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Hopeless...

Unknown

17 Sep, 2018 03:16 PM

It was during 8th grade year that I first saw her. She was beautiful, but I couldn't admit that I wanted her. I lied to myself, while yearning for her. I remember a friend telling me his friend liked her, my heart raced. I wonder why? Soon I became attached to her. I would often take glance at her secretly. Looking back at the clock just too take a glance at her. Faking a stretch just just take a glance at her. Soon I began to realize where this was going. It was weird because I had a dream that warned me to not fall in love with her. I didn't understand it. Maybe it was because I was still in love with my first love in 4th grade.

Although I was in love with another girl I couldn't stop thinking about her. I eventually stopped myself though.

Freshmen year came, and I finally saw my first love again. I believed I would always fall in love with her, but I was wrong. After not seeing and not having communication with her for four years, I realize who it was that I really cared for. It was you. And I finally understand that dream.

The thoughts of you returned, the feelings for you grew. I never thought I would ever say I love you, but I did. When I found out you liked someone else it broke my heart. But why can't I let you go? Because I have this hopeless love. When I realize you two broke up, my hopes grew again.
When we often see eyes to eyes, my hopes grew. When you take glances at me, my hopes grew. What I did not know was that, they were all a coincidence.
Unknowingly, I fell deeper into this hopeless love.

I finally confessed to you, told you how I feel. Although I was nervous, I was prepared. Prepared to be heartbroken. And I was. You told me you had someone in mind and it seems to me I was never a thought of your mind. I felt bad for making you feel sorry. I'm sorry you had to reject me. Even though I was only in your background, I'm glad I was able to talk to you, even if it was for the first and the last time.

But why, why do I still love you after all these heartbreaks? Why can't I stop thinking of you? Why can't I let go of you? I forced myself to let you go, but my hopes grew again and I couldn't stop it. I'm still in love with you.

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