A way with dreams
kelsey14 Dec, 2012 07:59 PM
First of all this isn't going to be the best, but I will try my best to explain everything and all the details. This may not be a very sad story but too me it is...it's my story.
Okay, so my life has always been good, at least to me it was. I had an amazing dad who I loved me more than anything else in the entire world. He meant everything to me, he was my best friend! Everyday I would sit on his lap and we would always watch TV, Sanford and son, blazing saddles and more, but loved watching them with him. I was a huge daddy’s girl like most girls, I was his little girl and I always was.
We had money, we weren't rich or anything but everyday we would go out and eat. He was a firemen, been there for over 17 years and he was one of the best! Everyone loved my dad, he was like the town hero. He once saved a man who had fallen in a man hole. My dad was the only one who could fit in in the hole and he was the only one willing to do it. Since that everyone looked up to him, they all loved him.
When I was 12 my dad decided he wanted to be a cop, so he applied for one and he became one. He would go to work at 5 in the afternoon and get home at 5 in the morning and off on Saturdays. He had always wanted to be a cop, it kind of runs in the family. His dad was a cop, my moms dad was a cop so it runs in my family (really) well anyway, once he became a cop he changed (not in a good way either) he acted different and I was only 13 then so I didn't really pay attention, he seemed the same to me…I still sat with him.
But one day the day I will never forget was the day it began. I was outside playing with my two friends Preston and Jr. when I came inside to get us some snacks and my mom was on the couch crying and I didn't know why. My dad was sitting in the chair like nothing happened watching TV. I went back outside and came back inside and asked my mom the words she said broke my heart “He said he doesn't love me” I really didn't understand what she meant in that moment. Then after that night the fighting started happening. Everyday they would be yelling and everything, one night it got bad. The fighting started, the yelling and the cussing next and they were in the kitchen when I heard a glass break. I ran in the kitchen and my dad had his hand pointed at his head in the shape of a gun. He was pissed and I could tell so I ran outside screaming “Call the cops! Call the cops!” and I ran across the street to my friends house and his mom ran to my house, then my aunt came and my grandma and grandpa.
After everything calmed down I went back home. My aunt and everyone was talking to my mom and dad and I heard my mom say “He had the gun at his head wanting to kill himself” I never thought that my life would change, I thought I would always have my dad and I always thought I would be his little girl.
But I was wrong …now I’m 16 and I haven’t seen my dad in over 3 years. No phone call, no visit…nothing. It breaks my heart cause I remember all the things my dad has said to me and all the things we went through. When I was like 9 I had to go to the hospital because I was sick and they thought I was dying. I stayed in one hospital for 2 weeks, and when I got out of the hospital I had to be rushed to another one. I stayed in that one for 4 weeks. During that time, my dad he would sleep beside me in the hospital bed and he would always sat beside me and never leave my side.
Now, my dad has moved on and has a new wife and a son. I miss him more than anything, but he’s the one missing out…not me. I didn't leave.
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CommentsPost a Comment
14 Mar, 2013 10:22 AM
i feel sorry for you. But keep holding on.
Me, my dad went away and go somewhere.
he went away from us 8 yrs ago.
He left while it's raining.
I want to tell you why:
When I was 4, he'll hurt us using cigarettes and belts.
Me, my brother are always abused.
yeah, we're abused.
Sometimes, I'm looking for a real love of a father.
I'm looking for love. From my real father.
but never in my life i felt it.
There's a time that I accidentaly dropped the mug and there goes again, a two by two wood and it hitted right on my head. My brain shaked and there's a posibility antil now that I'll forget something. Now that he's gone, I'm still looking for his love and I'm hoping he'll change for good.
Yeah, though he's hurting me, I still love him. I won't leave on his side.
I'm hoping he's happy.
Now, I'm 13, I'm not so happy with my new life, 'cause the pain of my past is still lingering and it will forever. I have my new father and countless suitors but I never had a boyfriend. I hope we can be friends.
14 Mar, 2013 11:47 PM
My dad did the same so I no how you feel I was his world and now I don't even know where he is
15 Mar, 2013 02:41 AM
Yang, I am so sorry! I can't believe that. If you ever want to talk my email is firstname.lastname@example.org
28 Mar, 2013 03:25 AM
My Dad never loves me :) he hates me since I was born. . I never feel love from my own dad . . . When he fought with my mother that night. . He said that " I don't ever wanted HIM (Me) to be the my Son. .because He's not smart enough like our second daughter" And that words really broke my hearts. . I'M just a stupid son that doesn't deserve my father's love. . .:) sorry for my bad english. . .
23 Apr, 2013 08:35 PM
i just suddenly missed my dad, so i tried to find father/daughter pictures or any story, then i found this, i was already crying and im already starting to feel your pain while reading the part where you said "This may not be a very sad story but too me it is...it's my story." im crying while im typing this. like you kelsey, i am a daddy's girl. i know that my father loves me so much, my mom would even tell me that my dad used to changed my diapers and do all the laundry when i was still a baby. he never laid a hand on me, ever. my mom is the disciplinarian, maybe that's another reason why me and my dad became more closer, coz everytime my mom scolds me, my dad would come running covering me, and he would take all the hits from my mom that i should supposedly get. he would console me,hug me and give me treats just so i would feel better. then i was already turning 18 when we found out that he has another woman,it hurts me so bad i thought i wanted to die already. he just didn't betray my mom but he betrayed mee too. they may have fights, big or small, but he always comes back home. then, there came a day after learning that he has another woman, he didn't show up anymore. the last time ive talked to him, i told him that he should treat me as dead already if he will go back to his mistress. it's like 7yrs now, i haven't seen him since he went away. i tell people, even my mom that i hate him and i dont miss him and that i dont even care about him anymore. but they don't know, behind those painful words, is a daughter, longing for her father, i so missed him, and it breaks my heart knowing that our family can never be the same again, and that i can never have a chance to kiss,hug and talk to him anymore. im just hoping that he would have a longer life, just by simply knowing that he's still ok makes me a bit alright already. i know i wont be able to stand if i will learn that he is gone forever. so everytime i missed him, i would cry and remember all the happy memories with him,and still hopes that there would be a miracle wherein everything bad will be erased, happy ones will remain, and everything will go back to normal.. but ofcourse that wont happen..and i feel the same way with Yang " I'm not so happy with my new life, 'cause the pain of my past is still lingers and it will forever." i hope we'll find peace in our hearts and that the pain will go away already. take care girls.
01 Feb, 2016 02:54 PM
I love my dad a lot he is the one with whom I spent a lot of day and number of hours talking.He cared me like anything which I dint even get from anyone till the day he passed.I always pray God, let my dad come from somewhere and tell me baby I am alive.