I love you dad </3 (kinda long)08 Jul, 2011 03:45 PM
It's about 5 years ago since that terrible thing happened and it won't just get out of my mind.
It was summer 2007 and we planed to travel to an island in our country with some family friends.there were me,my mom,dad and my older sister.we all suppose to go on the road till there with our friends...very nice trip it was...on the road,different places and having fun...
It was evening when we arrived to our destination.that island was really great,nice weather and nice beach,at night we all went to walk at beach with friends and family...the sea was perfect but the waves were scary.
We all had fun and we were all together having fun till midnight.
the day after that night began...it was morning and we decided to go to beach with some of our friends.
The weather was so hot,some decided to swim...sun was above of our heads...very annoying heat was for me.i was standing next to my dad,my sister were still at villa and my mom was standing further and talking with her friend...i was looking around then suddenly i shocked and noticed that I'm all wet cause the high waves.
That was the moment i got really angry and as the situation wasn't on my taste so i decided to get back to the villa,villa was kinda far from beach and i wasn't sure where exactly it was.
I said to my dad:just fucking great,look at me!! i'm going back to villa...my dad said:it's ok,u just got wet...no big deal,you will feel cool now :D...we all will go soon.
and i replied:no it's not ok if u not coming with me i'll go by my self.he said:u don't know the way back there and i just said: i'll find my way and turned my back and leave there angry...
Hopefully i found my way easily back to villa when i got there my sister was ready to go to beach and join the others she asked me if i wanna go with her...then i explained for her what happened and showed her the way to the beach.
I dried my self and changed my clothes,after 1 hour i decided to get back to beach...but my shoes was wet and i wasn't able to use them,i also went to get my other shoes from our car...but the car doors were locked and only my dad got key.
So i couldn't go,i waited for them in villa and there were also a women there with me that i didn't know her well,she was also a friend.
Time passed and it was noon,i was sitting in living room when i saw 1 of our friends ran into villa,she was terrified and worry...i didn't know what happend she just talked to the women that was in villa with me.
I waited and waited but my family didn't come back,i asked from that women that what happen?she just said:the women that ran in,her husband was about to drown...he's at hospital now.
I waited again...then suddenly i saw my mom and my sister came back with eyes full of tears and shocked faces...and most my mom.they came back with our friends...
My dad wasn't with them,i was worry and i asked my sister:where is dad?she was calm,and said:he's at hospital.
i said:dad!!???in hospital!???it was all i heard from her.
I was in shock and also worry,everybody were in a room,talking and crying slowly...i thought something might happen for that girl's husband that was about to drown.i started to pray,i wanted my dad back from god...i praised that he get well and come back soon.
Time passes and nothing changed,only a few of our friends came back from hospital and also that woman's husband.i went out of villa and staring at the empty streets...but i didn't see my dad.
i got back inside and went to our room,my sister was there and look very sad...i asked her:when dad will come back??
and she just said with dropping tears:HE NEVER COMES BACK,HE'S DEAD.
No one can understand what i felt that moment,i was in shock...i sat on bed slowly and kept my neck,i couldn't even cry...i couldn't breathe,didn't know what to do.i put my hands in front of my mouth as tears were slowly drop from my eyes...no sound came out of me.
my sister looked at me while she was crying and she said:don't keep it.....CRY.
That was the moment i felt i blew like a bomb...all my tears came out and i was screaming:...DAD...
no one could calm me that moment,it was like the world ended for me...i couldn't eat anything for many days.
As we decided to get back to our city,we moved on next morning.and cause we all was in bad situation a guy that was also friend decided to drive us car and bring us to our city.
i don't know how we got home,my dad was the only one in my mind.
Later on i found out everything about that terrible happening.
in fact my dad has a bit heart disease,but never felt like it was serious...i found out the guy who took us home was about to drown and my dad went to save him...so as he saved him and pushed him so he could reach the seashore,but they waves were long and my dad tried so hard to get to seashore,he pressured very hard and he got heart attack...that didn't let him survive...
After that happening i never had my smile back till 3 years,i wanted to die...it was hard for me to live without him and day by day i crashed inside.no one knew how i suffered these years cause of this pain.
Now it's 5 years passing and i dealt with it but not completely, because this pain is still with me and will always stay with me inside,i still can't believe he's gone...i can never believe...and nobody know how i feel.
I still feel the same and it's still kinda fresh for me...but i always try to get rid of it.i really feel bad when i remember it...it was all meant to be,all meant to happen...
The night before that happening i felt something deep in my heart about my dad when i was watching him singing...i watched him before when he was singing back in the old days,but never felt like that i had that night.
that night i felt really wired and happy when i was with my dad...me and my dad were sitting in our car,he was driving real slow,the music was loud and all friends were dancing and walking next to our car in street,we all had fun...
That day at beach i was suppose to get wet to go back to villa and the car doors meant to be locked that i couldn't get my shoes and go back and see that happening....it all meant to happen :(
Now that these years passed,i still feel his empty place...
I never got a chance to tell him how much i love him,didn't get a chance to apologize that i talked to him that way in beach...
now that I'm writing this story with my eyes full of tears...i wish he was still with us and i could spend more time with him:(
*thanks for reading my life story and feel free to leave comment*