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Goin with the flow


24 Oct, 2013 08:02 PM

I am Sammie, I have been tall all my life, I am friends with all guys, I am biracial, and I am very easy to hurt.

I don't know what to do with life, it all seems so hard. Well let me take you back to 2012, when I first meant Chris. Chris is a cutie, tall, blonde hair and blue eyes. He was my best-friend, but things started to get weird... He knew I loved him, I made it obvious. But at the same time, I couldn't stop. I wanted to but I couldn't. Feelings wouldn't leave, so I gave in.. And that's how it ended. We stopped talking, I stopped thinking about him and it finally vanished. I started talking to Ben, who is my best friend but I believe I have no feelings, its complicated.

Ben is also hansom, tall, brown hair brown eyes. The sight of Ben just makes me smile, because he is so pure hearted. Everyone says I am in love with him, so I just go with the flow. What if I am? Well, I better get to the point....

"Just one hit man, its fun." said my friend since kindergarten, Robert.
"I don't know Rob, it'll interfere with sports and health and eh"
"Don't be scared Sammmie, it is awesome do it"
And I did it. I am not one to keep things from Ben, I cant. But I should learn to... Ben hates drugs, and so did I. But when I told Ben he turned RED.
"Are you serious? What is wrong with you!" Ben was screaming now.
"I am so sorr-" he cut me off.
"Sorry? You know I hate that stuff!"
"I am sorry." I walked away, crying.

Later that day, I remembered something, Ben and I always walk to 4th period. So when I went to our meeting spot we walked slowly and silently.
"I am sorry." that was the last thing I said before he took his seat in science. He hated me. But things picked back up, Ben stopped caring. I stopped caring. Neither of us care about me, and I don't think I will ever be able to love myself. But, after writing this, I guess I do love Ben.

I am Sammie, I have been tall all my life, I am friends with all guys, I am biracial, and I am very easy to hurt. I told myself I would never do drugs, I did them, I lost the one person I cared for. I love Ben.

Tags: Help, Sadness
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