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Knowing its going to happen

Person in love

05 Sep, 2010 01:25 AM

I'm 15 and live in Michigan, every relationship i had
was bullshit, they all cheated every single girl i had, they talked to guys behind my back they made me feel like shit. I thought i was going to give up on love, I'm 15 and went through so much crap so i figured love is something that will never happen. Then it started.
My friend was sleeping over my house and one of my best friends
had his friend call me and act like a dumb blond so i guess it was a prank call, But i knew who was talking because i remember my friend talking about this girl named Jessica that he met and stuff. So i said Hi Jessica and shes like how do you know and she ended up getting annoyed of me so she said hang up you are annoying me. i said alright sorry. then that was the last of her for a week, i ended up calling her the next week and we got into conversation, we've been talking for about a month now and i really love her. I'm actually in love with her and i know if i lose her it'll be the end for me, i don't want to go through the pain that my ex's put me through especially because i love her so much that if she hurts me it'll hurt way more. We always talk about ''us'' and she said she doesn't want a relationship she wants to have fun this summer and i told my friends that and they said shes just saying that to see her guy options and sadly i believe them. I told Jessica everything and how i feel about her, how i love her so much and she said it doesn't matter if we don't have a relationship we have our own and she made me happy. But I'm scared.. School starts in 3 days and i know she can get better.. I figured if i asked her out it would save me from everything but she doesn't want a boyfriend now. she said ask me when school starts and i said schools coming soon! and she said i didn't mean right when school starts. my heart dropped, i need her shes my everything it hurts me when i tell her i love you and she doesn't reply, but i know she likes me she tells me I'm the only one that doesn't annoy her and she loves talking to me. i asked her '' do you think in a month or two, your going to look back and say it started with a prank call'' and she said yeah.. but I'm so scared to lose her. i don't want to i made her my everything now if she leaves then i wont have anything. i hate my life just for loving her and i cant stand her telling another guy i love you just if she means it as friends. i want her to have friends but i don't want it to be more then friends.. shes the beat to my heart.. and i need advice.<3

Tags: Help, Love
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