says:
29 Sep, 2015 03:47 AM

I understand this feeling everyday of my life actually, I do truly understand how you feel. Your never gonna be alone in this world I promise you definitely.

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Prince Jha says:
05 Oct, 2015 02:36 PM

it was awesome written.
I really loved.
it was heart touching n even related to me.

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Ally says:
10 Nov, 2015 07:41 AM

I'm glad you're annoyed at the people who don't notice you. At least you're strong enough to see their mistakes as well. But, it's your fault for putting up such a fake, fake front. But you attitude just can't let me hate you. I really hope that in the future people will come to accept the real you. Tip for your life: Stop putting up a front to please people. Yeah, you might not be popular and stuff, but at least you suffer less. You bring yourself down with each day you aren't true to yourself. You know, sometimes it's nice to be different. So open you f*cking eyes and see reality.

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Danelle says:
14 Dec, 2015 05:49 AM

That is my life except my mask is so thick it almost became reality.

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Fanya Amendy says:
25 Jun, 2017 12:01 PM

I feel the same way. I'm 15. And i'm always wearing that Fucking mask. They never know that i was hurt, and they never care. I always feel alone. I'm always care about people around me but nobody's care about me. Nobody want to heard my story. Nobody want to know about my feeling. I don't know why this happend to me?. Why everyone ignoring me?.

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