Jessica01 Nov, 2012 12:06 AM
6 years ago I was abused. My parents got divorced cause my dad threw my mom across the hall and she hit a wooden toy box. My sister got choked against a wall. I tried to stop him and he pushed me down.My sister's actually my cousin but her parents are dead and in a looney bin. I am his only daughter. He's changed. He's remarried. He promised me if he ever got married I would be the first to know. I didn't know till I got a text. "She said yes!" My mom's boyfriend hits my sister and the government got into it. Oh so much help. Now today I come home everyday to verbal abuse called a bitch or fat ass. Then my mom wonders why I don't talk to her. Today, Halloween, I went to school with make up on. I cried on the bus. The gym. Health class. Everyone saw. Then at lunch I talked to one of my friend's mom. I busted in tears. Saying everything. In front of 2 girls with big mouths.
What do i do? I fake a smile. EVERYDAY! And now it seems I can't put it back on. Dad doesn't care. Mom doesn't. I want this to end. I am a failure. I feel worthless. Like no one's there. Does anyone know what I feel? I need to know there's someone. Anyone. Who feels this. Feels ugly. Fat. Scared. I try to talk to mom. She doesn't listen. She won't even try. I just want someone to know this. I do talk about it! Maybe one day she will read this and understand. I go to school and look around to see a bunch of skinny beautiful girls who think their ugly. But yet I look at myself and look like crap. There's this guy who tells me I am ugly. He cusses me out. Calls me a bitch and that no one likes me. He thinks that smile he sees is real. What if he came home to what I deal with?
Sister screaming. Mom yelling. "Step dad" watching. I tried to stop it once. It didn't end well. I walk to my room and sit down. I heal myself with the help of this website and music. My 2 real true loves in life. You want to know the terrible part? I'm 12. In 7th grade. I cry myself to sleep. I want to throw something across the room all the time and yell. Kick my legs. Raise my voice. Make a mess. And watch someone clean it. Someone! Is anyone reading this? IS THERE SOMEONE OUT THERE LIKE ME? PLEASE JUST LET ME KNOW! Anyone..
You might also like
I am broken inside...... - Felicia Fong29888 34
Thanks For The Memories - Olivia48794 34
My Life - mayflower31582 45
Breakup!! - John98327 117
The last words with my brother - DarknessAngel63725 61
CommentsPost a Comment
25 Jan, 2013 09:47 PM
Hi, I sometimes feel that way too. Just scream out loud. U r beautiful just the way u r.
25 Jan, 2013 09:49 PM
wow. Me too. I thought I was d only one who felt like this. Don't worry. One day ,everything will get better. my parents fight a lot(they didn't divorce- though I wish they did). Im bullied at home. Sometimes abused of. I am also 12(-soon gonna b 13)
One day something terrible happened at school-one of my frnds found out what I was doing to my self. -i was harming my self. Someone told my pshd teacher about this and now she always calls me out from class just so she can "try"&"help" me with this problem. But u know what?? - its making me feel worse! I need help-i know. ( I'm not telling u to harm urself-im trying to stop- harming urself doesn't
help at all)
I hope now u know that there is someone out there who understands what u r going through(-more or less ...)
Who knows. There might be someone out there who feels worse than u.
Your not alone.
I hope this helped a little.
25 Jan, 2013 11:21 PM
i feel so bad for you if you need someone to talk to please email me and why havent you asked someone to call children services? just email me im am here for you
26 Jan, 2013 01:14 AM
find God he loves you always will.
27 Jan, 2013 09:42 AM
There are and will always be someone in a worse situation than you.. Have faith that everything will be ok:) Yes it seen lik your parents don't care but at the end of the day they are your parents and not every family is perfect.. I know how it feels to be call ugly,fat n see ur mom get hit by a man:( if you ever need to talk I'm always free just email me Marleny.email@example.com I will reply back I promise<3 take care sweetheart and just remember NOBODY is perfect not even the most beautiful girl in earth .. Your beautiful no mater what<3
27 Jan, 2013 11:09 AM
OMG that happens to my bff.... she gets abused at home, she thinks nobody wants her, that shes ugly, fat... the worst thing is that she actually isnt!! she was depressed and self-harmed and tried to suicide a few times but i helped her trough and now she´s better. dont EVER give up... one day things will get better. rember, when things cant get any worse, at some point they have to get better <3 <3 all my wishes and good luck for you, hope you are happy sometime in life <3
P.S: Btw, im 13 and my friend is 13 too.
27 Jan, 2013 12:47 PM
Hey jessica im katrina. I know what your going though. I might not have been though the same thing but i been though similar stuff. Im 16 just four years old than u but i can help u if u would like. If u have an email message me at firstname.lastname@example.org ill willl not stop talking to u till u r better. Dont u ever feel like ur alone cause theres people iut there that will always help u. Give me a text ill be here waiting.
28 Jan, 2013 03:10 AM
I'm so srry to hear tht! Keep it head high girll! Don't let those haters win! I may not have seen u but ik ur beautiful bc every girl is!:) I'm suicadal to and I wanna tlk to someone tht has my problems to so message sometime ?:)
28 Jan, 2013 03:51 AM
I am so sorry this has happened to you and don't feel alone this happens to a lot of people I would love to share my story with you if you ever need anyone to talk too please feel free to contact me at my email email@example.com
28 Jan, 2013 04:24 AM
I'm 12 too and I've never been abused but i felt fat and ugly too. But then i realized that I'm beautiful and the reason why boys did not like me was because i was confident and they are scared to get with this body LoL. I found new friends and they are the best. Stay strong beautiful <3. Don't forget that someone in this world loves you and needs you, like me. Stay alive babe, you are beautiful
28 Jan, 2013 03:54 PM
I am about your age,a year older.I know how you feel,im a listener.People come to me to talk,but when its my turn to tlak no one listens.If you need to talk email me at Niki.firstname.lastname@example.org,i warn u though,im grounded right now so i wont be on as much
28 Jan, 2013 08:18 PM
stay strong.this wont last forever.
29 Jan, 2013 03:35 AM
You are not alone,Jessica.I'm Nikki and my situation is similar to yours...You see,I never had many friends but I used to have a happy family.Two years ago,my mother moved far away because of her job.Then,things changed...My father has changed and he doesn't care about me anymore.He is always out with his friends and he won't even get me something to eat when I ask him to.Also,my friends at school are not stable at all,if you know what I mean.I hang out with them just because I need them, but I hope that I'll find people who will like me for who I really am someday.With my friends,I have to pretend that I love all their ideas and agree with every fucking thing they say to me!!!Or else,our friendship is over.Also,I might give up sooo many hours talking to my 'best friends' at school and they still think of other people as their best friends and not me.They would easily leave me alone for someone more popular than me...This is so frustrating.Anyway,if you want to talk to someone about your problems,you can email me at email@example.com Who knows?Maybe if we share our pain,we'll both feel better!
07 Feb, 2013 09:28 PM
I know exactly what u feel like ..you feel like their is no one out their for u that no one cares and that no one will ever know how it feels to be like u but ik i go to school everyday with a fake smile on my face i think you and me should really talk im in 9th grade and im a girl i would love to talk to u
09 Feb, 2013 04:32 AM
They say that when something bad happens to a person now everything good will happen in the future just be positive
09 Feb, 2013 07:34 AM
Look dear, be strong and confident.
Everything gonna be alright..
Well if you would like talking to me,here is my email add.
13 Feb, 2013 11:04 AM
hey there angel, whatever your going through many others have not only experienced the same but got out just fine i might be one of those few people who really understand u perfectly well because have been there once when i thought no one cared and much worse understand me....and had noone to incourage me,but instead of using my problems as an excuse to failure I encouraged myself and used it as a reason why I must succeed. am now 19yrs old working in qatar airways as an airhotess
16 Feb, 2013 02:12 AM
Hi hoey . No you arent alone. I know how you feel . Worthless. Nobody cares ? But I do cart .
Beauty dosnet rely on weight. I am sorry on what your goin through & please mesasge me / email me if you ever are having a bad or bad thoughts or just need someone too talk too. I'm 13 year old girl so you can talk too me about anything & ill understand . Just remember that EVERYONE is
beautiful . My email is firstname.lastname@example.org
06 Apr, 2013 12:50 AM
I am sooooo sorryyyyy for you! I wish I could help. :( Just remember that you are perfect they way you are and that everything will be okay :_
20 May, 2014 07:27 PM
do not let anyone tell you you are not beautiful! no matter what someone calls you and says to you that hurts you know it is not true! and always be yourself and do not let anyone change that!
02 Dec, 2014 06:14 AM
Hey I'm 12 in seventh grade I know exactly what your going through, well I feel it, I get so depressed I cut on my knees, not my wrists I don't want people to see. But don't do it. Just get through middle school and high school then you can go to college wherever u want. That's what I'm doing. I always remember, "Just keep holding on LIFE WILL GET BETTER, it maybe stormy now but it CANT rain forever."
10 Oct, 2016 04:01 AM
Hey I .... don't know what to say to that but I can tell you that you aren't by yourself in this your strong of everything your life has thrown at you , don't listen to the people around you , God made you in his own way he sees you as his precious child I bet right now you hate him but don't God loves u even if you don't believe in him his next to u every time you cry he loves you so much. HE wants you to know that one day all the pain will go away he loves you and not to give up cause every mest up thing that people have done to you will pay and would look up to you and see what a beautiful girl you are don't listen to what people say take my advice all the pain will go away and you'll be happy and that day is near . And FYI I'm 15 ;)
07 Feb, 2018 03:19 AM
Hey, I have problems too. I feel the same way. But you know what I think of the good times that happen in my life and don't worry about the past or what's happening now. I think if you think of bad things then it just makes you more unconfident. Take it from me... God made all of use for a reason. He wouldn't make you and me to be in pain. I think everyone is pretty in a way. you are too and if its hurting really bad then think of the day were it all goes away, Because I know that that day will come. (I'm 12)