Should I let go12 Sep, 2010 12:39 AM
I am a Flip who stayed in U.S. for 2 years.
I went back to Philippines for some reasons.
Well, here's my story...
I've known this guy for half year and he's a family friend.
He's name Brian. He's half flip - caucasian/white. He's 2 years older than me. I'm 16 Hmm.. From the start, I know that he really don't like me, but I'm just pretending that I don't know about it cause I do really like him so much. I tried my best just to get his attention, but didn't work out. He's such a bragger. (that's the only thing that I didn't like about him) Cause to me he's the perfect guy ever. even My family do likes him. sucks for me though at that time, cause I have my former boyfriend. (but we broke up though for some reasons, so forget about him) I was so silly when I was in S.D. (talking back to my parents, hanging out late with my ex and friends & so on) so my mum deported me (lol) to Sta. Clara. There, I had a job, baby sitting my nephews. Before we went to Sta. Clara. I broke up with my ex, cause My Family don't like him. He's a white guy (that's not the reason) its only because he can't handle my parents plus he's such a stubborn. for my parents he's a B.I. so yeah. I did a forced break up with him. weeks past, I don't know what the heck came into brian's mind, but he just sent me a random message on my myspace. it says... He missed my silliness. Well, I was all so morose cause of our break up, and all i was doing there at S.C. was to baby sit and go to class only in weekends so it's pretty boring in weekdays. so since the day he sent me a message, we have a non stop talk. guess till' we develop to each other. (he's comforting me,& I was comforting him to bout his past. I appreciated it, though All I ever wanted is for him to realized that I've fallen for him.)
One Fucking worst day ever,
I think My mum was all going insane, just sent me in Philippines.
I was all so shock. She's really stupefying. she just brought me to the Airport. At frisco int'l airport. she sucks. I was all so mad traveling all alone. :'( at the airplane, whole 16 hours I was crying baby. I thought I'll get to see my almost lover, Brian.
Sooo, Brian and I were really despondent. All we have to do is to wait for next year. Patience is a virtue right? and love can wait. so we both waited. (well, were together though at that time.) distance don't matter, love is all that matters...
(5 months from now)
Here goes the main predicaments of ours...
Talking about our past,
these past few days, I've notice that He keeps asking me questions that out of our topic. (You know, I'll tell it directly.. Talking about what would might happen if he lose me. W.T.F.) I was so worried and still whenever he ask me those stuffs. letting go, setting free, space and etc.
They say, girls, found out everything so you better be faithful if shes serious.
and guess what I found out???
He's still giving a shit to his ex although its 3 years ago though. Darn. Suck this life. Now I know why the fucking hell he wanted some advices from me/kept me asking questions.. CAUSE ALL HE EVER WANTED IS TO GET THAT WITCHY BITCH BACK. such a freaking jerk. I couldn't help myself but to cry at that time, I found out those stuffs.
He Tried to explained everything, but TOO LATE..
( but really I'm not that mean, but that witchy bitch really looks like a witch.)
a month past, I heard to My friends there at cali who happens to be his friends too, that his almost ruining his life cause of losing me.
I.D.G.A.S. but days come and go, but my feelings for him are forever. so I forgave him and just forget all of the things happened. I love him so much to forgive and forget.
But you know what guys...
Fuck my life, Till now I'm still updated to his ex. that witchy bitch is still flirting with him. I'm not dumb to take chances.
1 is good, 2 is enough 3 is really STUPIDITY.
I already said GOODBYES for a hundred times.. he still doesn't want me to go...
I'm just afraid to lose him too,
I might be go all crazy if I lose him.
but the thing is.. now, were hundred miles apart and that wicth that getting into my nerves is his classmate 7 out of 7 classes of Brian.:( it means she'll get to see him for almost everyday though. :'( I have a trust on him and faith its just that.. I'm worried knowing what happened to us in the past. that girl almost ruin our relationship. dayuuuum :(
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, BUT rather experimental at heart.. I'm currently testing the limitations of how much more I can take..
what do i do? should i just stick with him or let go?
I can't take it anymore. I just wanna be happy...
with him.. but knowing he'll be happier with her..