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Goodbye means I love you

Monstrous Angel

16 Aug, 2014 03:35 PM

To be right doesn't mean to be happy...
I didn't expect to meet you in unexpected time. When I saw you, you're smiling and it made my day. You were the perfect example of my ideal man. I want to be near you yet I am afraid. I want to be your friend yet I can't utter any word when you're near me. I was so shy then, I didn't know what to say. When it's time to say goodbye, I heard your laughter’s and its music to my ears.

After a year, we met again. My feelings for you were still there. I guess it became deeper. I really liked you a lot. I liked how you talk, how you smile, and how you laugh. When you saw me, you hugged me and treated me as your close friend. Oh! I felt heaven. I wanted to hug you back but I can't. I felt like I am trembling. I didn't want that to end.
I noticed that you were really like that to all. You hugged everyone and treated them nicely too. I was bitten by the reality that I am not special after all. Yet this heart of mine was really hard-headed. No matter how much I've tried to stop this feeling, yet it won't.

Then one night you just hugged me with no reason at all. You just said you're thankful to know someone like me. Someone who accepted you for what you are. I felt great when you said those words. Somehow, you gave me hope. Hope that maybe I am special.
I am asking GOD to forgive me for wanting you. You belong to him. Loving you is forbidden. How could I love someone who can never be mine no matter what I do? Then again, he really wanted to test my faith. We met again, working together again. During those times, I really wanted to hold your hand. I really wanted you to stay with me. I really wanted to take you away from him, away from them, but I just can't. I witnessed how happy you were with them, when you served, when you were able to help them, when you carried those little kids who needed your attention. I can't be so selfish.

Who can blame me? You showed me your kindness. You were there when I was hurt by someone. You were a believer of my capacity. You encourage me. You gave me your time. You've been a good friend. I fall for you deeply.

Then one day, we were able to realize. We started to keep our distance. We can never be too closed. We started to avoid sending messages to each other. We started to focus more on each responsibility. Never had it happened that I didn't think of you. Before I went to bed, I thought of you. When I'm alone, I thought of you. Why I can't just forget you?
There were times that I wanted to call you. I wanted to talk to you how my day was. I wanted to let you know that I missed you but I'm afraid, afraid of what might be the answer. What if you will say you missed me too? Do I even deserve to have you? Am I good enough?
But I guess this love will remain hidden, when I look at you now, I know I made the right choice. No matter how painful it is, I know I did the right thing. I will love you always even though I can never have you.

Tags: Love, Forbidden, Sad, Pain
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Vanshika says:
25 Aug, 2014 08:09 PM

Love is a feeling that is alive in our heart till our death...I also loved some one so truly that I cannot love without him....I still love him alot he too loves me alot we both are in relationship and we have been together since 1 year...The lve he gaved me till yet was the heaven....he loved me so truly that no one in the world any boy can love his girlfriend...I cant say n I cant express that how much I love him...though we are far away....we can't meet....we can't talk on phone calls regularly still the love between us is till the eternity...I love u aloooot my sweetheart u r my without u is more worst than the hell....can't live without u...I love u so much means so much my love...In last words I could only say that till the day of my death n after that I will love u this much that in my every life god will make u only n only for me....GN sweetheart LOVE U ALOT...!! .....:(

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Monstrous Angel says:
26 Aug, 2014 07:46 AM

To Vanshika: Thank you so much. I hope that you can still open your heart for a new love because LOVE is a GIFT from GOD. We can share it.

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Nora says:
27 Aug, 2014 07:04 PM

I know what U mean.. it's really difficult when U love someone and U can't tell him..U feel as U have a lot of secrets in your small heart and no one can hear them!..

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Courtney says:
27 Aug, 2014 08:51 PM

I know how that feels it really sucks and it happens to me all the time.

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kiru says:
31 Aug, 2014 06:08 AM

no one can express there feeling from any combination of 26 words thats called love

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Falanika says:
08 Sep, 2014 12:52 AM

i like this website

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Falanika says:
08 Sep, 2014 12:53 AM

this website seem's intresting i have been going through a lot of things at home whic is pretty saddy

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Monstrous Angel says:
11 Sep, 2014 07:08 AM

@Falanika: I hope you will be okay. Yes, this website helps you realize that you're not the only one who feel sadness or who undergone such trial. Just be strong.

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Imtiyaz Alam says:
25 Nov, 2014 05:28 PM

I also love someone from my class7.I propose her in class 9 and she accecpt my proposal after 5 months and left me after my class 10 final examination.but i still felt 4 her.why all girls r same? why they didnt understand boys feelings

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Monstrous Angel says:
27 Nov, 2014 06:56 AM

@Imtiyaz Alam :Not all the girls are like that. I am also a girl and I believe that there are still a lot of girls like me whose willing to love unconditionally. Maybe she's just not into you.

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