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MyBoogieBear(found and lost forever)

Bourne

01 Nov, 2017 05:08 PM

This is a sad yet romantic story about how I got very emotionally intimate with a man whom I didn't even know, in just 7 days. It was long that I dated somebody, so the crave to meet someone was on. I was surfing through the dating apps for a while now but I couldn't find anyone interesting. Then I saw his profile, this cute, chubby, blue eyed, innocent looking man and I knew in an instant that I wanted to date him.His profile said he likes to cuddle and I thought he looks so cuddly, would love to do it with him. I was nervous if he would like me as well but then he did and we decided on meeting. When I saw him for the first time, I was surprised that he looked much cuter than his picture on the app, usually its the other way around, and before even I could compliment him about his looks, he said the same thing to me. I was just speechless. It was at that instant that I guessed that it's gonna be a really strong connection between us. But then I came to know that he was in the city for just 3 more weeks and then he'd be gone back to other side of the world where he came from. I also got to know that he has a partner back in his home and they are in a relationship together. I was disappointed, but then I knew I wasn't looking for something serious either. All I wanted to have was sex with someone cute and sexy.

The night we spent together was way more than just a one night stand as I couldn't let him off my arms and neither could he, and we ended up kissing and cuddling the entire night. His opinion about cuddling was that it is something more intimate than sex and that I realized later that it's true. Usually in my casual encounters, I never stay long with the other person after sex, I go away just after sometime but then with him I ended up staying the whole night and loved every second of it. And in the morning as I was getting ready to go back there was a moment when he held me from behind very gently and kissed at the back of my shoulder while looking at my face in the mirror smiling, it gave me goosebumps and I knew I had to meet him more than that. Just after out first meeting, I had to go back to my hometown for 2 weeks, and we were upset about it. As I informed him that this would only give us 7 days to meet when I come back, he said, "I will wait for you and not look for anyone else, out of so many people, I've selected you!" and I just laughed shyly.

The two weeks I was away from him felt like 2 years as I struggled to cut the time desperate to go back, we were constantly texting each other on the phone getting to know more about us, sharing our whereabouts and schedule and also showing much care. It was already like we were in a relationship without any proposals, such was the care and trust he showed.

2 weeks later, time to come back and I was jumping off my seat during the entire travel, very restless. After having traveled an entire night, finally when I reached the back in the morning, I had no intention of resting or falling asleep. I just wanted to go to his hotel room and be in his arms ASAP. By evening, I finally found myself in his arms, and it was the longest hug I've probably ever had. We kissed, we made love and we cuddled again the entire night, inside each other's arms. He became aware that I am very sensitive on some parts and I feel ticklish, so he would tickle me from time to time, making me burst with laughter and I would shout STOP!! and then I would also try to tickle him but failing every time. That's when I named him 'My Boogie Bear'. And from then on, whenever he tickled me, I laughed and called him 'My Boogie Bear'. The first time when we were at shower together, he started cleaning me and bathing me from top to toe like I was a baby. He literally bent down and cleaned my feet and I was in loss of words. There were moments of romance, passion, laughter, love and aww between us. We wouldn't be tired of being in each other's arms and I told him that I can't have enough of you babe and he gave me a wonderful kiss back. For the rest of the days, we spend as much time as we possibly could together. I would be in his hotel room as soon as he came back from work. We travelled together, saw romantic movies while we literally hugging and laying down on the couch for hours. Went for dining and also shared a lot of thoughts upon various topics. I realized that he was a very sophisticated and sensible man and his thoughts would often match with mine which brought me closer to him and even before I could realize I was in love with this guy instead of what I thought it would be just a casual encounter.

As his departure date came closer, the fear of losing him forever got into me and one day I asked him if he would come back for me, He replied "if given a chance yes". I bombarded him with questions of coming back and making it possible for us to meet again but his replies were casual like if fate favored yes, maybe otherwise I don't know, not directly but skillfully sugarcoating his words so as to not be rude. I almost forgot that he was in a relationship already, I didn't show any immediate reaction but I knew it would take a toll on me later. On his last day of travel, I was supposed to go to work, but I took an off to spend more time with him and I also gifted him a t-shirt which he wore and looked very cute on. We kissed and hugged for hours and hours that last night, and in the morning I was already sad, I tried to hide my emotions and bid him farewell and safe travels. As I went away back to my apartment, I felt as if something inside my chest is trying to rip me apart. I tried to remain strong and not cry and I said it to myself, its not the first time you've dated and been apart from someone, relax! but the overwhelming feeling of sadness was not done yet. I thought making myself busy would help so I tried to do a lot of work as soon as I came back but his face and the moments we've spent together kept playing in front of my eyes like a flashback. And then I had to sleep, I somehow managed to go to sleep but just after an hour or so my hands were literally moving by the bed trying to find My boogie bear beside me. I forgot for a moment about his departure and thought he'd be by my bedside as he had been for the last 7 nights. But unable to find, I opened my eyes and came back to my senses and realized that he's gone forever, very very far. In an instant, I broke into tears and tears of loss and saudade flooded my face. My pillow completely drenched and even after an hour, I still couldn't stop myself from crying. The tough man that I thought I'd become who would never cry was unable to stop crying. I was crying so loud, I feared the neighbors would come listening to it. So I had to bury my face in the pillow and cry.

I don't know if he was as much in love with me as was I or he was just doing a good job trying to hide his emotions, but he never conveyed me that he was sad that we've parted, but I think it's obvious that he would've been sad as well. When I texted him about how sad I am that we've parted, he texted back "Make better boundaries next time so you could enjoy and not be saddened by something nice of short term" and I don't blame him if he's become so mature or shall I say manipulative of his feelings to not be saddened instead, I'm happy that he doesn't have to suffer as I'm doing for I loved him so much, I would go through his part of the pain as well happily but would not want him to suffer. It's been some time now and here I am still not able to recover from his thoughts, not able to focus on anything, and the very image of him tickling me and me shouting stop my boogie bear haunts me every time I go to bed, makes me wanna cry and succumb to darkness.

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