Stronger EveryDay (High Hopes)20 Jun, 2013 07:22 PM
I am writing a true story. In 2012 I tried to overdose on pills, my mum had died when I was five and my dad had cancer. I was stupid and in deep depression. I used to self harm and I would not listen to anyone and I would not smile at all. I got in all sorts of trouble. I had no hope in myself, I would sit around at night crying to myself to take my life away. Because I thought there was no point of me living. I didn't believe I could get up on my feet again. I had planned to do it again but one of my friends told me that there is no point taking my life away. Because I'm still young. Someday from now I could have a family, a job, go on holidays, meet new people and make my dreams come true.
His speech made me realize that what I was thinking was just a quick decision I made because I gave up, because I didn't trust in myself, I didn't have hope. I then thought back. All those people who would miss me. Even when it wasn't so obvious, I could see who would miss me. I started to think of all the happy moments I had before that event in my life. I used to be happy. I used to be proud.
I started asking myself "what happened?" that was when I realized I can still make things right. I would start to get up on my feet, and if I fell? I would stand up again. I would outpace all the bad memories and overcome this darkness that was lingering around me. I started having hope of better times. I started saying to myself "Stay strong, I can go through this"
I am now starting again with my life even though it's not that easy, But I got high hopes which get me back to where I started. Before that event. The world keeps spinning around and I need to catch up. Someday, I know that I will look back and be proud of what I did. That I dealt with this problem in a good way. Self harm and pills are not the good choice. So all of you who have doubts in your self, just take a step forward and then another, keep going until you reach that goal in life. Not suicide but the urge to live. Look around, all those friends you have, your family.
Even when you get those lies pushed into you, just forgive, I know it's hard but I finally made up my mind to forgive everyone who used to give me lies. So put away your knife and put away those pills. Talk to a friend or member of family. Try to overcome this need of death. Think positively, think of the future and think of what awaits you if you live.
Take a deep breath and be proud of who you are. Be strong because I know that at the end of the day you are stronger than you were and you can face another day. Not alone but Together.