Vote +28

The sweet relief


27 May, 2012 04:59 PM

Hello my name is Andrew, and this my story. When I was a child grew up in a loveless household, my parents used to beat me and I didn't have any siblings to comfort me. My childhood back then was agonizing, but now it just seems like a big blur... except for my junior and senior year in high school. That's when I met Luaren. She was so beautiful, but no one knew her because she was so shy. I always stared at her from a far and sometimes she would catch me staring and just give a little smile. But I still knew that someone like me didn't deserve her. Someone like me didn't deserve any woman. Someone like me didn't deserve love.

But no matter what through junior year I kept on wishing if I could be with her but never having the confidence to even talk to her. Until that one evening, I was walking by the lake and I was just throwing stones into the lake and looking up at the skies. Until I heard footsteps and little twigs cracking in the distance. I was startled so I ran and hid behind a tree, as I watched the person walking up I realized it was Lauren! She stopped at the same place I just was in front of the lake, but I started to think that I could never be with her and that I shouldn't even talk to her. I started to walk away until she saw me. She called out my name "Is that Andrew?" I stopped frozen in my own tracks. I answered back "Yes, who is that?" (Like i already didn't know) She answered back "Why don't you come hang with me? I would like someone to talk to." I walked her way and we sat down on the ground right next to each other. I was so nervous, I was sweating like a dog (which now i realize is a very ironic statement) and worst of all there was a very awkward silence between us and I had to try to say something. I finally mustered up some confidence and said "I am really glad you called me over." She smiled and said "If this isn't too weird but I'm really kind of nervous. I have honestly had a crush on you for a while. I was shocked, I was lucky I didn't swallow by whole freaking tongue. I just stood up and gave her a huge hug. I had never felt that warm feeling inside before, its now the feeling I know as love.

We went through high school together and we were INSEPARABLE! We ate lunch together everyday, we always met each other in the hallways, we basically had every class together, and we just opened up with each other. We trusted each other more than we had trusted any one before. We were in love, what can I say. We knew that our love was special like that kind of love you see in movies and books but just real. I had never loved anything in my life before, so without her I would be nothing, and so I made myself believe I would never lose her. I was more wrong than you could even imagine. In high school I had no friends, was the bully's easiest and favorite target. So Lauren was really all I had and my bully hated to even see me happy. So one night we as usual were holding hands walking by the lake, we heard laughing and crunching of twigs in the background but we ignored it. That's when everything went black... I woke up with a throbbing pain in my head and hearing Lauren scream "Andrew help me!!!!"
I was being held down by a 300 pound football player who was laughing hysterically. It took me a while to find Lauren, but I did. She was being held down, beaten, and even worst... raped. I couldn't bare to see it I started to go insane trying to claw my way out so I could save her. But I couldn't, I just had to sit there and watch the love of my life being beaten, raped, and killed. Whenever all of them were done and let me go I couldn't even think of getting revenge or catching them. I just wanted to hold Lauren in my arms, she was still alive and all I could say is "Please hang in there baby. I love you so much." But the last thing she said was "Why did this happen?"... She died in my arms; I watched the only person who I ever loved die. I sat there for a day before I called anyone. But when I was there I pulled out my pocket knife and was about to end my life to be with Lauren forever. I could even feel the sweet relief of death on the back of my neck. But I realized I don't even deserve death's sweet relief. I am pathetic, lonely, and useless; I don't deserve anything.

Its been 30 years since that night.. I still cry myself to sleep about it. She was the only thing I ever loved and ever will love. I am a shell of my former self, and I will never be anything more than a cockroach scowering the earth. I have never found another love, and the thing I have realized is that I never will. The day I wait for is when they bury me in that old wooden coffin and end my miserable life. I will never love again.

RIP Lauren my one and only true love.

Vote +28
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Tesah Badilla says:
17 Nov, 2012 01:17 AM

I am sorry to hear this, if you ever need to talk I am good at listening. e-mail me, I'm always online.

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Sarah says:
17 Nov, 2012 04:09 AM

Im really sorry, ur story is so sad, how could u continue without her for 30years? Its tooo hard...

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Mrinal says:
18 Nov, 2012 12:14 AM

well., andrew,.., it was heart touching.,,.,be strong you will surely meet her in your next life .beleive yourself
,.., n 1 thing tru luv never dies

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naif says:
21 Nov, 2012 09:52 AM

i feel so sad when i read this story, if some need a friend to talk just email me and i'm willing to listen.

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shakshi says:
21 Nov, 2012 01:16 PM

if it rili happend to u dn u r d one who had also hammerd by fate.i dun kw being about jus a cocroch bt we actuly r nothing wn god or fate plays its role.just dat stories r diff but most of us r living death inside jus do wot i did forget ur pain n join sombdy else to cure dere.n m happy u chose living dn deing dat unfortunate day.

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belle says:
02 Dec, 2012 08:35 AM

am sorry for hearing that...=(

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Maira says:
02 Dec, 2012 08:12 PM

It was a very good story! And very sad... But the ending wasnt good... It was tooo sad you know....i mean time heal all wounds...even though scars remain to remind about the pain... I hope it dint happen for real...take care :)

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Ana says:
09 Dec, 2012 04:05 PM

Im sorry for what happen to you. I hope those guys are in jail. You should give a change on loving someone. Don't give up on yourself don't put your self down. Be strong you could make it.

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Marcie says:
17 Dec, 2012 04:25 AM

Your put on this earth for a reason. Hang in there shes your gaudian angel now watching over you and youll find love again someday:)

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Lonely says:
14 Feb, 2013 09:26 AM

I am so sorry..I wish I could be with you. So sorry baby I can't comfort you.

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Kimberlynn says:
03 Apr, 2014 10:01 PM

I am really sorry you had to go through with all that you have been through.
i hope you find it in your heart to love deserve more than you offer yourself
Stay Blessed<3

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shay says:
07 Sep, 2014 09:26 PM

im so sorry this hadnto happen to you

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shay says:
07 Sep, 2014 09:26 PM

im so sorry this hadnto happen to you

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ray says:
21 Dec, 2014 04:10 AM

she would want you
to be happy. i know she would, because i would

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Jim says:
18 Jun, 2017 01:49 PM

What happened after? Did they go to jail for rape an murder?

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