Young Betrayal14 Dec, 2014 07:40 AM
This is a true story that has actually happened to me. *Disclaimer, this is pretty bizarre so while it's okay to have an opinion, please respect it. Thank you*
There was this young girl who was working on towards her career meaning she was still in grade school and here was a man who has a job, kids, and financial stability. This was their story of buried love.
They have seen each other for about 3-4 years about three times a week because they both attended the same church. They girl at the time was 13 when she first started while the man was 27. He had two beautiful darling daughters who attended with him that were aged 5 and 7. How much did the young girl loved them since she was a bible school teacher there. The man also worked with her too but little did they know that their buried feelings for each other remained secret until 3-4 years later.
He texted her. "Hey girly pie what have you been up to?" With kindness the young girl replied, "Just relaxing and enjoying my time before church." They talked and talked until this question was brought up, "Hey how old are you?" With innocence the girl replied, "16." The guy then afterwards confessed that he did indeed have a crush on her and that was why he asked about her age.
She was shocked to hear and see such words on her screen but was delighted and scared at the same time. Boys have abused her both physically and emotionally in the past before so what made him so different? She admired his maturity and confidence. She had and still has low self esteem towards herself so she didn't understand why but they kept talking and talking.
He would call her in the late nights and wouldn't stop calling her beautiful. They spilled each other's pasts like they were unveiling themselves for the first time. For the girl, it was but she wasn't so sure about the guy. He had girlfriends before and she never had one. Not even a kiss. Until one night while the guy was driving home he went by a relatives house that was only a street away and deciding to visit the young girl after not seeing her for a week.
Like a ninja, he parked near the far mailbox and waited for his love to get the mail. She came out and ran to him. They embraced in darkness because he got out to meet her. He then started shaking with nerves as he leaned down to steal a kiss from her virgin lips. So warm the girl never thought it could happen in such a beautiful safe way, she never wanted to go. Out of fear for his life because he could go to prison, she had to bid him farewell until another day 2 weeks later. On that night he stole 3 kisses each one more passionate than the last. Her mind was spiraling out of control. She was in love with him.
They texted and called each other every night since and for the passed few months they were able to love each other like they have always wanted to do so. He loved her and she loved him. He even told her that he wanted to marry the "gorgeous girl" that was "too good to be true" but the mountain that was keeping us was our age. She cannot do anything in her power to bring his wish.
In the beginning they both warned each other not to fall too hard just incase they might find someone else more suitable. That was the deal but it was broken with kisses she let him take from her. They loved each other unconditional and have, in some instances, wanted to spend more than one evening together. All this done in secret.
One day, while the girl took care of some kids she had this guilt placed in her heart that she was holding him back from loving someone. She told him that her college would sacrifice some years from her and that's when he changed. He began to push her away and to her surprise, he even told her that it was best to break off since he was wanting a partner now. Who can blame him? He was 30 years of age.
His girls needed a mother figure and as desperately as She wanted to be there, she could not.
The girl began to try to pull him closer again fearing both rejection and separation but the only way she was going to keep him was by giving up her purity. She was willing to do so but her faith was stronger so she refused sadly. He then started seeing this other woman that became his girlfriend by only a few days. They must have been talking while the guy and the young girl were talking. The girl, emotionally unstable broke down and began to feel worthless, useless, guilt, insecure, depressed, unloved, ugly, and pathetic. All guys that have ever been in her life were just complete utter jerks to her and was she right? Was this one the same thing? Had he lied about everything's he has told her?
The girl was persistent and tried to bring her one love back. Confusing this with "young love" would be foolish since she did develop these feelings for over a couple years but it came with a biting cost. Her vast complex root system of love was ripped out like a tree without it's roots. She never liked anyone or has felt so strongly about a person before in her life based in what she went though. He was just shielding her off as if it was planned to be done from the beginning. Was this just a way to have an excuse to let her go so that he may try with this other girl? They made a deal. The deal the guy proposed was that if the relationship between him and his new lover didn't work he would return back to the young girl when she became 18.
A small glimmer of both hope and grief came over her as she saw the light but didn't. He did still love her but was she his second choice and will it be always his second choice? She wanted to be his first because he was her first.
She agreed anyways, deals can't be broken so now she has to wait. It was all her fault. She just wasn't old enough and there was and still is, Nothing she could do. She wanted to change her appearance and life. She wanted to magically turn 21 by the next week and she prayed hard. Her first heartbreak was just too much to bear. All those messages of "your special" "your a keeper" were all lies. She locked up her heart so that if it may ever happen again, she have him her key to do so. He probably doesn't deserve it but he was and still is special. He will always be special in her eyes. She loved his girls from the bottom of her heart and loved him too.
His voice is what she misses most now since they have moved on from the church. Awaiting on her 18th, she must now try to carry on as if it never happened. "What do I do with these feelings?" She asked him at one point and with a surprise he replied, "I don't know goodnight." She cried and cut. Not just because if him but of her openness to other people. She had cut that last year too because of social exclusion and bullying. This was just a horrible confirmation that she was indeed unloved and cannot be loved. She wasn't good enough. She wasn't worth keeping. She clings on to hope now.
She loves him still even if he had already shared that love with that girl. How tragic...how pathetic...how useless is she. Thank you for listening.