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The 6 year story......

Dee

26 Sep, 2014 12:02 AM

I was a tender 21, she was a strong 26... I fell in love the moment i met her.. She had an amazing sense of humor, a carefree heart, and not to mention she was stunning.. I still remember the first time i met her 6 years ago in September... She picked me up and we went on a date to Target, little did i know that she would change my life for ever.. i remember feeling butterflies as the time to see her got nearer, She picked me up and i clearly remember her telling me I was so much more beautiful in person.. Oh yes i forgot to mention we met online.. We went to Target to buy her dogs food and treats, then she took me over to her house, I met her family, we played with her dogs and grabbed something to eat after.. I remember looking into her eyes and feeling gushy inside, I can truly say i fell in love that day... We talked and got to know each other more, we laughed, and truly had such a good time... There was no way i could have ever known the way it would end, or that it would even end to begin with..

At that time she was always ready to have a good time, she always wanted to be out and about, dinner, movies, hiking this girl was constantly on the go.. i remember there were times i couldn't join her out and she would throw fits, she would say mean things to me and tell me that she no longer wanted to talk to me anymore.. you see the thing is that this girl was not used to being told "no".. She always got her way, even as a child the true definition of "spoiled rotten".. So yes she would throw angry fits whenever i couldn't make it out.. I didn't like that about her but for some reason I continued to fall in love with her more and more although she pushed me away.. There would be months of talking and hanging out, love making and making up.. and then there would be months that she would be angry at me, we wouldn't talk or see each other.. No matter what i always loved her.. I never quite understood why, but i did... I remember she had other "people" she would hang out with when i could not make it out.. This stuff made me so jealous.. I hated her for going out with other people (other potential partners), i remember at that point in time i still had her on social media, so she would update her statuses stating how much fun she was having with those other people, yet every time her and i hung out, no posts like that were ever put up.. That always made me feel so small.. So sad, But still I was in love with her.. Although i knew she was not mine.. And most likely would never be mine.. During that time we had what i call a "Random relationship" i would say booty call but that's just not what it was, it was more than that.. i would come over on the weekends, stay the whole weekend, we would hook up and act like a couple, but as soon as Sunday came, it would be time for me to go home and things would go back to being random, and sometimes even awkward.. Until the next weekend would roll around..

There was a moment in time where we stopped talking for about a year, But she still crossed my mind, i still longed for her, longed for her kiss, her caress, her love.. Finally one day i got an email with her name on it.. We chit chatted for a bit, trying to catch up.. and let me tell you my heart beat a million times a minute that day, i would so anxiously wait for every email, she finally asked to see me and of course i had to say YES! On my next day off i saw her, and it was as if time never passed... We still got along so great, we still had that connection, we still knew we loved each other.. We began exclusively seeing each other going out on dates and spending so much time together, July 1st 2011 she asked me to go with her to the mall, i went, we had a great time we tried riding the ferris wheel but it was shut down.. so we just went to a Chinese food place and had lunch.. After our meal she asked if i wanted my fortune cookie and i said no, i was so full.. When we were finally leaving the mall she told me she was going to eat her cookie, that was when i said i wanted mine too.. i opened up her cookie and my fortune was different It was a small piece of paper with her writing and it read "So beautiful you are, will you be my one and only?" I began crying and looked her in her eyes.. I said YES YES YES! (she then told me the original plan was to ask me on the ferris wheel) At the end of the day she was all i had ever wanted.. Just her and i finally after 3 years of me wanting to be with her.. That was the beginning of the Chris and Dayanna story..

We became best friends, we told each other everything, we laughed at the same things, yet we could also have serious conversations.. What hurts most now is reminiscing about all those talks we had about our future together.. How our lives would be together.. Moving out, Planning trips... just sharing our lives together... We often bought each other cute gifts and wrote each other the sweetest letters.. By then i was 22 and she was 28.. So many of my "fist times" were with her.. When it came to food, traveling, concerts, just always trying new things.. She taught me so much, and i fell completely and utterly in LOVE, my every text in the morning was to her, my every thought throughout the day was her, my every text before bed was to her.. There was never a shortage of me telling her how much i loved and adored her, and how lucky i was to be with her.. She did the same to me, we were two peas in a pod.. We went to family events, we were all just one big happy family, i was always included in her family gatherings.. It was by far the best relationship i had ever been in.. Birthdays and Christmas's were the best.. We always knew exactly what to get each other, we always paid attention to what we both said we wanted.. We always made sure to make every waking moment special..

Until this day it breaks my heart to know that things change, that things dont stay the same for ever, that the spark that once became fire, slowly begins to disappear, that we begin to get too comfortable and we kind of lose interest.. That some of the things that used to once be cute, become annoying and not as cute anymore.. Time has a way of doing that.. Any one who has been in a long term relationship knows it happens, it's just a matter of how you handle it as a couple... How strong the bond and love is... And if it can withstand the ups and downs.. That's what happened to us.. Things got rough, a little too rough, I felt we outgrew each other and we drifted apart.. maybe there were things we could have done.. But i felt we did too much to try to keep it together.. It's like the harder we tried the more we drifted.. As painful as it was we both knew it just wasn't meant to be.. But just because we felt that way it didn't mean we didn't love each other.. it just means we both are mature enough to know that sometimes things just dont work out.. And that it is better to let go and hurt, rather than to stay in a relationship and hurt every day knowing we dont love each other the way we once did.. It has now been 17 days since we broke up... And every single memory her and i shared haunts me, I see her in my dreams, my every thought is stuck on her as i wonder if she misses me as much as i miss her.. I am now 26 and she is 32.. i spent most of my adult life with her.. Whether in a relationship or not she was my everything.. She was all i knew all those years, from the moment i feel in love back when i was 21 until now.. The thought of not being able to spend the rest of my life with her like we had planned breaks my heart every time i think about it.. To know that i will no longer hear her voice makes me feel like i have millions of bee's stinging my heart.. I miss her terribly every single day and every night, when i see her in my dreams but i cant get close enough to touch her.. As i type this the memories flow from my eyes and stream onto my cheeks.. And i think to myself "how will i ever move on?" But i know i will.. I have great friends and i joined a local gym, to get my mind busy on other things.. i think our story will always haunt me.. i think the memories will always haunt me... But one day at a time right?

I can not picture my life from this day forward with anyone else.. But that is beside the point, as i am not ready for that today, or tomorrow or the next day.. I need to work on myself.. I need to learn to be happy by myself before i take it anywhere with anyone else.. many times so far i have tried to drown my sorrows with alcohol but when i come back to reality, the thought of her is still there... She helped me grow, she helped me mature.. She helped mold me into the person i am today.. And for that i will will always be thankful, and for that i will always love her.... Forever was what i envisioned with her... but now the only forever i can promise her is a place in my heart, just for her... Forever...

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alyssa says:
14 Oct, 2014 08:41 AM

Sometimes people just need more space. Believe it or not when two people are truly meant to be it has a way of just coming back to you. At the time because you have spent so much time with this person they are all that you know they were your best friend so it's obvious that you can't picture yourself with anyone else. The only solution is time. Time is what we evolve around and time will heal you. If you are truly meant to be with her you will l. Have faith and give it time.

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Faith John says:
15 Oct, 2014 07:14 AM

Just hold on..if she's meant to be, she'll catch up...In love there are ups and downs...love is so informal..when you breakup..it's like your waiting for rainfall in a desert place..but no wonder seeing a leaf with a drop of water.....

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Open says:
26 Oct, 2014 07:08 PM

...Bang bang, he shot me downBang bang, I hit the groundBang bang, that awful soundBang bang, my baby shot me down.I know this is not the place for kkaorae, but when I saw those shoes and someone here mentioned Cher, I just couldn't resist..

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Bob says:
03 Dec, 2014 04:30 AM

Reading this story brings tears to my eyes. I feel your pain at age 53 and almost divorced. Halloween night while on my favorite dating site, a nice lady contacted me saying she liked my dating profile. I think I replied back thanking her. That was pretty much it until she contacted me again on the site the following night. Soon we were talking on the phone and a day or two later we started to get hot and heavy over the phone and via text. We soon planned a date for election night. Before the date she said she was going to give me a big hug and kiss when we met. Did she ever! It was beautiful and we locked up right in the parking lot. Then we got in her car and continued. I brought her a single yellow rose her favorite color and she was thrilled! We finally ate and after she gave me a ride over to my car. We remained in her car and she kissed me so slowly and passionately it was absolutely amazing. We stared into other's eyes and we held each other so tight that I never wanted to go home. Well, soon it was time to go. I woke up the next morning with tears of joy in my eyes and I texted her and she did too! I was never this happy in all my love life and I thought all of the pain and loneliness from most of my life was finally over! I had finally found the one to spend the rest of my life with! Oh the joy! Well I met her three days later for coffee before work and we had a nice time. We kissed and hugged goodbye while she left the scent of her Charlie White perfume on my fleece jacket that stayed with me all day. Well, our plans for the next day got changed due to a legitimate family issue. Plans for the next day were changed because she spent the day with her son. Cutting to the chase I later found out that the family issue is that her sister in law has breast cancer. Yes, that is terrible. But it seems that the love of my life is using this a means to stop communicating with me. All hope is fading fast. Like never before I have drank to take the edge off. I've resorted to drinking hard liquor for relief. I have asked the Good Lord to send me an army of angels to make her come back to me. I have cried like a baby over and over even wishing that if I had been a better husband to my wife then I wouldn't be in this situation. With a quivering voice I have told my story to anyone who will listen. And just when I think I'm over her, the tears start flowing again. What stinks is that you can't escape it; you can't hide from it; you can't pretend it will go away, because the pain, sorry and sadness is always there. I have asked sweet Jesus to take me in his arms and make it go away. I'm waiting and praying for him, but I think there is a lesson to be learned. Despite this massive suffering, I cannot go without letting her know exactly how I feel. I plan to send her a Christmas card with a note spilling my guts. I don't care what her reaction may be if it is bad. I won't know anyway. Well, I am going to make it very clear how much in an instant I came to absolutely adore and love her. And I will say if that scares the hell out of you so be it!!! I will not even for the sake of shredding my broken heart to pieces will I hold back my feelings. She was online looking for a man and she found the best one in the world. There is nothing to fear because I am here for her forever! That's what true love is all about. Jokingly I wonder what kind of love story this would look like on the big screen. Well, I can tell you right now it will definitely be a tear jerker. In closing, all I ask is for you to pray for me good people. Finally, I don't believe there is anything wrong with me and my reaction to love lost. I'm just a fool in love looking for genuine everlasting love just like everyone else. God Bless everyone.

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Bella says:
02 Jan, 2016 09:53 PM

I really like the story. I can somehow relate on this. Its really hard to know that the person you really love so much is trying to avoid you. While reading this story, I really want to cry but I can't coz I'm in the office LOL!!. God Bless to you and I hope you two will end up being together. In God's perfect time, if not, atleast you can be with someone who will love you as much as you love her. Just don't lose hope.

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JBot says:
21 Jan, 2016 07:43 PM

OMG I can so relate to your story! I was 17 when i met a woman 26. She was a teacher at my school. We became close after i passed out from school and would chat every single moment for like 6 months. But then she got married and left me here to die in sorrow. Its been 3 months and i havent been able to remove her from my heart. I think of her every moment. :(

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Grace says:
07 Feb, 2016 08:05 AM

I am 21 and she is 20 a very very beautyfull she is .......at the starting it was so good times we had we made love but suddenly when things chaned it just left me alone .....we are no together anymore nd i dont know how long it will take us to see each again may be never in this life but i have been alwYs loved her and i will......

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tenele dlamini says:
20 Feb, 2016 02:25 PM

going thru d same ryt now.Its hurting so much

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Rt 78 says:
20 Oct, 2016 09:14 PM

Hi so sad avstory...I'm currently going thru the same pain here
my bf told me he doesn't want to see me be cuz I cut my self but he cause that...I cried my heart out for days n I'm still crying but I song no wat to still do. I'm 16 n he's 16..I heard now he's going bk to his ex..I'm just broken..I'm feeling to just go kill myself...I can't move on although I'm trying....I tried to fake smiles with everyone as they no me as the happy girl...

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