My Story01 Nov, 2012 12:06 AM
6 years ago I was abused. My parents got divorced cause my dad threw my mom across the hall and she hit a wooden toy box. My sister got choked against a wall. I tried to stop him and he pushed me down.My sister's actually my cousin but her parents are dead and in a looney bin. I am his only daughter. He's changed. He's remarried. He promised me if he ever got married I would be the first to know. I didn't know till I got a text. "She said yes!" My mom's boyfriend hits my sister and the government got into it. Oh so much help. Now today I come home everyday to verbal abuse called a bitch or fat ass. Then my mom wonders why I don't talk to her. Today, Halloween, I went to school with make up on. I cried on the bus. The gym. Health class. Everyone saw. Then at lunch I talked to one of my friend's mom. I busted in tears. Saying everything. In front of 2 girls with big mouths.
What do i do? I fake a smile. EVERYDAY! And now it seems I can't put it back on. Dad doesn't care. Mom doesn't. I want this to end. I am a failure. I feel worthless. Like no one's there. Does anyone know what I feel? I need to know there's someone. Anyone. Who feels this. Feels ugly. Fat. Scared. I try to talk to mom. She doesn't listen. She won't even try. I just want someone to know this. I do talk about it! Maybe one day she will read this and understand. I go to school and look around to see a bunch of skinny beautiful girls who think their ugly. But yet I look at myself and look like crap. There's this guy who tells me I am ugly. He cusses me out. Calls me a bitch and that no one likes me. He thinks that smile he sees is real. What if he came home to what I deal with?
Sister screaming. Mom yelling. "Step dad" watching. I tried to stop it once. It didn't end well. I walk to my room and sit down. I heal myself with the help of this website and music. My 2 real true loves in life. You want to know the terrible part? I'm 12. In 7th grade. I cry myself to sleep. I want to throw something across the room all the time and yell. Kick my legs. Raise my voice. Make a mess. And watch someone clean it. Someone! Is anyone reading this? IS THERE SOMEONE OUT THERE LIKE ME? PLEASE JUST LET ME KNOW! Anyone..