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Why?

Kenley

15 Feb, 2018 02:50 AM

I had a crush. It happen this year. I'm in 6th grade-aka first year in middle school. His name Michael. I called him Kevin because that was his middle name. We are in the same class.
I beat up boys. He was the most common one. I beat up most of them because I was stronger than them.
One day for some reason I started having feelings for him. I don't know why. My friends would make fun of me. Nobody liked him because he had bags under his eyes. But it all changed when he got glasses. He looked a lot cuter. Or my friends called him A Dad.
One day after school everyone was waiting for their bus to be called. My friends started to talk about how I liked him. He was their too. I told them I didn't. They thought I did. They talked about me in high school asking him out. Then the worst thing happen. He told me straight up in my face he didn't like me. I tore apart.

I wanted to run to the bathroom and cry my heart out but I didn't . We ride the same bus. The next couple of weeks I didn't talk to him. I felt dead.

One day our teacher was trying to get Anna kicked out of our class. She always talked. Kevin liked her. He told me.
That hurt worst. She blamed herself talking on him. She was embarrassed of her ADHD. Who would do that.
Still today we're in 6th grade. He calls me bad names like fagget, fat, slut and a man.
But I have one question. Why? Why do I still like him? Anna blamed it on him? How does he like her still?
I promise myself to stand up for him. I don't know why. I'll never know. Will he ever love me? Probably not. Because I'm fat. No boy will understand the pain he caused me.
I never wanted to get married or have children when I got older. They would ruin my career.

My brother told me not to get a boyfriend. I see why. I started feeling depressed. I started listening to sad music. It made me cry. My stomach would hurt. It wouldn't stop either. Today I'm better and still like him. But he doesn't like me. Why? Why not? Where's my true love? Will I have one. -kenley

Tags: Hurt
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