Vote +9

You promised...

Jordan Stacy

16 Mar, 2018 03:18 AM

I don’t know if you would call it love. Or a relationship. I don’t know. But all I know is that this boy made me feel safe, wanted and loved. But he lied.

I was 12 year old girl, long ish brown hair, depressed, suicidal, self harmer. I was in 6 grade. I wasn’t very popular. I was popular to the bullies cause they like picking on me. They knew my father left me when I was a baby, they had two parents so they laughed at me for that and my weight.

One day tho, It was Nov 30, 2013 or 14. My best friend at the time Courtney stayed with me on the weekends. We went on Omegle like we do every time she comes down. She would always find someone, date for a week then find someone else but me... I didn’t. I was the ugly friend and I felt bad about it until that morning, I thought I was gonna change it but didn’t.

It was early around 9:30 ish am. I was on the couch, Courtney was about to leave and I planned that I was gonna kill myself. I hated myself it was around the time my grandpa died, I watched him died and it killed me I felt like. I couldn’t handle life no more cause I had a secret that no one knew and I felt bad for it.
But I feel like Randall (my grandpa) sent me this guy I meet.

I meet this guy on Omegle name Eli... I liked guys with long hair and glasses and he had that. He was perfect to me, I feel in love when I first seen that picture of him.

Dark blue eyes, long brown soft hair, clear skin that look soft and smooth, white male, tall, slim, and perfect. Born on March 9, 1997. Has two sisters and works as a music guy

He was 17 at the time, lived in San Francisco, California and I lived in Hazard, Kentucky.
I didn’t care about the age nor the distance I fell in love but I thought he would leave the next day like most guys did. But he didn’t

You see he texted me every night. I became more and more close to him. I grew on him. He was my reason to live I decide to stay awhile that night I meet him and sadly regret it.

We would text almost every night on kik, dirty talk, talk about the future, talk about how we would meet, he would listen to my drama at school and me cry all the time about how I hate myself and he made me feel so much fucking better. I slowly realized I quit cutting and was happy.

I told him my deepest secret that was killing me. I was a rape victim, he is the only person that knows the whole truth. My own mother doesn’t know anything but the surface of what happened.

We talk for 4 years fucking straight and he left, he didn’t tell me he was leaving. He just quit replying. I still text him everyday waiting for him. It’s been 8 months and I’m close to suicide. I need him. I wanna hold him, hug him, love him, I’ll do anything to have him.


He 21 now and I’m 15
While he been gone I been doing drugs, cutting, I been fighting, rude to people, I break out in fights with anyone that slightly tipster me on the edge. I hurt people feelings and physically too. I’m in court for fighting, self harming again, and now a addict to Xanaxs and anti depressants.

I need him back, please just help me someone. Anyone in San Francisco that knows a guy name Eli please text me
Kik: jordan.nat1
Skype:highlighterfreakqueen
Facebook: Jordan Stacy

Please help me find him. I wanna say sorry to him. I don’t know what I done but I need to do it.

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Cody says:
28 Mar, 2018 05:44 PM

wow, this is deep.....ik how this feels tho :(

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Shamal Dillon says:
28 Mar, 2018 10:36 PM

You might want to consider sharing your secret with someone closer to you. Or perhaps look into seeing a shrink. Eli may have made you feel good at the time, but that safety net you built around your texting relationship with him is false hope, false happiness. You need to heal your own wounds and learn to love yourself. You are a rape victim. The first step is admitting that it happened to you. The second step is realizing that it's not your fault. Then you need to find someone you trust and can confide in, because these are not emotions anyone should have to deal with alone.

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Karma says:
29 Mar, 2018 04:24 PM

Hun, you don't need a guy for you to stay healthy and happy never think you need a guy to keep you happy we've all been there. It's not always worth it. Maybe he left because your younger and he is 21 and could get in big trouble don't worry life will get better self harm and trouble isn't the answer.

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-------------- says:
02 Apr, 2018 01:45 AM

How stupid can you be to try to kill yourself over someone. To be honest of your that pathetic you should kill yourself, do an overdose, or just turn into a brainless whore but I guess your already one. Your grammar sucks too. You got a bad case of retard it seems. I wish people like you would just STFU cause no one cares about your easily fixable dumb asf situation

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Krystal says:
03 Apr, 2018 01:33 AM

The guy could have also been a catfish, and after getting close to you and hearing your trials and tribulations decided to flee in guilt, maybe.

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Camille says:
11 Apr, 2018 01:25 PM

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Stay strong and I hope he comes back

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scott norman says:
26 Apr, 2018 03:25 PM

sorry he is dead he was one of my closest friend

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Alex says:
30 Apr, 2018 02:01 AM

Im late to the party, i know, i hope youre still alive today. I want to say this story broke my heart not because he stopped texting you; its because what youre going through. Im 15 too btw. You say its been 8 months yes? Dont ponder on him, he's not worth it, trust me guys that throw you away like that are NEVER worth anything. I reccomend that you get help, and rehabilitation. Drugs will destroy you...so will self harming.Please seek therapy and treatment, forget the man that stopped replying, move on with youre life and live it the way a 15 year old girl should live, without pain, worry, regret, drugs; none of it. Please get help.

Love Alex

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VictoriaHall says:
17 May, 2018 04:23 PM

IM really sorry that that happened to you. You seem like an amazing person. Ik what it feels like to depend on one guy and that leave you hanging on a thread that is about to break. But he was my friend only. He was there for me he understood me. He was always there for me. I was finally happy then he just left. He left without telling me bye, or I hope I see you again. I have been depressed because of my family I am the youngest girl with a little brother and in 16. I've been cutting a long time.

I know this isn't a good reason to forgive him but what if something happened to him and he wasn't able to talk. or even communicate with anyone. And after he was able to again he thought you wouldn't want to talk anymore.
I'm sorry if I didn't help but that is what helps me believe that my best friend doesn't talk to me anymore.

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Redxz says:
19 Jul, 2018 11:39 AM

I feel so so sorry for you hm....
All men and women should have an equal life and love....Please move on and Stop harming yourself as this would not help you at all..I would be glad if you would like my help

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