Love lingers Two years later03 Mar, 2013 11:37 AM
It was a cold rainy night.. I met up with him the day after our huge argument. I parked outside his house as I usually did every night and as I opened my door he was already standing outside waiting for me. as soon as i opened the door he grabbed my hand and led me inside his room. We locked eyes and we both knew what was going to happen that very moment. He began to explain how disappointed he was in me and he's had enough.
i was wrong, I knew I was. I pathetically began to weep and beg for forgiveness. He held my hand and told me it was best we were friends and as he's eyes got watery... He walked to the opposite side of the room and had his head in his hands and said, "I care about you so much.. Why is this so hard..."
This breakup lasted five hours long. Holding each other and crying the entire time. I knew he didn't want to let me go, but was determined to stick to his gut. He shouldn't have trusted me at the time. I had no choice but to agreed the breakup was for the best. I was so stupid and didn't know what was good for me at the time. I didn't realize how good he was to me and how much I really loved him till it was too late...
I tried to forget about him but I couldn't. I fell into a deep depression.. Something I never felt before. I even tried apologizing to him time and time again. it did not work..As I write this I can't help but feel a cloud of sadness dawn on me once again. Two failed relationships and two years later I still think of him and wish we were together again. The happiness I felt when we were together... Still has not been replaced.
He is happy with someone new now but when he bumps into my friends he still asks about me...how I am etc...but refuses to talk to me directly. We've bumped into each other a few times and I truly still feel like he still cares for me as I do for him. The look he gives me but doesn't say a word gives me chills down my spine. This is obviously wishful thinking.. So I go on with my affairs trying to find a replacement significant other in hopes he is the one. But deep down inside... I know... I've already lost him...
I know life goes on and things like this makes you who you are today. I know I've grown and matured so much because of this experience. I've learned to recognize a good thing when it's in front of me now. But I can't help how I feel sometimes. I can't help that I still love him till this day and although I wish the best for his new life and relationship I wish I could turn back the hands of time and do everything over again..