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One Sided Crush


23 Oct, 2010 07:29 PM

Although it's not as sad as other stories posted on this website, I just really want to put out my feelings, and let it go.

The first time I met him was in journalism class. Even though I'm a freshman, I still can have classes with upperclassmen in electives such as this one.

I haven't really thought of the upperclassmen, I felt that they were people I didn't really need to associate with because we were in different grades. But I talked to some of them, by connecting with golf, and some funny stories, until I talked to him.

He's a great guy, smart, funny, someone I know is really mature. But I realized that he was 17/18, I was really sad, what kind of senior would go out with a freshman right?

But I still talked to him, IMed him, and just plain enjoyed myself when I'm with him. I asked him a few personal questions on form spring, and he found out, and it's awkward.

And when I realized he had someone he liked, I felt pretty crushed.

The worst part is where I also have another elective (graphic design) with some upperclassmen, and I sit next to his friend. We talked and he realized somewhat are partially that I like him. He told me that he would ask me out on a date on Saturday. Of course, before I had graphic design, I had journalism, but the guy I liked had no mention about this whatsoever.

But then again, we couldn't really talk a lot, because our assigned seats put us far away. To make things more clearer, we could talk a lot because this class is in a Mac Lab, and we sat next to each other and talked a lot. With assigned seats we couldn't talk a lot, but I still went up to him and talked about random things such as Halloween costumes for our school assembly.

It just crushed me. I've never met a guy like him, and he's someone I would really feel like would make a great friend, and companion. But it might just be me. I've never felt this strongly about a person before, and previous crushes never felt like this.

I know it's not as sad as some of you think, but to me, I feel that I couldn't have felt worse. I've never had a boyfriend before, I never had my first kiss, I was hoping that it could have been him.

I know I shouldn't even look at him like that because he's a senior. Sooner or later I will move on, but on this website, I just wanted to write down how I feel and let it go.

I'm sure it'll be a stepping stone to find someone that I will truly like. One day, one day.

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Ashura Glitch says:
21 Mar, 2011 07:47 AM

Well i have to say this, i feel your pain, one sided crushes can really take a toll on you. Expecily when your ages and grades are so different. I'm glade you posted your story on this website. I really enjoyed it, and you really touched me. I feel your pain.

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Sam Sawyer says:
18 Jun, 2011 07:51 PM

Strange is the path when you offer Love!

Do not mention the name of love,
O my simple-minded companion.
Strange is the path
when you offer your love.
Your body is crushed at the first step.

If you want to offer love
be prepared to cut off your head
and sit on it.
Be like the moth,
which circles the lamp and offers its body.
Be like the deer, which, on hearing the horn,
Offers its head to the hunter.
Be like the partridge,
Which swallows burning coals
in love of the moon.
Be like the fish
Which yields up its life
When separated from the sea.
Be like the bee,
Entrapped in the closing petals of the lotus.

Mira's lord is the courtly Giridhara (God).
She says: Offer your mind and heart to those lotus feet. (Surrender to the Lord).

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