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I Tried


03 Nov, 2016 01:48 PM

I sit, trying to work on homework as my boyfriend puts his hands all over me. I don't like it. No. I hate it. But I can't say no. I wish I could, I try, but because.....of what happened,I can't say no. I can't say the word. I try, but I can't break up with him. I am shackled to him through chains of repression and stupidity. The class ends, and I haven't gotten anything done. I tried, but I can't concentrate, when I'm being violated....I can't really concentrate at all. I try, but I can't. I think I might have ADD. According to my research, I have many symptoms of ADD. My friends call me spacey sometimes. They get annoyed when I can't listen to them when they talk to me. I think I should tell my parents about my concerns. Well, I tried, but they dismissed it.

My mom expects all A's from me. I can't do that. I'm not that kind of girl. I'm not smart, and I don't have all A's. The last day for grades is today. I tried to get my grades up. I have all passing grades, C's and above, but my mom is disappointed in me. I tried, believe me, I did. I tried, and failed. I tried, but I couldn't do it.

My best friend and the guy I liked for so long are going out. We talked about the girl code, and agreed that no one could have him. I should've beaten her to telling him how I felt if I wanted him. I tried, but I froze up. Now it's not an option. I made some bad choices, and now my friends are mad. I tried to explain my reasoning, but I couldn't say it. It was my friend's birthday, too. I think I ruined her birthday, because now she's stressed. I tried to make it a happy birthday, but I failed. I feel really bad. That same day, one of my other friends was crying because of it. She left that day and hasn't come back. It's my fault. I try to be a good friend. I try, but no matter how hard I try, I can't.

I can't be a good friend. I can't be an All A's student, like my mom wants. I can't break up with my boyfriend. I can't say no. I can't say how I feel about stuff. I try, but I can't. But I tried. And I tried living, but I can't do that, either. I tried, but I can't anymore. I just can't. But I tried.

Tags: Failure, Suicide
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kaladar says:
18 Dec, 2016 02:39 PM

you are so sweet and cute

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Alhaad says:
19 Dec, 2016 04:37 PM

dont worry. You are a good, a very good human being in my opinion. Take Care.

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ISsa says:
25 Dec, 2016 05:58 PM

I tried being the best, I can't. I tried being better, than his ex. But I can't everyone admires his ex and here I am, you see you cannot push yourself. All I have left is being my self. I'm a misfit and I'm okay with that. I AM PLAIN AND IT'S OKAY. Being okay is enough.

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