Vote +40

I just didn't know.

Madeline

23 Sep, 2014 07:38 PM

I met her in second grade. She was cute and funny and nice and everything that a best friend could be. By the way if you're wondering, no I'm not a guy writing about a girl, I'm and girl writing about her best friend. We were in the same class and our teachers put us together for a project. And that's pretty much how we met. I have so many good memories with her. She was amazing. we grew older, and soon started middle school. She was becoming beautiful, and sometimes I was so jealous. She always got all the guys, and was probably the most perfect, most luckiest girl.

In 8th grade, something changed. We weren't hanging out as much, and we got into small little fights. I thought it was just whatever. Soon enough we started high school. She started doing things I thought she'd never do. In french class, she met a girl whom she called her "best friend." I realized she was drifting away from me. My birthday came and a couple of my friends went to the mall. She and another one of my friends forced me to do so many things I'm not even gonna say. She started doing the craziest things. I went crazy too, trying to be a good friend and tell her to make good choices. She yelled at me:" What kind of friend are you?! Stop acting like my mom!" I shouted back and left: " Fine! I didn't really care anyway!" But I just didn't know. We didn't talk after that. She didn't tell me half the things she should've. I just didn't know. Or i wouldv'e pushed her to tell me. If i would've knows what is going on with her, I would've said something, done something. But i just didn't know.

Monday, at school, in the morning. They call all the classes into the gym for an assembly. "Suicide kills not one, but everyone around her." The walls had posters with those words in huge bold letters. Who commited suicide? I didn't know yet. We were ushered into the gym, where there were pictures of her. WAIT WHAT?! SINCE WHEN HAD SHE BEEN THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE?! That was my best friend in those pictures! But.. wait what? She was always so happy and cheerful! The principal told us many things that I just didn't know. She was beaten and raped daily by her father. I knew her mother had ran away long ago, I just now realised it was probably because of the father. She cut her wrists, she never told any of us?! Even when she was younger, even when we were best friends.

She was found hanging from a rope in her closet. I remember her closet. It was filled with the cutest shirts and prettiest dresses. She looked so happy and always smiled, who could ever figure that this was what was going through her head? She never told anything to anyone. One of her notebooks for school was covered in dried blood, the whole page was red. If i knew, I would've told someone, done something, saved her.
But i just didn't know.

And i feel horrible for it. Yeah, I admit we weren't friends anymore, but we had been friends forever, and it wasn't possible for me to not cry for someone who had always been there for me when i needed her. I would've done something, but i just didn't know. I just. Didn't. Know. !!!

So please, if any of you are experiencing any of this, thoughts of suicide, cutting, rape, abuse, ANYTHING. DO. NOT. BE. AFRAID. TO . GO. TELL. SOMEONE. It seems selfish to talk to someone about that kind of thing, but it will get better, ONLY if you talk to someone about it, whether it be a friend, a counselor, a trusting adult, ANYONE. So please, don't kill yourself. You may not realize it, but when you leave, you take many, many others with you.

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nadia theodore says:
15 Oct, 2014 04:00 AM

so sad and yet so real

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allysa reed says:
22 Oct, 2014 08:01 AM

oh my gosh, you must of been so sad! i am so proud of you for being so brave to overcome that great grief for losing your best friend. i will always be supporting you. good luck.

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Madeline says:
23 Oct, 2014 03:52 PM

thank you so much this was actually pretty recent and its bren hard for me but im trying to pull through. and thank you so much :)

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Tylynn Sinay Jee says:
23 Oct, 2014 05:47 PM

I can not imagine people that go though this, it's so sad. I really hope that people who go though this find someone to talk to.

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bhaskarraj says:
04 Nov, 2014 12:07 AM

very nice

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Galaxy says:
09 Nov, 2014 06:02 PM

I've been thinking about this lately and it's because of my friend at school, (not saying name) she MAKES me CRY every DAY. I wonder if she truly is a friend. Because it doesn't feel like it.

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Madeline says:
10 Nov, 2014 10:13 PM

Aww I'm so sorry! But always keep in mind, no one deserves to be treated like that, so if you honestly think she's not a true friend, then the best thing you could probably do is stop hanging out with her. You can still keep in contact, but there's still so many people out there! You can always go make more friends :) ~Madeline <3

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erin says:
11 Nov, 2014 09:33 AM

is this even true

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charlotte says:
11 Nov, 2014 09:34 AM

is this bull? or did it acctually happen?

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Madeline says:
12 Nov, 2014 02:56 AM

No it actually happened. ~Madeline

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faiza says:
03 Jan, 2015 02:21 PM

so sad .im very sad by reading this story its too hard that she had put up with this rubish.:-(

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grace says:
09 Feb, 2015 11:10 PM

This is too sad... Pray for her thats the best thing you could do for her.

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Aubree says:
23 Feb, 2015 05:49 AM

I'm so sorry.

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I-won't-say-my-name says:
15 Mar, 2015 11:20 AM

I am with Madeleine. Believe in yourself and if you do feel like this, tell someone. I have experienced all of these, and I was ready to kill myself, but I screamed it all out on my friends and teachers!! They helped me loads and gave me support for it. I was bullied for years yet I didn't realise there was someone to help me out there. There was though. People looked out for me all the time 24-7,still do now. So go and tell someone. And remember, there is always someone out there to help, even if it doesn't feel like it. :D

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Jennifer says:
31 Oct, 2015 12:06 AM

I hate how people like that exist.
People who rape and kill.

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Queenie says:
25 Dec, 2015 03:53 PM

It was too sad.
Feel sorry .
"I hated when I saw,Read,watched Movie that
is being raped .because it just felt my heart how
violent people are.." huhuhuhuhu..</3

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