Heart-Broken18 Jan, 2017 01:52 AM
Love…is a word you use when you feel a spark between you and another. In my words, I don’t believe in any type of love. True love, love at first sight, or just plain “I love you”. You can’t just meet somebody and instantly fall in love. You can’t just know after your first date that you two are meant to be, because things happen. One of you could cheat or one of you could move somewhere very far having for both of you to stop seeing each other. Then you’d realize that it wasn’t meant to be. You’d realize that he wasn’t going to be the person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with. I’m not trying to hate on people who think they are in love, but let’s be realistic. Love is just a myth people made up to make them feel wanted and special.
I wasn’t always like this, but I had to secure myself from any feelings for anyone. I used to be completely and madly in love. And I thought we’d end up together, but we didn’t. He ended up falling for the blonde headed, skanky look, ugly faced, whore. When I first met, her I did not like her. I met the ex-love of my life at my school. He made my face light up with just his smile. I was about 6 and he was 9 when I first met him. He was tall, handsome, smart, funny, and amazing. I could stare into his light brown eyes and never look away. His name was Jackson. But, I ended up leaving for a year. I didn’t come back and I didn’t know what for.
I came back after summer break to find a new student there. Her name was Crystal. She wasn’t all that great at anything, but she seemed nice. As I walked through those hallway doors again, I found Jackson standing at the other side of the room talking to Crystal. When he saw, me he rushed over and hugged me tight and I felt so happy to know I was still his girl. May I remind you I wasn’t his girlfriend but the new girl seemed interested in that position. She was very touchy and clingy over him. It kind of made me mad, but I had to remember he wasn’t mine.
A few months passed and Jackson stopped hanging with me. He was always around Crystal and this time I wasn’t too happy. I tried everything texting, talking, calling, but nothing. So, I finally decided I wanted to tell him how I felt about him. I was about to leave to Florida for summer break and I told Crystal to tell him for me and report back. At that time, I thought she was my friend so I trusted her. When she told, him he told me that he didn’t feel the same way. I was upset. So, out of sadness I told her to tell him I didn’t want to be friends anymore. When I asked how he reacted she told me he was crushed.
When I left to Florida I realized I made a mistake. I wanted to be friends with him again. But I knew he wouldn’t want the same thing and I was right. I spent the whole summer thinking about what I would say to him. Would I just beat around the bush or just tell him? After about two months in the hot, I came home. I was excited to be back, but crushed to know that my best friend isn’t my best friend anymore. He and Crystal became close. When I mean, close I mean CLOSE. They both developed feelings for each other. The one person I wanted to see after I got back, was Jackson and my best girlfriend. When I came back that Monday I was told that Jackson and Crystal were together. I just couldn’t believe that after I told her to tell him how I felt she still went after him.
This is when I realized she wasn’t a friend anymore. I spent days and weeks crying my eyes out. The thought of them being together was really upsetting, but knowing that Jackson didn’t even try to fix our friendship was the worst feeling in the world. We’ve been friends for almost 5 years and he didn’t try to fix it. That point made me realize that he wasn’t my best friend anymore, he was hers.
For all my readers, I want you to know that this whole story is true. I went through every upsetting and crushing moment. Now she’s going to his house all the time and stealing the people I love. They don’t call me to hang out anymore. They call her. I just feel that since she arrived my life has been even more depressing than it was before. Every day I wish that she would’ve never walked through those doors. But, he’s happy. So, I’m happy. I just wish he could’ve been happy with me. I guess love is something you can’t push, but something you find.
That is why I close my heart off with 3 chains and 7 locks. I can’t be broken again. I know I’m young but he was everything to me, and now he’s everything to her.