Painful Love.
Nuha
03 Jan, 2014 07:12 AM
Some of you probably have gone through this, But so far ive been feeling alone.
Well, There was this boy he was 17 at the time and i was 16. He was in my class and ive had a crush on him, id be so stupid and ask people about him. later on he adds me on Facebook, when i first saw it, the butterflies in my stomach, i felt like i could just float on cloud 9, that's how happy i was.
He said "hey" and i replied with a hey back.
we started talking more and more each day and say hey in person and have small talks. i was so happy to have him add me. I will admit. i wasn't the most beautiful girl he has seen. he was attractive, i was pretty big and i was just a mess, an insecure mess so i never thought he would like me.
Days past, and than i receive a message on Facebook. when i checked it out. my heart dropped. i was shocked. he asked me out. April, 7, 2012. there was no way that someone so attractive could date someone like me, i thought. could it be true? or is he messing around with me? so much was going through my mind.
OF COURSE! I said yes! who wouldn't? i mean, it was the happiest day of my life. it made me forget all the problems at home, the bullying and all the drama i went through. i actually felt happy for once in my life that i have someone who actually likes me for me.
He treated me so beautifully. like in this generation, i never knew there would be guys like this.
After that, we started fighting, and we kept breaking up. so our relationship was on and off.
I lost a lot of weight, that's what happens when i go into depression. I fell into depression when we weren't together but he went out with another girl. she was skinnier and prettier than me.
i felt so ugly, fat and i just felt like i was worth nothing.
so i didn't eat, i starved myself.. i was 160 and i am now 128 pounds. i still feel like i need to lose more.
While he was with her. he told me he still loves me and he can never forget about me.
i believed him because i was the reason why we broke up and i was the reason he found someone else.
He broke up with her and got with me.! i was happy once again and i worked hard to keep our relationship strong.
we made a year and a few months.
than again, it all fell apart.
i would cry every night. i ask myself "what did i do to deserve this?"
all i ever wanted was to find love and when i do, i get heartbroken.
He began talking to his ex, and he would look at other girls a**. he asked a girl if he could touch her a** and she allowed him and he did it.
he wanted to pierce his ex girlfriends vagina.
I was so disgusted and disappointed.
all i ever wanted was to make his dad proud, for him to graduate, for him to stop lying.
to quit weed and ciggs.
i wanted him to grow up and realize what life and love really is but he was so lost in this generation. i failed to do that.
i broke up with him, i let him go.
i was tired of being lied to. a year and 8 months..he let that go.
He made feel like it was all my fault. he made me believe he loved me. i risked my life for him, i gave him the world..and he threw me like im nothing. there's not one day that passes without me crying, people say im losing too much weight but i still feel like im the ugliest person.
He was my first love, and i feel like he killed it all for me. January, 3, 2014
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Comments
Post a Comment13 Jan, 2014 08:29 AM
so sad to hear....
25 Jan, 2014 07:42 AM
Gurl Me Went Through Dat Tooo .
But Now I Ain't Got No Worrys Shit Just Got Live Now
11 Feb, 2014 10:57 AM
Wht is her wieght now???
09 Mar, 2014 05:23 PM
Hey gal so sad to hear abt it..just one thng he does nt deserve your love if he does he will come back to you...
26 Mar, 2014 04:30 PM
Hon, that guy is a (bleep)!!!!! He seriously is a motherfugger (from An Abundance of ! Katherines) if he touched other girls' butts. If a guy did that to me, I would slap him as hard as the nerve he has to mess with me. So, like, you should go to his house with some friends and throw eggs and toilet paper at it.
03 Apr, 2014 02:49 PM
Hey girl. I feel like that too. See my ex broke up with me within 4 months but i have love him still i felt like theres no where to go. But i founded a way to cope it was church. Church helped me a lot. And plus he doesnt know was he's missing. Stay Strong.
22 Jun, 2014 02:49 AM
sooo sad...gal go ahead in lyk...there is more thing ahead of u..feel sad for u....:(
20 Sep, 2014 06:22 PM
I'm sorry that you had to put up with a guy like that but guys get hurt in relationships too, girls think we just hurt them and it isn't true. i was 14 at the time and me and this girl had been together 3 years and she moved away to Alaska, i sent her up everything that she needed and all and she gave me news of her coming home so i set up a date for us to go on and then school started back we were good for about a month and then everyone was telling me that they slept with her and i refused to believe it because i was deeply in love with her and didn't think she would do that to me, well i showed up one day and saw her making out with my cousin and grabbing his d*** so i turned and walked away, later that day i was heading to the restroom and i heard her and him in the stall f******. she came up to me later and tried to kiss me and tell me how much she loved me and i told her what i heard and saw and she slapped me, called me a liar, and broke up with me because i didn't believe that it wasn't her when i saw it and heard it, but after a few days we got back together because i was blinded by love, a week later she screwed my best friend and then she broke up with me and moved away again and said that it was all my fault, it doesn't just happen to girls guys catch it bad to… especially the good ones
23 Feb, 2015 05:27 AM
he dont deserve you, stop starving yourslef!!! im sure you are can do better ;)