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All alone...

kendra tinch

12 Sep, 2014 02:31 AM

My name is Kendra Tinch, I have night terrors to the point where I am scared to sleep, I woke up by having one about my best friend...Charlie and I can't fall back to sleep so I wrote this about him. Why did god put his life in my hands...my weak, confused, and young hands. Ever since I was in Kindergarten I have always been a loner. I would never talk to anyone and I would always swing alone ever day.


My teachers and family members were worried about me saying I was abnormal and needed to make friends. I was all alone, until third grade when I met my best friend Charlie Tuggle. He was my only friend we would swing together everyday. I had the biggest crush on him and I wanted to tell him but I was too scared so instead of saying anything I just kept quiet and swang. The same two swings, kids used to make fun of me but Charlie would always say the same thing "You will always have me." I swear I can still hear that voice. Fifth grade he invited me to go four wheeler riding with him. I said no...I don't know why all I know is that I didn't want to.


Three days past by and Charlie didn't come to school, then I saw his mom and I asked her where Charlie was and she had this expression on her face. That look, I will never forget it, it's burnt into my mind. Then She started crying and hugged me at the time all I was thinking was "What is going on..." Then everything became clear as she told me that Charlie went out four wheeler riding alone and flipped in the creek. I was silent and couldn't breathe my whole world came crashing down.


"No one noticed until it was too late." Before she could go on I ran out of the room. For a month straight I refused to talk to anyone, anytime someone would mention Charlie I would get mad and have a panic attack. Three years later...now, I still can't stand to hear that name...I still have night mares and I still believe it was all my fault. Two days ago when I was running in cross country we ran past the Elementary school and past the playground and I remember seeing the two swings and I couldn't move and starting puking...I still haven't gotten over it and I don't think I ever will..maybe if I had gone with him I wouldn't be all alone now.

Tags: Sad, Depression, Alone
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unknown says:
21 Sep, 2014 03:23 AM

Its not ur falt

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Mark says:
24 Sep, 2014 02:35 PM

The only way to live with it is not trying to forget just smile

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kendra tinch says:
24 Sep, 2014 06:15 PM

Thank you guys so much I just have felt so alone but you guys are being so supportive

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Batman says:
01 Oct, 2014 04:13 PM

MY PARENTS ARE DEAD

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kendra tinch says:
05 Nov, 2014 12:21 AM

I hope you were being serious and not making a reference based off your Username, because this is a site for people who are hurting inside, not for people messing around and making jokes...

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Ashley says:
03 Mar, 2015 12:01 AM

It is not your fault

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Ashley says:
03 Mar, 2015 12:04 AM

That what happen to me in school don't worry just move one like I did it is better you might be jealous,or heartbroken.

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Summer Rich says:
21 May, 2015 01:29 PM

Kendra, Hey it's Summer. I remember Charlie too. The story of him flipping in the creek a lone is not true tho. What really happened was that him and him grandpa were riding on the same 4-wheeler, and Charlie fell off the back, his grandpa didn't see him, and back over him. It crushed his lungs and his vital organs.

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ygb says:
31 May, 2015 02:54 PM

I feel same I also have one friend like you I alway so be alone I love aloneness

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April Cash says:
03 Sep, 2015 06:11 PM

Hi Kendra. Long time it's been, if you see this please email me. I just wanna talk.

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April Cash says:
03 Sep, 2015 06:20 PM

Please email me Kendra...

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Steven Blair says:
14 Dec, 2015 08:05 PM

U told me about him and how u miss him. I knew it was bad, but I didn't know how bad till I read that post sorry that happened to you Kendra. But that wasn't your fault Kendra so don't blame yourself.

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Steven says:
15 Dec, 2015 08:26 PM

It's not your fault Kendra don't blame yourself it was an accident.... I hope u get over it or at least Can deal with the horrible burden it leaves on you

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