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Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional

Arefeen Mansur

03 Feb, 2011 07:40 PM

Most people have occasional ups and downs in their life. I have that too. What I have is a lot more severe than just the occasional ups and downs. When some unfortunate events occur to me, I feel worthless. Changes occur to me rapidly. I loose appetite, sleep and interest on everything. Eventually, I think of cutting myself or loose hope of being alive. When I am happy, I feel like the happiest person on the earth. I feel like telling the world I am happy. Pretty sure, I have some abnormalities in me. But, am I the only one? I feel that there are other people like me who lives around me with abnormalities more or less.

Cutting is an emotional disorder. I am writing today because I have suffered through it. Cutting is the intentional act of harming on oneself with or without suicidal intend. Even if it is without suicidal intend, later it may develop into one.

I used to cut myself a lot to relieve stress and purify my body. Because I felt worthless and undesirable, it was a way to cope with my negative emotion. I was more into cutting when I was neglected by my loved ones. I would get upset when she considered me stupid. Those visible cuts on my hand and wrist gave me a feeling of being in control. It felt like I was ruling my life, not letting my life to rule me. Cutting was like a drug to me, the more I cut myself, the better I felt. I became stronger, eventually not feeling any pain of my wounds. It was an unhealthy coping mechanism. Those marks are still present in my wrist and hands, however someday they will fade away. But the pain I have in my heart, and every now and then rises up, how will I heal from it? ?

Tags: Pain, Cut, Suffering, Help
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Annonymous says:
12 Mar, 2011 12:35 PM

Still have the scars on my wrist and down my arms...and legs...

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Hannah Ellis says:
08 Apr, 2011 07:35 PM

When all hope is lost don't give up. If you ever need someone to talk to or complain to or whatever. You can email me at I'll help you through this if you want.

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Morgan says:
13 Apr, 2011 09:22 PM

The only way to keep going after that is to let go, push it out of your mind, and move on.

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Ash says:
11 Aug, 2011 09:14 PM

Ive nearly died from doing that a couple times actually. But I guess that's because that was my intention. It's been 4 years and I still have to answer to people as to why I have unbelievable disgusting huge scars on my wrist and I hate it. Cutting isn't the answer to anything...

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Victoria says:
13 Aug, 2011 08:09 AM

I am just like you. I've had changes throughout my life that, when I tell people, they ask me "How can you stand to put a smile on your face after that?" I still have scars, I still think about my exes, & my past, I still get upset from time to time. I do, however, try to focus on the happy. And I'm one of those people that can act like everything is perfect, even when it clearly isnt. I have a quote for youu..
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end." <--Think about that. It's my favorite quote, it's helped me get through a lot.

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Bianca says:
26 Oct, 2011 06:32 PM

your story moved me i cut really bad too i cut so bad that i blackout sometimes i try to stop but it is very hard. my advice to you is just try to do something else when you feel sad like get a diary or buy something that makes u happy to get your mind off it. be happy i hope you get through this :)

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Medsfgsdgfdfg says:
04 Jan, 2014 07:17 AM

Stop being an asshole and try to be honest, guys like you are ruining people's life, sucker

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