Vote -142

I'm sorry I left you

Jillian L

15 Oct, 2015 07:43 PM

I was 14 when this happened.

I was on Facebook one day and I was going through my friend requests so I requested to be this guy names Steven to be my friend. A few days later he accepted it. We started messaging and getting to know each other. After about a month we exchanged phone numbers and emails. I grew on him and he grew on me. We started to show how much we like each other.

One day he asked me on Facebook if I had Skype and so I gave him my skype. That night we were on skype for 3 hours. We talked about music and I met his brother. He later asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Like all girls do when they really like someone I said yes. We were together for about a month. Then out of no where he messages me saying " I can't be with you anymore". When I read that I cried so much. I whispered to my self " what did I do? I love you! Why doesn't he love me back?" I called him that night so I could know why he ended this. He was afraid that his dad would get mad at him.

A few weeks later we forgot that we were even together so he thought. We talked on the phone every night. He used to sing to me a lot and talk about his dogs. One night he was singing a song called Battleships by Daughtry. I fell in love with the song. Especially when he sang it.

A few months later we got into a big fight. He was lying about having paranoia. So I emailed him this :
I'm fucking done with your shit and I asked for you to not push me but you did anyway i even said please don't push me so if I asked for you to not to if we were with each other you wouldn't reaspect my order and I can't trust you ever again cause you would still do it anyway. You think you can have everything your way but you can't because there are other people's way and you should respect that you are not the only person that exists on this planet but you aren't other people exist and I care about you but I am not so sure about that. you should not get my love and affection anymore. I thought that you really changed from the last time I was with you but you haven't changed a single bit. You little shit so fuck you and I hope you don't come crying back to me cause I have had it with you so much I can't handle it and you lie. Every word you say is a lie and I don't want to deal with it. Also I know that every word I say just goes in one ear and straight out the other. Your eyes are sealed shut and you won't be bothered to open them I have mine open wide but you still have them closed. You have had yours closed for some time now and now I see why all of your ex's cheated on you because you are a liar and a fucking ass hole. You also have you head shoved up your ass so far you don't even know what to do with your self. You can't pull it out cause you are too stupid to know how to.

Going back to the whole paranoia crap that you are trying to pull you are just a fucking liar you don't even know how it feels to have paranoia. I can tell that you don't and all you are doing that for is attention. That is all you want pitty and attention. Well you can go find some one stupid enough to believe you and have fun with that because I am not dealing with it. Also if you had paranoia you wouldn't even pick up the phone. You would be way to scared to even be around people and to go out side. You would be in a well lit locked room with a knife every noise you hear you would be on alert and you would get no sleep and you would almost starve yourself to death until you finally convinced your self to eat. I have to convince all of my paranoia friends to eat each and every day.
You need to understand that other people exist and I shouldnt put time and effort on something that just flushes it down the drain and doesn't give time and effort back. All you do is take and take you never give back. I have been there for you and all of your problems and I bothered to take time to call you and talk to you and see how you are doing you didn't do that at all a single bit so I am not doing that anymore and everything I am saying now you are just going to ignore cause that is what you do best. Why bother trying to help you become a better person when you don't even care. Right now you need severe help or you are going to get no where in life if you keep this crap up. I don't even why I am taking my time right now to reach out to you and help you when all you are going to do is nothing you are just going to keep doing what you are doing and not change I am trying in my best effort to help you but you are doing nothing in return and you aren't changing.

We haven't talked since and I really miss him... I have tried to take my life because of how much pain I am in. Steven if you are reading this I still love you and I'm sorry.

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Riii says:
30 Oct, 2015 11:25 PM

to be honest what sort of relationship is that, honestly you guys only spoke on Facebook and Skype. have you even met each other to call it true love

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Jillian L says:
03 Nov, 2015 11:23 AM

I did meet him. I used to live in the same town when I was 8 but moved when I was 11. Then I visited him twice since then.

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Kelsi says:
14 Nov, 2015 04:21 PM

That is so sad im still crying and i was in the same situation once

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Lances says:
17 Nov, 2015 05:33 PM

Sorry for your loss haha

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Michalla says:
21 Nov, 2015 01:14 AM

Wow girl this is a part of ur life dnt let him ruin i this was choosen to u to happen and if anothrt boy comes to u dnt reject hime cause of steven move on and dnt risk ur life over something god choose for u

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Jillian L says:
24 Nov, 2015 10:10 PM

You know Lances you are a total dick... Not to be offensive but seriously. If you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all...

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Kira says:
07 Dec, 2015 11:18 PM

Omg. I'm so sorry.

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Maria lea says:
09 Dec, 2015 11:00 AM

OmG hahahahah

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snehall says:
09 Dec, 2015 04:59 PM

so sad i hope you get him back
im also in love with a guy i met online but he thinks that im just attracted to him and it wont last but i really love him so i said just wait and watch .....i really need him we never even met each other

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Ardee says:
14 Dec, 2015 01:45 AM

Hmm send this story to FEU secret files I hope this will be posted.

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skhem says:
18 Dec, 2015 09:06 PM

Ohh very sad, any1 has a time plis help her to wipe her tears hahaha

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Sabrina says:
19 Dec, 2015 10:55 AM

Sweety, this isn't love. Sounds like young people that don't do much with their lives and just started crushing on each other and enjoying each other's conversations.. You miss the comfort in his voice and conversation. That's okay. But it's not love. The way you emailed him and talked to him was fucked up in all kinda ways. So yeah maybe you should think before you say the fucked up things you do. And trying to take your life or hurting yourself won't solve a damn thing. You're gonna get past this and you're gonna later find true love and laugh at all this skype shit you once thought was love. Trust me.

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Samanthas sister says:
21 Dec, 2015 05:12 AM

Sweetheart. You are so young and innocent and sweet. My sister samantha hung herself four years ago. She was my very best friend. Ahe was beautiful and amazing and had her whole life ahead of her but she took her life. Don't harm yourself. Cuting is stupid and leaves ugly scars. If you feel the need to harm yourself because you feel so overwhelmed then you need to come up with another way of releasing your pain. I have found comfort in music. I dance and sing and music comforts me and the excersize releases all the extra energy that my sadness and anger give me. Find your own personal source of release. Cutting is immature. You dont want people to look at you and say oh look how childish she is do u? Anyways you were mean to your ex but thats ok. I myself cant stand to be lied to. I hate when people act phoney. Its so irratating. Its like come on do u really think o am stupid enough to believe u?? My advice is to stay far away from thos guy. Hes just too immature for you and he was just playing a game and pretending to be something he wasnt. You only miss him because hes not there but if he was there you would be irratated by him again and wish he never came back. You can do better. Love u.

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Samanthas sister says:
21 Dec, 2015 05:18 AM

P.s. dont take offense to people laughing at u or telling you that its not love. I know you have real valid feelings about this and you are the one who knows how u feel. I am 33 yrs old. Its been a long time since i was as young and new to love as you. I wish i could go back and feel that innocence again that u have. You are awesome. You will have a long life with many different loves and heartbreaks. Every time u fall in love again you will swear that its the most youve ever loved and when its over every time you will swear it hurts more than any heartbreak you had before... Truth is that you only have you. We are ultimately alone. So fall in love with yourself. If you love yourself then you wont need anyone else and thats an awesome feeling. Be strong.

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Samuel says:
21 Dec, 2015 04:53 PM

Hm.. Darling u should know one thing...u should thing before u talk and u should not talk and thing... In our life we will do lots of mistakes...we expect that every one should forgive that... So u should also do that same dear k don't wry I have hope on u r love he will come back to u oneday so pls don't let him go my. Darling :'(.. It will hurt u both ... By u r lovely friend sam

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Jillian L says:
29 Dec, 2015 06:41 AM

I've moved on from him and I have stayed as strong as I can. There are some songs I listen to that he sang to me all the Tim that I break apart when I hear but I've tried to stay strong. Thank you all for the comments.

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NILKOUS says:
02 Jan, 2016 09:42 AM

Mine....G.F thought i m a slaughter cause my friend told her I don't love her anymore and she love other..but after hearing the truth she accepted me back...by....Monin and Nikita love story

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prashanth says:
06 Jan, 2016 05:07 PM

Jillian i dont know who ur but after reading ur story i can tell u one thing that god makes us to meet wrong person before meeting the right one. If u dont overcome this how would u know ur potential dont lose ur will power .i know its very hard to overcome such obstacles .love your self then ur life will be beautiful you life will become beautiful

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Brooke says:
12 Jan, 2016 07:27 PM

sorry but u just have to remember what dosnt kill you makes you stronger!!

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JOHN says:
26 Jan, 2016 08:05 PM

I'm sorry... I understand why what you have said but sometimes it just really happens to people inlove.
We don't know when, why. But it happens somehow. Just like me and my ex girlfriend who broke up with me and slap me multiple times... She even accidently cut my arm by a broken glass when i was trying to tell her how much i love her.

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Connor says:
09 Feb, 2016 03:08 AM

I am sorry to hear you have been through that struggle. Do your best to manage the bad thoughts caused by it. (:

Also, just a note - I found it quite difficult to read and [sometimes] understand because there are no commars. But I managed.

*no hate intended

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Jung Ng says:
20 Feb, 2016 09:25 AM

well its sad to know this.
this same situation happened to me and now I'm forever heartbreak.

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Jung Ng says:
20 Feb, 2016 09:25 AM

well its sad to know this.
this same situation happened to me and now I'm forever heartbreak.

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Jung Ng says:
20 Feb, 2016 09:38 AM

So sad to know this.
well this same situation was happened to me in 2015 and now I'm forever heartbreak

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Emily says:
19 Apr, 2016 03:20 AM

I met a guy named Steven. He was just like that. But without the paranoia part. He tried to commit suicide. He failed. Leter that night we got together. 3 weeks had pasted. After that no words from him. I think he had commited suicide ????????

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badasscutiegirl12 says:
19 Apr, 2016 04:32 PM

Im so sorry I feel you Jillian....

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Jillian L says:
26 May, 2016 09:20 PM

I've gotten over him. I've forgotten almost everything about him all through the power of music and dance. Thank you though.

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jillian says:
06 Jun, 2016 01:50 AM

I'm so sorry but it doesn't sound like you got over him I say that to all of my friends about my ex but it is not true I miss him every single day I wake up. And I agree with Samantha's Sister don't cut or try to harm yourself they leave ugly scars and there may but one day you have had to much and really take your life what are all of your friends and family going to do without you. Losing someone to suicide is so so so so so hard, after it is done there is no turning back at all. Trust me I have lost 4 of my beast friends to that and it brakes my heart to see or hear about people doing that. That's why I try my best to stop people from doing it. So far I have helped 30 people on stopping on cutting themselves and it make you really happy after. Back to the point (sorry) you can try to reach out and talk to him and mend what is broken. I wish you the best of luck bye

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Surya says:
27 Sep, 2016 02:39 PM

Same to me but small change

Replace boy to girl and girl to boy

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Mist says:
01 Oct, 2016 04:19 PM

Wish u get a chance to be with him again

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God knows says:
25 Oct, 2016 04:07 PM

I'm soo sorry for that. Maybe you did maybe you didn't. Did you ever apologize that sounded like true savage unless you deserved it. And if you guys really do want to end up with each other you'll come back. also if you miss him that bad and it causes that much home (if still), then try your best to get him back. (He'll see how much you care and he'll give it his all) good luck sweety

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God knows says:
25 Oct, 2016 05:14 PM

Maybe you should tell him about you cutting yourself. Please do sense he's the source of the pain, he'll be the only one to take you out of it.

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SadIsMyLife says:
21 Nov, 2016 09:33 PM

Is This Real?

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introvert77 says:
30 Dec, 2016 11:06 PM

That was so sad.We have the same experience.

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