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I Tried

Cassy

03 Nov, 2016 01:48 PM

I sit, trying to work on homework as my boyfriend puts his hands all over me. I don't like it. No. I hate it. But I can't say no. I wish I could, I try, but because.....of what happened,I can't say no. I can't say the word. I try, but I can't break up with him. I am shackled to him through chains of repression and stupidity. The class ends, and I haven't gotten anything done. I tried, but I can't concentrate, when I'm being violated....I can't really concentrate at all. I try, but I can't. I think I might have ADD. According to my research, I have many symptoms of ADD. My friends call me spacey sometimes. They get annoyed when I can't listen to them when they talk to me. I think I should tell my parents about my concerns. Well, I tried, but they dismissed it.

My mom expects all A's from me. I can't do that. I'm not that kind of girl. I'm not smart, and I don't have all A's. The last day for grades is today. I tried to get my grades up. I have all passing grades, C's and above, but my mom is disappointed in me. I tried, believe me, I did. I tried, and failed. I tried, but I couldn't do it.

My best friend and the guy I liked for so long are going out. We talked about the girl code, and agreed that no one could have him. I should've beaten her to telling him how I felt if I wanted him. I tried, but I froze up. Now it's not an option. I made some bad choices, and now my friends are mad. I tried to explain my reasoning, but I couldn't say it. It was my friend's birthday, too. I think I ruined her birthday, because now she's stressed. I tried to make it a happy birthday, but I failed. I feel really bad. That same day, one of my other friends was crying because of it. She left that day and hasn't come back. It's my fault. I try to be a good friend. I try, but no matter how hard I try, I can't.

I can't be a good friend. I can't be an All A's student, like my mom wants. I can't break up with my boyfriend. I can't say no. I can't say how I feel about stuff. I try, but I can't. But I tried. And I tried living, but I can't do that, either. I tried, but I can't anymore. I just can't. But I tried.

Tags: Failure, Suicide
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kaladar says:
18 Dec, 2016 02:39 PM

you are so sweet and cute

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Alhaad says:
19 Dec, 2016 04:37 PM

dont worry. You are a good, a very good human being in my opinion. Take Care.

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ISsa says:
25 Dec, 2016 05:58 PM

I tried being the best, I can't. I tried being better, than his ex. But I can't everyone admires his ex and here I am, you see you cannot push yourself. All I have left is being my self. I'm a misfit and I'm okay with that. I AM PLAIN AND IT'S OKAY. Being okay is enough.

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zepher says:
18 Jan, 2017 12:54 PM

you're awesome, you're great.if your friends don't like u, get new ones. something very beautiful is ahead and someday it'll all heal. believe me, I've been through it. set your personal goals and don't include anything else inside except you.forget everything else, the pain and the sadness. years from now, your friends and your boyfriend, they don't really matter, what matter is u and today please do things for you and yourself only, the things that is sure to make you happy even if its just for a day

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