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Stronger EveryDay (High Hopes)

CrystalWolfTear

20 Jun, 2013 07:22 PM

I am writing a true story. In 2012 I tried to overdose on pills, my mum had died when I was five and my dad had cancer. I was stupid and in deep depression. I used to self harm and I would not listen to anyone and I would not smile at all. I got in all sorts of trouble. I had no hope in myself, I would sit around at night crying to myself to take my life away. Because I thought there was no point of me living. I didn't believe I could get up on my feet again. I had planned to do it again but one of my friends told me that there is no point taking my life away. Because I'm still young. Someday from now I could have a family, a job, go on holidays, meet new people and make my dreams come true.

His speech made me realize that what I was thinking was just a quick decision I made because I gave up, because I didn't trust in myself, I didn't have hope. I then thought back. All those people who would miss me. Even when it wasn't so obvious, I could see who would miss me. I started to think of all the happy moments I had before that event in my life. I used to be happy. I used to be proud.

I started asking myself "what happened?" that was when I realized I can still make things right. I would start to get up on my feet, and if I fell? I would stand up again. I would outpace all the bad memories and overcome this darkness that was lingering around me. I started having hope of better times. I started saying to myself "Stay strong, I can go through this"

I am now starting again with my life even though it's not that easy, But I got high hopes which get me back to where I started. Before that event. The world keeps spinning around and I need to catch up. Someday, I know that I will look back and be proud of what I did. That I dealt with this problem in a good way. Self harm and pills are not the good choice. So all of you who have doubts in your self, just take a step forward and then another, keep going until you reach that goal in life. Not suicide but the urge to live. Look around, all those friends you have, your family.

Even when you get those lies pushed into you, just forgive, I know it's hard but I finally made up my mind to forgive everyone who used to give me lies. So put away your knife and put away those pills. Talk to a friend or member of family. Try to overcome this need of death. Think positively, think of the future and think of what awaits you if you live.
Take a deep breath and be proud of who you are. Be strong because I know that at the end of the day you are stronger than you were and you can face another day. Not alone but Together.

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Kolby Copeland says:
08 Nov, 2013 04:55 AM

This story helped me figure out some things. Thank you for this and I am glad you made it through =)

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CrystalWolfTear says:
08 Nov, 2013 06:02 PM

Thanks, I am glad to help by spreading this story. I made this quite a long time ago but it was approved only a few days ago. I am now happy to be alive and moving on, getting on with my life and getting on with my friends. It seems to be settling down quicker than I expected. I will continue to spread this story so that others will understand that suicide isn't an option xD

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Carter Mullins says:
04 Dec, 2013 05:14 AM

Thank you, not only for the words of encouragement but also letting us know you, you see i to was and still am in a deep depression and one nite my sister and i were sitting on our diving board after my grandpa had just died and she told me that one nite she took an overdose of her depression pills and was hopeing to die. One day before this i attempted to hang my self and then i think my twin who had died 27 days after birth was watching over me. Because the police came and talked with me if u want to talk send me a message and again thank you.

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CrystalWolfTear says:
10 Jul, 2014 06:25 PM

I find it amazing how people bother posting and sharing their feeings too. You know, this place is beautiful for one thing; we all share our heart-breaking experience with each other.
I am so sad to hear this; I am sure that your grandpa rests in peace and is at rest; lets hope that you will never take a pill/rope into your hand again because there are angel watching over us. It may not be god but there sure is something there.

If I ever want to talk then I shall send a message; thank you!

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anonymous says:
30 Apr, 2015 02:15 AM

This makes such sense, I still can't understand how the person that wrote such a positive message could do the very thing she was condemning. I hope you have found peace in the afterlife, Crystal, I just wish you could've lived long enough to triumph over your depression...

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