Vote +8

I'm lost...

Purple Shadow

29 Jan, 2013 02:16 PM

Happiness wasn't meant for me...I hate my life and I didn't want to hate myself,but I ended up like that,anyway. My mother moved far away because of her job and now I live with my father, who is nuts. Seriously,he needs to go see a psychologist or something!!! He has a very serious problem with his nerves. But I have a serious problem,too...I am bipolar and I have depression. But I can't help it...What would YOU do if your life sucked like mine does? Yes,you heard me:my life sucks.

HARD...Every day I hear these cheerful people say that they love everything and that if I want my life to change, I should be grateful for some things... But how can I be grateful when THERE'S NOTHING to be grateful for? My life isn't satisfying at all. I'm ugly as hell, unpopular, a complete idiot and so lazy that I can't wake up in the morning to go to school. As a result,I'm almost staying in the same grade next year. Also,I never study or do my homework so my grades suck too. About my "friends"? Haha...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I don't feel like talking about these bitches at all, OK?! They are the main reason I ended up with depression! I don't have any chances of finding a good job when I grow up and I'm pretty sure I'll never get a boyfriend either...Who would want to be MY boyfriend?I'm so ugly that even my eyes widen when I look myself in the mirror. Also I'm broken and so many dreams of mine have been turned into mush, that I don't feel like dreaming anymore.

I wasn't always like this...I was once a happy girl, full of energy. But you see, life tends to make people like me hurt and scared to move on. That's what it does... It takes sensitive people and torture them, until there's nothing left of them... The end... However, I can't rip out my heart so that I won't have feelings. I'll always be able to feel. That's why I'll always be in pain: because nothing good ever comes my way. It feels like I'm cursed or something!!! I've tried everything. I prayed and tried but nothing happened..I don't know what else to do. I'm stuck. AGAIN. And I HATE feeling stuck! God I swear I hate this feeling SOOOO much! I'd rather die than live my whole life filled with this feeling!! HELP!!Is anyone out there who feels the same way? Anyone?? I'm looking for some comfort here and someone to talk to...If you feel like that too or if you've at least been through this, please help me!! I don't want to live like this anymore! I'm serious!! This site is my last hope...

<< Previous Story
Vote +8
Next Story >>

Comments

Post a Comment
profile pic
Empty void says:
13 May, 2013 04:52 AM

I feel how you feel
I have similar disabilities like you but I am shy to talk about it
I don't have a girlfriend though i wish i had one

profile pic
Empty void says:
13 May, 2013 04:56 AM

I want to be your friend! I want to help people that is one of my goals. My life is similar to yours except my parents are still with me my dad also has a serious problem.

profile pic
mora says:
13 May, 2013 01:52 PM

life is not easy but how can you still alive is harder
everything have their own way
dont look down on yourself dont give up
do everything that you never do it before you will find the different way to survive. dont let the bad thing make your life full of sadness. just let it pass and do more the challenge. it's not easy to be a human. we are very lucky to be a human. please wake up from the hell and stay in the real life. you told your life is suck. you already know that your life is suck why dont you rise yourself to be good. happiness and sadness is good either. good that you still can have the feeling. everything will be fine if you keep head up. and dont give up for every bad thing come. you should study from it. and make it better than the past. everything is depend on your thought. i hope this can make you think more. actually i am Thai. my English isnt good but hope you understand.

profile pic
Sergi says:
13 May, 2013 03:05 PM

You´re not alone, i think you just need to dig in the right place, you may feel lonely, sad, unloved, but that is just part of life, honestly i feel that way sometimes, but then i start to think about all the ones who feel this way too, we are not alone, theres always someone in this shitty and selfish society that is worht it and can share feelings, love and friendship with you.

profile pic
Empty void says:
14 May, 2013 03:23 AM

Please just please never give up!!!

profile pic
Nina Delgado says:
14 May, 2013 08:32 AM

calm girl, someone might feel the same thing, been there done that, all I did was to calm, and think about all the good things that happened in my life, THAT'S THAT!

profile pic
Carlie_emo13 says:
14 May, 2013 08:47 PM

hi there! belive me I know how u feel I got token away from my parents when I was 6 years old I always cut now I have depression and anxiety. I have been in foster care for a while bu my grandma adopted me...... she has huge issues too..... So text me if u can @ 7347658510 or kik me @ swagin_on_youuu I would be happy to talk to you and to help you through EVERYTHING(: btw im a girl and I am 12.... well, hope u talk to me don't worry hang in there everything will get better..... I promise.

profile pic
Sarah says:
15 May, 2013 01:41 AM

You are not alone.. Being happy is a choice.. so please live your life.. I feel for you.. I feel also that way.. But Don't look down for yourself.. I'm sad, unloved but I choose to change now... I'm happy and thankful and love by many.. So choose to change.. My Mother is not beside me when I'm just a little child.. But I have my yaya.. she love me but I always ignored her.. Same thing you do.. Don't ignore people who want tyo become your friends...

profile pic
just that kid says:
16 May, 2013 12:58 AM

jbhljb

profile pic
Felicia Morgan says:
17 May, 2013 02:36 PM

"I'm so ugly that even my eyes widen when I look myself in the mirror", holy crap.... youre funny, i would be youre friend lol

profile pic
ronnie hoang says:
19 May, 2013 04:53 PM

hi there!
my life sucks too, my family went bankrupt, and our bankruptcy's assets left are painful, depressed, broken hearts.

profile pic
Cherlsea says:
20 May, 2013 08:23 AM

Ok if u need someone im here and ill always be. Sure i dont know you or anything but that doesnt mean i cant be your friend right? I know how you feel because i've been through a lot too. I cant tell you everything here but ill tell you someday. So beep me if you want to talk ok? Baii lav ya mwahh

profile pic
mitch says:
22 May, 2013 01:43 PM

lovely girl..itz the attitude..itz just a matter of mind setting..try to divert ur attention..donnot think too much of your life,it will always makes you feel sad..let yourself ...you are a child of the universe

profile pic
Lisa says:
24 May, 2013 03:58 PM

Dude.. Ok I just want tell you is that don't commit a suicide! I am sure there are a lot of people with those type of problems who can't live with there life and die... But who ever you are I'd love to be your friend if you are not a bitch

profile pic
magan says:
27 May, 2013 02:41 AM

Listen to me please you are not ugly you are a beautiful girl wanna know why your beautiful cause god made you and everything is beautiful that he creates you have a purpose or else he wouldn't of made you I understand where your coming from I to sometimes feel lost and like there is no more hope for me and I feel empty and lonley and at night I cry in the shower I cry into my pillows but somebody out there finds you beautiful and your there reason for smiling

profile pic
karina sanchez says:
10 Jun, 2013 06:18 PM

she should not even say that everybody is beautiful in their own way that is how i feel but my friends taught me alot and i love them and she should be happy she might not see her self pretty but someone else do

profile pic
Bob says:
05 Jul, 2013 06:26 PM

hey feel free to talk to me.i'd like to help you out.I feel your sadness.It hurts me so much.my address is bobneat@ymail.com

profile pic
Fiona says:
11 Dec, 2013 04:41 PM

I feel the same way too. Im only 13 and i have been this way for about 3 years now. I dont even know why i even get up. I have nothing in my life. Nothing. One day i realized that i was nothing....I tried killing myself. But i guess that didnt work out..because im still here in this messed up world. I have been looking for someone to talk to also. I have no friends. I feel like people want to hurt me and tell me to go hurt myself again. Today, i still am that ugly fat girl. People dont want to talk to me.....Your not the only with problems. The only thing i have in my life is Music. I cant do anything without my music. Music is a big part of my life. But i wish to say this to you. I know that you will find happiness and i hope it comes to you soon. If you want to email me .... fionagran13@gmail

Your Comment

Do not post other site's link, it will be considered as spam