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Misunderstood

Brown

26 Mar, 2018 01:53 PM

For 3 days now, i have been reasing stories here. Some are basically what i have and i am going through some are way worse than mine.
I met my still husband, pending divorce sometime next year, in 2012. He was the most wonderful person i have ever met in my life. We started seeing each other slowly and before we knew it, we were dating. I was doing my voluntary year. Everything was ok and i got pregnant. I was so happy but he was so shocked. I assured him we will raise our child the best way we can together. Few months unto the relationship he started showind some wierd character. I would tell him something and he could understand what he wanted. I thought maybe he was too excited to have me and the pregnancy. I let everything slide swipping the bad energy under the carpet. Little did i know that was the biggest mistake of my life. He took everything for grantee getting support from his family. I tried talking to hin but there's no way i could stand against his family. Out of respect i decided to focus on my child. He would do things and put the blame on me. I would defend myself but it didn't bring much. At one given time i fled to my friend with a 6 month old pregnancy. I was scared of my child. I wanted to have this baby. He turned the while story against me. His friend began to hate me. I stayed. When my child was born, the first 3 months were ok. His family would brag before me how stubborn and nagging they were. I kept quiet. Slowly my child was doing okay. My then husband would come from work and play with him. During the day i would take care of all the house chores and baby stuff. The mother and sister started insisting i should do things with them. I did only when i had time but they wanted to monitor me 24/7.i felt unease and i slowly withdrew. The mother started insulting me in our apartment. I usually told him but he ignored everything. A lot happened and i found myself broken and abandoned. My child joined daycare. His speech was slow. My husband usually told me that he is mentally handicapped. I cried inside and treid to tell him to stop. He got backup from his family. It tore me into pieces everyday. My son on the otjer hand was a jovial and a healthtly kid. I ignoree their negative energy and struggled to survive.

I kept quiet just for the sake of peace. I lost my husbnd to his family. Everything went downhill drastically. I had no time to react nor think. I tried talking and reasoning with him but nothing changed. A while back i had opened up to him. The greatesg mistake of my life. I had closed that chapter of my life and i had healed.je listened to accuse me and not to understand me. Everyday he would remind me of that closed chapter. Outside he was so ashamed of me. I thought maybe i wasn't beautiful enough. I invested in clothesand make-up. I could even sleep in sexy outfits next to him. For a whole year he ignord me. I didn't give up. Need i say i used to pray endlessly. Notjjng changed. He would forve me to cut his beard, and flush the toilet whenever he would do his thing. Neighbours sstarted conplaining about our noise. I never knew what else to do. I waited and hoped he would change. I tried talking to his mother for help but she constantly insulted me.

We bought a house together. He planned a very dangerous plan. He was to render me mad before the police and he could continue staying in the house. My son was emotionally damaged. I couldn't reach out to him. Everytime i tried to, his father would come in between us. I cried silently but it didn't stop. I had nowhere else to go. He finally threw my and i out of the house. Need i say he had been operated on 2 days before. He would cry in pain as i tried to give him a roof and food. Back at the house my husband would chill with his friends and play xbox and drink the whole time. I felt devastated.

He never seemed bothered. I had to stop school. I missed a few exams and projects. It didn't break me though. I fought hard to survive.
We finally separated and his father threw me out of a hpuse we had bought together. I stayed calm and left everything to God.
He finally succeded in hating me together with his family. I loved him deeply and he used that against me. Hes busy spreading rumours that i want to kill myself.

The truth is he has bullied me all those years we were married me. He attempted to strangle me once. He would push me around the house and insult me . He meant i was neber fit to be a mother to his child. He wanted and still wants me gone. The bully is still going on tormenting my life even when i have accepted the separation.the only mistake was that i loved him. I love with my son but it's not easy. I am trying to fight be strong for my son but i am not. I have given up on the good things of life. The idea of having him tormemt me for another 13 years till my son hits 18 is a long time. I am sacred for my life. I have tried to reach out to a few people for help but all in vain. He's not yet done with me. I want to love again but that road is a dangerous one.

My mistake was to love deeply.

Tags: Hurt
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