Till death do me apart...05 Nov, 2016 01:30 AM
Sooo...I haven't visited this site for a long time.I used to read all the stories when i was depressed.Found people that shared my pain and feelings.Let me introduce myself firs.My name is not important,im only a poet that will stay with his pen ,until im seeing her.This is a story about how one person changed my life,and saved me from myself.
One year ago...i was so bad at the time.I was soo lonely,i used to stay at home,doing nothing,spending my days writing stuff,about nothing of worth.I was just wasting air.But then something happened ,something i cant describe.It was a girl i met.She had a boyfriend,so i lost my hopes,of doing anything at all with her.She was in long term relationship,and i was a nice guy and didnt want to ruin someone's life.The night i met her,we spend the whole evening togheter,talking,smiling at each other,cuddling...watching sunrise...yeah...maybe best night of my life.I know i was pitiful.We continuing seeing each other,and i started to like her.And one night...she kissed me.Then she broke up...and the next thing i was her boyfriend.I knew that i was no good,but i lived my days for her.She started to mean everything to me.At least for some time.Then i found out she has been cheating on me with her ex boyfriend.That just smashed my world.Torn my hearth apart.I was lost,depressed,in pain...But as pathetic as i was,i pretended i know nothing,and continue with her.And the most awful thing i loved her,i loved her more than anything.But she was just playing with me...playing with my feeling, my hearth,my life,my love...And finally the day came when she broke up with me.I was obsessed with this thought that if you can't find something to live for,than you better find something to die for.I started being obsessed with suicide.But breaking up ,didn't mean she will threw me away.She continued to play with me.I was her...i dont know...i was hers,thats the exact phrase.
We did everything again,difference she had a boyfriend.Anyway i was soo pathetic that i did everything just to be with her again...until.
Well it passed a couple of months like that.Then one day she came up with her new friend.Im not good at this stuff,but she was the most perfect girl i've ever seen.I fell for her the first time i saw her looking at me.I dreamed of her appearance.We started to get close,she made me realize what im doing with my life.She saved me.I started loving her,but i couldn't tell her...i just couldn't.Didn't had the strength.I started spending less time with my ex and more with her.Then i kinda stop seeing my ex,we both kinda stop being friends with her.That was the power she gave me.
Anyway time had passed fast.We started getting close.Everytime we saw each other we would hug so tight.That was the feeling that i needed,and i begun loving her even more.But this aint a fairy tail,this is life,and you always get fucked no matter what.One night while being with me and my friends,one of my friend kissed her.I havent been this broken...the pain i felt...just broke me.After some time ,the guy dumped her.Then i saved her.I start doing things for her,to make her feel like she is worth,spending my days with her.And i succeed.But something made her disappear from me.She stopt calling,and we stopt seeing each other.For a cople of months.
I kinda missed her,but i tought thats it.She just didn't want me or things like that.The things we did togheter,the words she said to me,left to be only memory...and even the time she said to me that she loves me.I still remember that moment perfectly without any gap.
Anyway three months ago,i saw her again.This time she had a new boyfriend and she was happy.I never saw her smiling like that.I was happy for her.But wasnt happy for myself.Anyway i dont want to waste time for you all.If you stay to read this far ,just stay a little while longer.
Time had passed and i got a girl.Life has changed...well it was changed.But not for long.She broke up.And i saw her tearz once more.I hug her so tight,and i said this lie that everything is going to be okayy.I knew she didn't believe in that.I didn't either.But i love her...
I month ago i started writing my thoughts on paper.I started writing about her.I came up with this idea to give her my notebook.And on the day of my birthday 31 October,i gave her,and told her i want to hear her thoughts about my writings.At least i had that power now,to tell her i love her,finally...but in my style.I was a nice person before i got my hearth broken.But i will stay her poet forever.Till death do me apart.As you know she has the notebook,right now.Maybe she is reading it ,maybe not,who knows.Im just finally happy for myself...The things that didn't happened in life ,happened in my writings...Thats the thing i realized.Words fly away,but writings remain.She will forever stay my girl between the lines of my notebook.The love i created with my ink...