Confession of a BITCH!19 May, 2015 08:23 AM
Yes,I am a bitch. I know I hurt someone for being so mean. I know I am acting as if I am a perfect person. I always notice someone’s flaws. I am inconsiderate for telling his/her mistakes and give my opinion about it. I am insensitive because even though I am aware that I might hurt somebody, I still express what’s on my mind. I am a beast, a monster that’s ready to kill someone anytime.
You might even think that I am a heartless person. I am a self centered girl who only thinks how to be beautiful always. But did you even try to be closer to me? Did you ever try to smile at me? Did you ever try to think that I can be a good friend too? Of course you didn't. You don’t like me on the first place. You don’t like how I carry myself in the public as if I own the world. You don’t like how I dress myself as if I am a fashion icon. You hate me because I am a bitch, right?
Of course nobody cares about my story. For them, I am the bad person here. You forget that I am human too. I am afraid most of the times. I want to be treated other way around. I am tired of proving myself to people that I am not a bitch. I am a kind person too. I want to let them know that I have been hurt. My boyfriend dumped me without any reason. He didn't even give me some clues. He didn't even give me a chance to shout at him. He just left me all of the sudden.
But of course you don’t know that. You can’t see that. You might even think that I only deserve that because I am a bitch. You tend to judge me right away. You tend to believe that I am a beast.
Well, I grow up to be like this. I don’t have to be showy about my emotions.
Why? I am afraid that it would be easier for them to manipulate me. Showing much emotion is a sign that I am weak. I need to pretend that everything is okay because a lot of people are depending on me. They will be shattered to show me crying. They needed me. I can’t be that selfish. They need someone who is stronger than them to lend on when they have problems. Someone that will say everything will be okay. I am a problem solver; people need me to help them, to seek my advice. They expected me to give them what they expected.
So, can you blame me for being like this? Can you blame me if I’m not allowed to cry? Can you blame me for being too strong? Do you know how painful is it to keep my emotions? Do you know how hard it would be to pretend that everything is alright but deep inside you wanted to breakdown? Do you know how hard is it to be me?