A long wait24 Jun, 2013 11:24 AM
I was emotionless, i felt nothing for anyone, i didn't care about anyone, in fact i couldn't care less if you're mother died from cancer, that's how emotionless i was. it was all because i had enough, i had fed up of being ignored and being tossed aside after peoples use. i mean i was always there for every one, but not one person was there for me. i was verbally bullied, embarrassed and pushed to edge of even considering taking my life. so at last i decided to not care anymore.
but all this was changed when i met her.
me and my friend were standing outside our church after the mass. i was about to leave when my friend, lets call him Richy, asked me to come inside with him because he wanted to talk to his sister. so i went with him. walking inside he saw his sister and we walked over to the group, and there she was, am not going to mention her name, but there she was...as soon as my eyes saw her my heart skipped a beat, time froze, i smiled for no reason. everything all of a sudden seemed happy, everything seemed to dim down and she was the only person who stood out. i couldn't think of nothing but how perfect she looked in her blue top and her jeans. her smile was so beautiful it wiped all my problems away, nothing mattered to me expect to see her smile. when i finally returned to reality she was right in front of me talking to me. i was so surprised i could talk, but i tried my best to hide this. i talked to her until my dad came to get me. during the conversation i and she had, she pulled a volume prank on me. i usually don't let people touche or even come near me, but i let her put her head phone in my ear and let her come close to me, i new what she was going to do next but i still acted surprised when she put the volume up because it made her smile and i wanted to see her smile again, it was just so beautiful, how can a smile be that beautiful.
but as always time flies when you fun, our conversation came to an end when my dad said its time to leave. i was sad. during the ride back, i realized talking to that girl, seeing her, being with her made me care for others, brought back all my emotion, its like she entered my heart without even waiting. arriving home, i changed into house cloths and went o face book and logged on, i had no intention of finding her or even looking her up, mainly because i had forgot her name, she had told me but i wasn't listening what she was saying all i was looking at was how beautiful her smile was. to my surprise though, there she was on the "people you may know" list. of course i added her and she accepted my request. then we started to talk, which then lead to video chatting. i am not talking about 5 mins talk or 5 min video chatting, am saying for hours and hours, i mean we used to chat from 6.00 PM to 1.00 AM or 2.00 AM some times. This continued on and on, i mean it was the only thing i was looking forward to every day.
but then my parents thought i was in LOVE with her, so my dad went and talked to her dad saying i was in love with her and stuff and things got out of control. know you guys be wondering wtf ?? well this is cause am an indian my parents said its cool to be in love but after you finish your studies...anyways so this break thing happened between me and her. i couldn't talk to her because of my parents and at first i thought i will get over it, its just a crush. But the longer the break went the harder it got for me. i missed her way to much. i started crying because i couldn't talk to her. i couldn't to any other girl because she came to my mind. I hear a name and her name comes to my mind, no matter what i did she came to my mind ! thats when i realized I AM IN LOVE WITH HER !
then time passed, the pain was so often it became a natural feeling for me. Then on Easter, she talked to me again via face book. i had sent happy easter to my friend in London and she had hacked into his account and she saw the message and replied ! i was so happy she did, i felt like human again, the pain just disappeared for me, everything seemed colourfull, i felt alive.
i new talking to her on my real face book would be risky so i made a fake face book and added her only, we talked and talked and talked, i told her how much i missed her and she told me she had missed me too !! i then decided i had to meet her and she agreed as well, so we decided to meet at the city, and we did. As soon as i saw her, i wanted to just hug her and tell her i was in love with her, but something stopped me, maybe it was the fear of rejection...maybe..but what ever it was it stopped me. that day was fun, we did stupid things and caught up on the missed times...
then one day at uni i told my friend, about her as a girl i love and he asked me if i had told her, when i had said no he said do it before u loose her, so i did. i met up with her and told her to her face that i loved her... she said "wait till the end of the year, at the end of the year i will tell you my answer" so i said yes, i mean i love her i will wait for her till time ends if i have to...
but during this time she told me she loved this guy for 6 years, and he had totally ignored her, like they weren't in a relationship or anything it was just her and he ignored her completely, she said even though shes trying to hate and forget him her heart still beats for him... when i heard this i was shattered, i felt like killing my life, putting a bullet in my head, that would be less pain full...but she told me shes trying to forget him and that's why she asked for me to wait till the end of this year... well rather than being angry at her...i decided to create memories with her so it will be easier for her to forget him...but i do not know how that is going....but am trying and am never going to give up on her until she says NO...
so am waiting...waiting for the end of 2013...then i will get my answer from her..... until then am going to try my level best to make her laugh and create happy memories for her....MAN end of the year is a long wait though !!....but its totally worth it <3