I've lost him because of them.19 Jan, 2013 03:12 AM
He was the face I saw in the hallway everyday at school on the way to lunch. The face I looked forward to everyday. The face that I didn't know the story of. The face that caused me to hide my blushing face to keep those eyes from seeing the feelings I had. I felt as if he could read me by just looking into my eyes. The first day we spoke was the Monday after school had ended. I had never said a word to him before it. He messaged me on facebook and we began to talk. He ended up asking me out the next day and I said yes because I knew there was a connection between the two of us. He immediately wanted to come over to meet my parents and see me. I told him I wasn't sure that was a good idea because no one had ever asked my parents for permission to talk to me. He knew what he was doing though and asked my mom if it was okay if he came over a few hours after the call. She said yes.
I still remember how nervous I was. My mom told me he was here and I immediately went into panic mode. My heart started beating a mile a minute. I had never had anyone come over before like that so I was completely nervous and didn't know what to say. I remember him trying to kiss me and I accidentally kissed his chin. I had closed my eyes too early and hadn't really realized how much taller he was than me. I was so embarrassed. We had our first kiss in the middle of my room. It was so magical. It was unlike any other kiss I had ever had. We met up again a week later at Fun Park. I beat him in bowling and some other things too. Okay, just bowling. Everything was perfect, he was all I could have asked for. It's like he was my prince and I was the princess. He was my true love. I just knew it. My mom did not like his long hair. He got it cut just to continue to gain my mom's trust. His hair means a lot to him so apparently it was a big deal. I honestly thought it looked better cut. We went to the movies that Friday and saw Men In Black 3 I believe. WORST MOVIE EVER. Not that I was really paying attention...He and I became completely devoted to one another. He meant everything in the world to me.
We saw each other every day that summer. We did things that made us even more attached to one another. We were together three months. We had our future for the two of us planned out. Everything was perfect. His birthday,also our third month anniversary, came and everything changed. I asked if I could go to his house because it was his birthday. My mom said I couldn't go. That she needed to talk to me. I asked her what it was abut but she just kept pushing it away and saying she would talk to me when she was home. I waited, she had already stated that she didn't want me to see him anymore. I had been crying for a while. When she got home, her and my dad came in my room and told me they never wanted me to talk to or see "A" ever again. That it wasn't right. That I needed to focus on school. That he was threatening. I yelled back at everything they said. None of it was true. I had honor roll. Always had. Nothing was different except for the fact that he was the only one I hung out with. My parents told me I need to live my life and have a lot of friends. Not to worry about "A". About having a boyfriend. I fell to my knees in front of them begging for them not to follow through with what they were saying. I asked them if they even cared about my feelings. I could tell it hurt them but I wanted them to hurt more. It wasn't enough. They took my heart and through it in a blender. I wanted them to understand how I felt, they claimed they did. That because they knew how I felt they had to stop it before I got hurt. I didn't forgive them for the longest time. They blocked his number from my phone but I still had other ways to talk to him and I did.
We talked for about a week after what my parents said,then he broke up with me in the worst way possible. He didn't talk to me for four days. Wouldn't reply to any of my messages. I text my sister to tell him to call me. He sent her a message to give to me saying he was sorry and that i would never forgive him. It said that he loved me but he couldn't deal with my parents and not being able to see me. I understood but it hurt so much. I began talking to his cousin. He helped me through a lot and I began to have some feelings for him. Eventually it got to a point where he was the one I looked forward to talking to everyday. He became a special part of my life. I felt that nothing could happen between us though because I loved "A". I knew if I were to be with "J" it would ruin everything. "A" found out and made me choose because he and I had gotten back together. The only reason I continued to talk to "J" was because I wasn't getting the attention I used to get from "A" but from was from "J". I chose "A". I loved him. I liked "J" but feelings I had for anyone else could not compare to the feelings I had for "A". "A" and I talked sometimes after that. Continued to talk about how we wanted to be together, how we want to get married, and just how we want to spend the rest of our lives together. I love him. I always have since the day we met, and I always will until the day I die. He was my first love. So far, he has been my only love. He made my world light up. He was the one who made me change who I was. We were each others saviors. One day we will be one others companion for life.