A Part Of My Life02 Sep, 2015 01:02 PM
Sadness is not only about being heart broken by a boy or a girl, it is not only about going through a bad relationship. Sadness can be of various types. It can be of different categories and my one falls in one of them.
I'm a girl and I have a hidden pain inside me which I wasn't not being able to share with anyone till now.
I feel anxious. I feel anxious and scared when I'm standing alone in a crowded room. My whole body starts to shiver and I start to sweat. I feel very weak. And nearly collapse every time. I used to hate my life. I felt so sick all the time. I cried for endless hours and spent sleepless nights alone in my room. I used to feel very alone and scared. I just was not able to share this pain I felt with anyone, this made everything worse.
One day I went to school and saw that none of my friends came. I saw that I was standing alone and all the other people where having fun in groups. I started shivering and I nearly collapsed. Drops of sweat poured down from my forehead and i was just to weak to even stand properly. My vision got blurry and I started feeling dizzy. I wanted to cry but was too scared. Thankfully my mom came to pick me up early that day. I was saved.
After that day I stopped going out much. I never went to any parties. I felt too detached from the world. I felt so depressed all the time as I always thought that I'm not normal like other people. I always felt different and a bit left out for this, because I'm not that good at socializing either.
I know that there are lots of people out there who suffer from the same thing that I'm suffering from but just can't tell anyone because it's hard for people to understand. And maybe all these people cant share this hidden pain they have within them with anyone, just like me.
Yes, this was my pain; that I couldn't tell anyone about how I felt and what I was suffering through. I cant keep it within myself anymore so i took the courage to tell it to you guys. And I'm no more ashamed of sharing it that I have anxiety.