Broken30 Aug, 2010 02:15 PM
" I love you Micheal" I told him over the phone
" yeah sure Katz, whatever, got to go now" he told me
" Alryt love see..." Before I had even finished my last sentence he hung up. My heart was just drowning in mud, I just could not look at my friends, who were waiting to hear what Micheal had said to me.
" what did he say" Judy asked me
" Well..he said he misses me and He just can not wait till I come back home" I lied to them, and deep inside I knew I myself was hurting.I could not sit any longer with my friends, I had to go away from them, I just could not take the pain and I knew that anytime I would burst out into tears and that would cause too much trouble.
I just made the lamest excuse of having a headache and how I wanted to go to sleep at once...When I got to my room,I burst out in tears, i cried for a lot of reasons...I cried because I had just lied to my friends, but most of all I cried because Micheal is not giving me the love I knew I deserved.
Right then I knew I was ought to end the relationship but I thought to myself what if he loves me but he just can not show it...so I did not end the relationship but I knew that I was broken.
So broken that when I got home for the holidays I promised myself not to speak to him until he had apologized for treating me so badly,but instead I was the first one to call him when I got home.
"hey baby, you know how much I missed you, life has just been horrible without you around here" he said over the phone
" really Micheal?" I was really surprised
" yeah sweetheart you know you are my only love, and nothing can ever come between us" He said these words followed by a little cute laugh.
After this, Micheals words echoed the whole week in me.I made a decision that I was just being a little sensitive, after all I heard myself that he thinks that nothing can ever come between us...I could not wait till we meet again, after the phone call I was head over heels. I knew that if he was to leave me anytime soon my life would end.At that moment I was just waiting for cupid to come shooting his arrow through my heart,I felt like i was flying on cloud nine.Everything was just the way I wanted it to be, and all this happiness because of a single phone call.
The day came when He and I were to meet again.That day I had borrowed my sisters blue skirt and her make up, I wanted to look so fabulous, so pretty and beautiful, that Micheal would not have to regret his decision of making me the one.I found myself humming this cool song by beyonce "dangerously in love with you" everything was just the way i wanted it to be...Not only was it a good hair day, but my face was looking fabulous too, so I thought that it had been that new lemon lite I had been using.Everything was just perfect.
There i was, walking towards his house, the first person I saw there was this pretty girl standing outside his house and then she went inside, so I figured it was just one of his cousin.
Just when I was about to give him a phone call to call him out,I saw his light brown skin, there skin that I always imaged and fantasied about when I am all alone. His light brown eyes shining against the sun, reflected my face.That was just the best image I have ever seen in my whole seventeen years of living.
"hey" he said
"hey Micheal how you doing...?" I asked him with a smile across my face
" hhmm Katz, you know man I gotta tell you something chick, I do not know how you going to take this but yeah" he explained to me...at that moment my smile was fading away, my heart was pounding, thumping so bad I thought he could even hear it.
"Mhh Katz...I know you are smart enough to know when somebody loves you and when somebody is just using you right?...well Katz what i am trying to say is that You are just not the girl for me, you never were and I do not even think you will ever be" i could find other words to substitute here but those words were truly there ones he said.
I did see it coming, but I just could not believe that he was really ending things with me...i swear I never wanted him to leave...It just hearts me to know that he said those words...I was just broken, it seems to me as if he was enjoying what he was doing...
" But micheal, you can not..."and just as I was about to finish my line, the girl I saw earlier on appeared with a smile across her face...Micheal said something to her and she replied... i could not really make out the words they said to each other, it was clear that they were now kissing in front of me, as if i was not standing there.
Couldnt Micheal see that I was broken already, what he did to me on that day was just the only part I wish I could replace...I just can not believe that he was leaving me like this...broken.
How could he leave me broken, couldn't he see that i was broken, and it is hurting me that he just left me like that, broken.And because of him I do not know if I can ever love again...I am just Broken, he sure did leave me broken.
I do not wanna feel that way again, I could find another guy now, but I do not wanna be broken...
Katlego Melissa Mabale