Vote +13

Dear Agony Let Me Go!


20 Dec, 2013 10:16 PM

To Everyone I Knew,

I don't know what to feel anymore. One minute he's nice, the next he ignores me and acts as if I'm not there. I feel confused and hurt by his actions yet I knew what to expect all along.

It hurts to be the wise one who gives useful advice to others yet the one who cannot benefit from that advice. I am beaten down by those questions which echo in my head, exploding with every heart beat. What do i do now?

I hide away my suicidal thoughts, so no one knows when to expect me gone, dead. I won't tell anyone. If I die, I'll leave alone in silence. It would be better off that way. He wouldn't care though, so I might aswell ignore him back, when he holds my dead hand, I won't reply.

Those screams for help linger in my soul. That soul which is dark and cold. That heart, bruised by the feelings which bashed it around in my chest. That face, damp from tears which trail down leaving scars on my skin. It hurts to be the rejected one, the one who cannot find a world of fragile peace. Yet the one who has to keep a smile on their face and act as if everything's fine. I don't want to hurt anyone by my thoughts, I just want to find a solution. So far it is heading in the direction of the never ending sleep.

I wish I could find someone who would grab those pills away from my hand, take my bleeding wrists and hug me tight. Someone who would whisper in my ear that everything will be fine. Yet the one who i expected to do that has gone and stabbed a knife straight into my heart.

I decided to let him go. But I know that however much i try, he won't be erased from my mind completely. Those burnt memories will stay in my mind. Flashbacks with bother me, tears will fall.
There will be many days when I will wake up at night thinking of him. Then there will be one day where I will wake up to him gone. Or he will wake up to me gone.

If today was my last day I would not regret anything I did or said in my life. Those events were meant to be there to make me stronger and better. But even though I wish I would have said "No" to him and regret ever saying I love him, I still wouldn't change it. He made me stronger, he gave me hope and those happy moments to live by. His smile is the brightest I ever seen, and his eyes as blue as the sky.

I hope that once I die, he will remember me by the things I did. I don't want his hatred towards me to burn endlessly. I did no harm to him and nor will my death.

Just remember that if I die, I want to be remembered for who I am. My story, my past, my personality and my words. May this always remind you of me. If I die then inform those who are close to me, those at Shadows of Mine.
May the fragile world of peace embrace me in sleep which will keep me safe from harm. I love him and I will never forget him. I will wipe those tears when they do fall, I won't regret those things I said.... I won't regret those things I said.


Vote +13
Next Story >>


Post a Comment
profile pic
Firefly says:
28 Jan, 2014 07:57 AM

Look girl your strong dont fall on ur knees

profile pic
a friend says:
28 Jan, 2014 03:00 PM

let go. there are people around you that still love you and should not be forgotten, you just need to open your heart out to them and break that invisible wall between you and them.If an egg is broken by outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside. use your heart, but take your brain with you!

profile pic
marie says:
19 Feb, 2014 02:53 AM

awww I hope your ok I feel the same as you but I don't think killing yourself is the answer even though it seems easy
try and be strong xxx

profile pic
CrystalWolTear says:
21 Feb, 2014 05:22 PM

hank you, all these comments really do lift my spirits. Its good to know that there are people out there just like me, and I can count on their support.

profile pic
anonymous says:
06 Mar, 2014 06:59 PM

love is beautiful but people are often not.. you have a beautiful heart dea unlike most... save it for a gud reason or it would be a great loss to mankind.

profile pic
CrystalWolfTear says:
08 Mar, 2014 12:24 PM

Thank you hun. Your comment has brought me close to tears.

profile pic
Diana says:
14 Mar, 2014 01:38 AM

I agree with you and I thought about suicide but then I thought is this person I don't care about gonna make me leave my family...... NO OF COURSE NOT don't do it i promise u will regret it!

profile pic
CrystalWolfTear says:
17 Mar, 2014 05:29 PM

There are many days I feel that taking my life is the only possible option. This sadness overwhelms me when I think about my close friends and my crush. There are so many thoughts and questions going through my mind. Will he ever care? What will everyone say once they see that empty space where I used to be? Will there be funny moments when I'm not around? (because I'm so clumsy).

But I feel the pain they would feel if they knew I was gone for good and its usually this pain that brings me back to where I stand.

profile pic
Keepwishing says:
06 Apr, 2014 10:04 PM

Love is hard... But hold on... Ull get through it... Maybe not today or tomorow,,, but u will throughout time,,,
Stay strong

profile pic
Joseph Mosses says:
13 Apr, 2014 01:53 PM

I suffer 4year for the one I love..4year of sadness.4year of fail my study.4year of heart broken.4year of pain the one you love does not love or he change her heart BT I never think of killing my self because I have many thing to live for
My God help you

profile pic
Dine says:
07 Aug, 2014 10:38 PM

Oh how I love the way you write! You described the feelings, the hurts and the pains so clear! I always hate these kind of stories like this but you changed it!!!! Thanks for writing!

Your Comment

Do not post other site's link, it will be considered as spam