Vote -69

Keep still loving him

PinkMolly

27 Aug, 2015 11:56 PM

last year I went on a school camp, it was a survival camp so it meant no showers or actual toilets. i was at my worst (looked really bad). there was guy that was on the camp that i really liked. we ended up making out in the tents while everyone else was having fun and making dinner and no one noticed us gone. we talked alot after that for a few weeks but it slowly died down.

On the summer holidays there was a beach party that i was invited to, i went and took a best friend with me because i wasn't sure if anyone i really liked would be there... I was wrong, he was there, the i liked. we talked alot that night and my friend ditched me to hangout with some others. I was quite drunk and had absolutely no clue what i was doing. he wasn;t drunk though, he didnt drink that night becaise he had work the next day. he took me home and stayed till i fell asleep. when i woke up the next day there was a note from him saying the things i did last night, i laughed reading it.

on new years there was another party and i went and guess who was there? yep, him. we had a new years kiss and this time i wasn't pissed off my face thankfully because he wasnt either. we went back to his and i was kind of scared that he would want to have sex (I'm still a virgin) but he didnt, we just layed in bed and talked and eventually fell asleep.

we talked quite alot for a few weeks and again it slowly died down. later on in the year there was another school camp, it was a really really really bud ride to gte to our destination. we drove through the night and into the next day. hey but guess who i sat with the whole time? HIM! we made out along the way at night. the next day we stopped at a truckstop to get food, i wen to the bathroom and i had hickeys nearly all over my neck, thankfully i had a scarf to hide them. On the way back from the camp we made out again but this there was touvhing, he put his hand down my bra but i stopped him from getting down there. i toucvhed him too. we got home and i didnt hear from him for a few days and i got so upset becaise i couldnt stop thinking about him, he was constantly on my mind. this is when i started to realise i was falling for him, HARD.

a few days later, another camp, we went to an island. i didnt talk to him much on this camp and it really killed becuse he was in my group for studies and getting data and whatnot. we would only talk about the task and noithing else. He didnt even look at me much.
the second day of the camp he started tuning and flirting with aniother girl, right in front of me. I was about to cry becaise he knows how i feel about him, maybe not to extent of loving him but he knew. that night, I walked into our room that we were in and the girl he was flirting with was bunking wiht me, i walked in and he was in there and so was she but i ignored it. they were sitting beside eachother on the bed and talking and laughing, i was so jealous. when it was time to put the lights out i thought he would leave to go back to his room, he didn;t, he stayed.. woith her, they had the lamp on beside them and i could see everything, i dont think they noticed but i was watching almost everything they did. about 1 hour after, they kissed, i couldn't help it, i ran out of the room slamming the door behind me. my best friend came running after me, but he didnt.

few days after the camp, he messaged me on facebook and acted like everything was fine with us but i didnt talk much and said i wanted to sleep but i didnt.
the next day at school he came and sat with my group, he wasn;'t talking to me alot but he made some eye contact. the other girl came over amnd sat wiht him, they talked alot, when she got up to leave, he got up and hugged her and then sat back down. the next day a friend and i were talking about him and she said he mentioned to her about kissing me on the bus and then she said he also mentioned that it was only a one time thing even though she knew about the other camp she went along with it. hearing the "Only a one time thing" broke me completely. i dont know how to feel anymore, my heart is shattered into a million pieces and i cry nearly every night, he hasn't been at school for a few days, i know something is up, but i don't think i want to bother him, it was only a one time thing after all.

it may have been just one time thing to him and he may haven broken me but i still love him, he still means alot to me

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bae_key says:
23 Sep, 2015 01:08 PM

If he said it was a one time thing then he's not worth it.
I know how you feel...
Iv'e been treated like trash before. But if he doesn't see how valuable you are then he's a waste of your time.
Just act like you don't care, don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you heartbroken.

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Unyc says:
25 Sep, 2015 09:36 PM

Atleast u wa able 2 tel hm u lv hm rather thn keepin t 2 ur lonely hrt...althgh t hrt 2 see ur guy wid sm1 else

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Jessica says:
27 Sep, 2015 03:08 PM

He's just a fucking dick head

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Madman says:
12 Nov, 2015 06:34 AM

So many teenagers n0wadays take n treat <3 like a game..bad..

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Happinesss says:
06 Dec, 2015 02:29 PM

If I were in your place I would pull him aside and ask him wtf are we are we just benifits or what Becuz i have feeling for you but idk about you you have a choice fuck off get out of my life or stay and be with me

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Justthat says:
17 Dec, 2015 12:27 PM

I know how you feel. But for me its better to move on and forget about him.a real guy who is interested in loving you will do the effort himself. And that (one time thing ) I suppose if he really likes u, he would tell something like that.not being so bitter but its the reality. There are million of guys around you. Open your heart to someone else. The man who loves you will do the effort himself and respect you. Dont give the precious thing for a moment. Maybe that guy take only advantage on u.

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Justthat says:
17 Dec, 2015 12:28 PM

He wouldn't I mean.

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Edie says:
02 Jan, 2016 03:23 PM

I feel you , sorry about that but all I can say is God is there for you always has and always will

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Amesinde says:
06 Jan, 2016 09:40 PM

Am sorry abt ur plight but u'll av 2 give up or u will be a tear drop in an ocean of flames, like a musician said

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Brilliant says:
12 Mar, 2016 01:56 PM

it so sad dear but try to remove him from your mind slowly and replace him with something else like be busy doing what makes you happy.

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titilayo says:
29 Mar, 2016 08:57 PM

If I were in your place, I will let him known that I have grown 2 strong, 2 ever fall back in his arm.

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Ihlaiza says:
27 Jun, 2016 08:28 AM

He's totally fucked up. Anyways, at least you were able to feel the "feeling" that you had when you were with him. It was at first fine but things/people change so we need to get along with it. Him saying, it was only one time, he is not worth it. He is not a person that you wish to keep. Move on girl. There are still a lot of good guys out there. ?

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emilyb says:
15 Jul, 2016 09:24 PM

I so know how yo feel its a terrible feeling!!!

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rosiey says:
16 Aug, 2016 04:26 AM

nice story I can feel it and it touch my me

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Mist says:
01 Oct, 2016 04:10 PM

It's like he used use but you showed your love by being used. That's what love is.

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