You promised...16 Mar, 2018 03:18 AM
I don’t know if you would call it love. Or a relationship. I don’t know. But all I know is that this boy made me feel safe, wanted and loved. But he lied.
I was 12 year old girl, long ish brown hair, depressed, suicidal, self harmer. I was in 6 grade. I wasn’t very popular. I was popular to the bullies cause they like picking on me. They knew my father left me when I was a baby, they had two parents so they laughed at me for that and my weight.
One day tho, It was Nov 30, 2013 or 14. My best friend at the time Courtney stayed with me on the weekends. We went on Omegle like we do every time she comes down. She would always find someone, date for a week then find someone else but me... I didn’t. I was the ugly friend and I felt bad about it until that morning, I thought I was gonna change it but didn’t.
It was early around 9:30 ish am. I was on the couch, Courtney was about to leave and I planned that I was gonna kill myself. I hated myself it was around the time my grandpa died, I watched him died and it killed me I felt like. I couldn’t handle life no more cause I had a secret that no one knew and I felt bad for it.
But I feel like Randall (my grandpa) sent me this guy I meet.
I meet this guy on Omegle name Eli... I liked guys with long hair and glasses and he had that. He was perfect to me, I feel in love when I first seen that picture of him.
Dark blue eyes, long brown soft hair, clear skin that look soft and smooth, white male, tall, slim, and perfect. Born on March 9, 1997. Has two sisters and works as a music guy
He was 17 at the time, lived in San Francisco, California and I lived in Hazard, Kentucky.
I didn’t care about the age nor the distance I fell in love but I thought he would leave the next day like most guys did. But he didn’t
You see he texted me every night. I became more and more close to him. I grew on him. He was my reason to live I decide to stay awhile that night I meet him and sadly regret it.
We would text almost every night on kik, dirty talk, talk about the future, talk about how we would meet, he would listen to my drama at school and me cry all the time about how I hate myself and he made me feel so much fucking better. I slowly realized I quit cutting and was happy.
I told him my deepest secret that was killing me. I was a rape victim, he is the only person that knows the whole truth. My own mother doesn’t know anything but the surface of what happened.
We talk for 4 years fucking straight and he left, he didn’t tell me he was leaving. He just quit replying. I still text him everyday waiting for him. It’s been 8 months and I’m close to suicide. I need him. I wanna hold him, hug him, love him, I’ll do anything to have him.
He 21 now and I’m 15
While he been gone I been doing drugs, cutting, I been fighting, rude to people, I break out in fights with anyone that slightly tipster me on the edge. I hurt people feelings and physically too. I’m in court for fighting, self harming again, and now a addict to Xanaxs and anti depressants.
I need him back, please just help me someone. Anyone in San Francisco that knows a guy name Eli please text me
Facebook: Jordan Stacy
Please help me find him. I wanna say sorry to him. I don’t know what I done but I need to do it.