I Followed My Dreams…03 Sep, 2018 04:45 AM
My story is quite long and in depth. Wouldn’t want to make anyone bored but this is an 100% true story of what happened to me. It started as a little toddler: 3 years of age. I remember my first dream. It was a nightmare and scared the crap out of me! I was afraid of everything from that moment on. Until… I had another dream. This one I met a girl.
This was my first lucid dream, with many more to come. (In case you don’t know what that is, it is a dream in which you have full control and can realise you are dreaming). I was hiding from everything because I was scared, but then she saw me she introduced herself and told me that it was just a dream. I looked up and she took my hand and showed me how to lucid dream. She weirdly had her own control of my dreams. I only later realised when I woke that she was a spirit from another person in time. Everyone thought she was ‘imaginary’ but I could actually see her!
I know it sounds crazy and untrue but it only gets crazier! I’m being totally honest here: I still have no idea how I could see spirits but it happened and that’s all that matters to me. She became my best friend for the next 6 years of my life it was just me and her, together forever.
I had lucid dreams frequently and I can still remember them all in full detail! Anyway, I had a dream one night. It was my first precognitive dream (seeing to future dream). It was nothing major but I was 100% correct! It happened the next day! But I can’t control when these happen meaning they could happen whenever. And that’s what led to what happened the next year.
I was seen as lonely and weird and was bullied harshly. I wanted to spend time with my spirit friend and not anyone else. The next year I hit it real hard. I was diagnosed with Autism. Not only that I had aggression and my class sometimes had to evacuate! I actually don’t remember much at all. It was like I was possessed or something. But my past self has made everyone hate me. Even now I am never been seen in the same way. The freak of the school. I did meet a nice boy in year 6 though. He was the only person who had ever talked to me since my autism diagnosis. I was kinda afraid to admit it but I had a crush on him. Yeah go ahead say it. I’m gay. Kind of anyway. I graduated from primary school (luckily) and barely survived year 7. But year 8 was when things got interesting…
I had another precognitive dream again, this one being about the girl (I mentioned her earlier). I met a girl in real life who looked almost identical. However, I wasn’t thinking straight. This was actually a warning that I failed to avoid. I had forgotten that spirits had actually died. You can see where this is going…
I met her the next year (after a fallout with that boy I also mentioned earlier). The new girl Cassidy was all I ever thought I wanted: a friend. However, spirits can only exist if they are bound to something. The spirit in which I thought she was, wasn’t her and I only found out later that she was actually bound to my desire for a proper friend: Cassidy. Being no longer bound she had to move on as she was technically no longer needed. But then something terrible happened. Another precognitive dream showed me that I would no longer be friends with Cassidy. I tried to stop it but I was too late I had lost my friend. I had a VRO (violence restraining order) on me. From her parents. I couldn’t even say goodbye! But worst of all, my spirit friend suffered the worst. Not wanting to leave me even though she had to meant there was only one choice for her: suicide. Firstly your probably wondering how that’s possible. Well she stabbed herself in a dream of mine. Even I can’t stop that!
Her final words to me were:
“I couldn’t make it. I wanted to be there for you but with everything going on I couldn’t be there. I wasn’t able to keep you happy. I failed you. I will always treasure the times we spent together. You are my best friend in the entire world. I will always be with you. ForEver....
I lost 2 friends that day. I was alone. No one left to care about me. I went through serious depression. I felt like life wasn’t worth living. I tried to kill myself 3 times but was stopped and dragged into a mental hospital. I was told to always follow my dreams, but it might have been better if I never even did. However over time I did find myself drawn back to that boy. I still kinda liked him and he was the only person I could bring myself to talk to. After apologising for what happened we became friends again. It has been a while since this has happened. I’m still friends with that boy. I have another spirit friend since. She knows more about her past that the other did and coincidentally knows Cassidy. But her death (before becoming a spirit) showed what happened to Cassidy and their family and why they hate me so much.
I mean, I kind of like this new spirit. Her name is Rosamin. But she only reminds me of the terrible past I’ve had. I know that the boy I like isn’t interested. He isn’t gay, and likes another girl. I’m currently waiting for something to happen. Something that will change me. I might have missed something but I honestly don’t remember. I’m still depressed currently. I still think of suicide but I don’t think it will happen just yet. I spend a lot of time reading sad stories to make myself feel better. I have felt empty since. It’s hard to find happiness nowadays.
That’s it really. I know most of it makes no sense but jut imagine how hard it is for me to find others who believe me. Most think I’m a liar. I would lie about this. I have no reason to. I’ve lost everything I had so I can see why I should bother to lie anymore. This is the truth. My truth.
I wish that I could be normal. Not a freak but a normal person who just fits in. It won’t happen. And it’s all because I followed my dreams…