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My Mistake...


20 May, 2010 10:03 PM

Sitting on the abandoned train tracks; Sitting on the docks, dipping out toes in the freezing water; Sneaking away from reality to escape to a fantasy where I was the gorgeous heroine and he was my hero; Spending all night together... This was a normal day for me. It was about one month from the ending of school, when I met Drew. He was all I could ever ask for in a million years. I'm not going to lie, I have been in love before, but this was different. Maybe it was the fact he was a few years older than I and I hadn't dated an older man? I dunno. But it was surely different. From that month on, school was shot to hell because I spent every second with Drew. And I mean every second. I would sneak out almost every night and spend the whole night with him. Luckily, my dad being principal and all, got me my missed work and cleared my tardies so I managed to keep up my grades until it was finally summer. So, when summer started, Drew had began skipping work to spend time with me. He shared the house across the street from my house, with his best friend and pretty much brother, Blake. Blake was a nice guy, and he had a butt load of money, so he payed the bills and whatnot. Drew and I were carefree and in love. Within the last week of summer, we began fighting intensely. And it was hard. I remember standing in the living room at his house, and he was mad at me because I found cigarettes under his bed. Wouldn't you be pissed if you found our your boyfriend was pretty much going to kill himself with those hateful, stinky sticks of nasty? Considering my mom died of lung cancer, it hit a soft spot and I exploded on him. Plus, he was probably doing illegal stuff, too, knowing his trashy friends (not Blake. I mean his "new, better" friends.). I don't remember much, but I remember sitting on his bed, hearing a crunch from under the mattress, and found the package of death. I also remember cutting up the cigarettes and throwing them all over the floor. He walked in, freaked, and completely destroyed the room. He overturned the bed; broke the TV; knocked down picture frames; and managed to throw a few glasses and vases. I have never cried in one of our fights, but I was balled up in the corner, scared for my life and crying. He was screaming at the top of his lungs at me, until I finally got away from his grasp and ran into the living room. He was standing in the doorway, and then something in me snapped as I screamed "They're just sticks! You just lost me because of a stupid addiction that WILL eventually kill you! It's over! I never want to see your face again!" and ran out the front door, tears streaming down my face. I got inside my house, locked the door, sat on the couch, and tried to calm down. I was still crying, even though I wasn't sad nor was I attempting to cry. The tears just came. The next day, I stayed in and watched movies and ate soup all day. He didn't come over, and I didn't go to his house. Two days after we "broke up" I decided that we were "fighting" over something stupid, and that I was going to go make up with him. I walked across the street to his, and caught Blake just in time; he was getting out of his car. "Hey, Blake. Uh. Where's Drew?" I asked looking around, seeing that his bike was gone, his car was gone, and even his skateboards were gone. Blake whirled around and looked shocked. "Drew moved away." My face dropped, and I could see that he could see that I was lost for words. "Don't bother trying to contact him, he said that he can't stand the heartbreak." My legs suddenly wouldn't hold me anymore and I collapsed to the ground. Blake came to my side and tried to help me up...
Three years have passed, and I've emailed Drew everyday... He hasn't emailed back, not once... I'm still so in love with him, but it feels like what we had was a dream...

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Alisha says:
29 May, 2010 08:17 AM

Hey i'm so sorry about what happend but u knw what, if he truly loves u he wil come back to you....n its been 3 years so mayb he dint love u truly.....or just go where he lives n talk 2 him n if he still doesnt accept u then girl u need to move on...may be theres sumone better waiting 4 you

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Cynical says:
05 Jun, 2010 06:23 PM

Sorry for your loss. Either he has moved on and found someone new, which I hope is not true for your sake, or he might still not be able to face you. Maybe he changed all his contacts to stay away from you. I dont know. But it also might be because he felt like he hurt you, and is afraid to hurt you again...I truly am sorry for you situation.

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